Life as I Know It...

Fall

2010-11-10T07:51:00.004-06:00

I love Fall! It is my favorite season. One thing I love about Fall, besides the cooler weather and the turning leaves, is pumpkins. I crave pumpkin anything! Even as I am writing this, I'm sipping on pumpkin spiced coffee. Yum; it is delish. Pumpkin pie, pumpkin bread, pumpkin cookies, pumpkin seeds...anything pumpkin! Another treasure is the pumpkin farm down the street that the kids and I visit ever year. The hay rides, the corn stalk maze (that we always get lost in), sipping warm, apple cider and feeding the greedy cows white wonder bread. Fall puts me in a good mood and prepares my heart for a state of gratitude. And to top if off, October, my birthday month, is the most beautiful time of year in Texas.

Fall also means new beginnings (the school year and cooler weather) but also change and preparation (the leaves turning and falling). For me, this has been a season of hearing, healing and peace. A season of standing on truths and stomping on lies. A season of growth and maturity. God is certainly preparing me for something bigger and greater than myself and I am ready to say "yes" to His calling. I don't know what that is yet but I feel Him preparing me. It's an exciting time!

As I ponder all these things, I think perhaps my true calling is just to walk in truth and pass it on. I mean, to really get free from all the junk that keeps us in bondage. To really stand on and believe what the God of the Universe spoke into our very beings as He created us in our mother's womb. That's why it's so important to know what HIS truth's are...not the world's version....but HIS word! If we don't know what He says about us, then we will believe the lies. Once we are free of these false accusations, then, and only then, can walk in humility, peace, patience, perseverance, love, joy, truth and His purposes.

I love this perspective by Lysa Terkheurst:

"A real sign of spiritual maturity is looking to God not for comfort and convenience but for purpose and perspective. Comfort and convenience lead to complacency. When trouble comes, the complacent person becomes critical of everyone, including God. On the other hand, purpose and perspective lead us to the perseverance that is evident in those living a truly devoted life. The persistent person eagerly looks to handle trials and struggles in a way that honors God and allows personal growth."

I want this perspective!! I want to daily exclaim that whatever trials come (and they WILL come), I choose to walk in Your truths, Lord.

Here's what God tells me, His beloved:

My past does not define me (it was nailed to the cross)

I am worthy (I was fearfully and wonderfully made)

You delight in me (not because of what I do or don't do but because You created me in Your image)

You have called me to Your purposes (because I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me)

You are faithful and just (You will NEVER leave me nor forsake me)

He loves me with wild abandon (You sent Your only son to die for me even when I was born a sinner)

You cover me with Your provision and protection (I was not born with a spirit of fear)

You have put Your goodness inside of me (for every good and perfect gift comes from You)

Your blood washes me white as snow (when I humble myself before You)

You are for me (All things work together for good for those who love You)

I love this season of hearing, healing and peace. I am so grateful that He cares about every small and seemingly insignificant detail of our daily lives that He stops and whispers these truths to me. I love seeing His hand at work in every aspect of my life! He is good, gracious, merciful, faithful and true. He is LOVE!

Thank you, Father, for ALL these things...and for my favorite season, Fall.

Summer 2010

2010-07-24T02:28:00.009-05:00

Wow. It's almost August and summer is almost over! It has gone by really fast. We have had so much fun this season and have had many great adventures. Bonus: I still have my sanity...well, sort of.

In June we took a trip down to Playa del Carmen, Mexico on the Mayan Riviera. Although we had an awesome time jet skiing and kayaking in the ocean, eating good food, relaxing by the pool and building sandcastles on the beach, Rod and I decided our next vacation will be a trip to downtown Ft. Worth. We are going to stay in the tallest hotel we can find, since apparently, the elevators were our boys' favorite thing about our vacation. One day, we even had to have a "no elevator day" rule because deciding whom should push the buttons on a 3 story building can cause quite a ruckus. No need to spend thousands of dollars on 5-star resorts! A tall Holiday Inn with a great pool and an elevator with lots of buttons is all we need to make us happy! Rod and I will take our vacations separately, of course. We will be beach side.

The highlights from our trip, though, are the laughs and the adventures we had along the way. Our flight was delayed an hour so we were stuck in the DFW airport eating Popeye's chicken. Strangely, that was the best fried chicken I ever had. We all woofed it down like it was our last meal. Then, once boarded, our plane sat on the tarmac for another hour due to a leak in the restroom sink. But we were full from the chicken, and I brought lots of games, so all was good. We finally arrived at the resort, the boys were hungry again and we ordered room service which was another highlight for them. Hey, it's the small things in life; right? The food was incredibly good at this resort and would prove to be a big highlight for all of us. The waiters would graciously bring the boys these amazing non-alcoholic drinks that looked too good to drink and we spent a good bit of time making chocolate-covered strawberries at the dessert bar/lounge. Each day, the boys would have a running contest to see who could get to the elevator first and push the button to go down. We were on the second floor so it was quite a thrill. Rod and I would take the stairs and beat them every time, but, darn it, that elevator was fun! One night, after dinner, they were running down the long corridor to our room and Aidan was lagging behind but proudly yelled at the top of his lungs, "I'm in third!" When saying "third" you must rhyme it with "turd" because Aidan's Bostonian accent pronounces "r" words this way.

A must not do of our vacation was going to the Mayan ruins. If you have kids, skip it. It was miserably hot and brutal in the whining and complaining department. We met a nice Canadian restaurant/hotel owner in Talum when we stopped to have a drink. He was from Toronto and lived in Mexico 6 months out of the year and absolutely loved it. He gave Rod and I some interesting prospectives on retiring. We also went to Xel Ha, which is a natural river that we snorkeled and tubed down. The older boys jumped off a 20 foot cliff after betting each other to do it. Andrew had to pay Alex $7.00 when we got home...but that Andrew is always throwing money around.

Rod and the older boys rode jet skiis and kayaked in the ocean while Aidan and I searched for shells. The water is tamer on the Caribbean side and we decided we liked the Pacific side better for boogie boarding. We ate great food! I weighed myself everyday and managed to hit the gym a couple of times, so I only gained 2 pounds. Whoo-hoo! Our resort had three natural rivers flowing around it so we kayaked down the cenotes into the ocean. That was fun except for the mosquitoes, which never bother me at home but strangely ate me alive in Mexico. We also got to watch a lot of soccer because the world cup was televised 24/7 on 11 tvs in the sports bar...the buzzing of the horns in grand stereo was not a good memory.

Overall, it was a great vacation.

The month of July has been spent going to movies, swimming, having Ronald come in for a visit, camps,playdates, spending the night at grandparents so Mom and Dad can reconnect and sometimes just being lazy. It has been great!

Oh...and we didn't sell our house, but it's okay. I unpacked (mostly). God is good and He continues to bless us.

Mercy and Grace

2010-05-26T02:47:00.003-05:00

In April, my husband and I got a brilliant idea: we would put our house up for sale. Even though naysayers would try to discourage us to not tread this delicate real estate climate, we decided to take the plunge. After all, we weren't desperate to sell and our only reason for doing so was to give our boys a pool. Yes, we would buy a house with a pool and give our boys (and me) some refuge from the long, hot summers of Texas. It was the plan.

If only life were that easy.

In a nutshell, it has been a wild, emotional (for me, not Rod) roller coaster ride dealing with buyers and real estate agents. I have, once again, been faced with the harsh reality that we have very little control over our lives. This is why it is so important to be totally in God's will because whether we like it or not, His will will be done. But some of us have to be beaten over the head to get it....like me.

It started out great. We put our house up for sale, had a few showings and in a matter of 3 weeks, had an offer. However, we soon found ourselves in a web of brutal negotiations and even the buyers' real estate agent was cursing out our real estate agent. (I had no idea bullying was part of an agent's repertoire...but I'm naive that way.) We were threatened with "termination of the contract" if we didn't give into the buyers demands. We didn't budge. They moved forward. Now, with only two days left in their "pending" status on securing their financing, they "may" terminate yet again. It seems that these buyers have decided to put 3 families (ours, the sellers of the house we want to buy and the sellers of the house they need to rent) lives on hold until they make up their minds. The worst part is that I (and the occupants of the house we want to buy) have already started packing! While I am tripping over boxes in my house, and feeling completely sorry for myself, I'm reminded of this certainty: I am not in control.

However, these buyers don't know to whom they are dealing with. For I serve a God who is sovereign. As with ALL things, He works it ALL out for good for those who love Him. This is His personal promise to me, and so, if I do have to unpack, I will thank Him. I will praise Him for knowing our future and directing our paths. AND...this is a big one: I will pray for His mercy and grace on the buyers and the bully real estate agent. For perhaps this is the sole reason why He allowed these people to cross our paths; so that they would be prayed for.

"Thank you, God, for these buyers. Only you know their true intentions, their hearts and their situation. Bless them, Lord. Pour your loving mercy and grace over them. Please help keep my thoughts pure and loving towards them. Show them your love in a huge and substantial way. Give them peace and wisdom as to what to do in this situation. Thank you, God, for the real estate agent. Forgive her for her foul words and manipulative ways. Pour your blessings out on her. Love on her in a such a way that her heart softens towards you. I ask that your mercy and grace overflows for all the families involved. That no bitter feelings will take root. That your sovereign will will be done, in your Holy and precious Name. Amen."

For this I am certain: His mercy and grace is sufficient.

No Worries...Just Trust

2010-03-27T02:47:00.003-05:00

I've been mourning over America this week. Since the signing of the new "health care bill", which will possibly bankrupt us as a Nation and undoubtedly lead us further down the road towards socialism, fear and despair have so gripped my heart. Grief, too, for a nation that was founded under God...for the people...and by the people. We are so far from these ideologies that we scarcely look like the same country. Irresponsible Government bail-outs and sky-rocketing job losses further plague our economy. Furthermore, our relationship with our one true Middle Eastern ally and, most importantly, the Apple of God's eye...Israel...is on the verge of collapse. Our circumstances as a Nation do indeed look bleak.

Since grief is a natural process that is needed to heal aching wounds, I will go there awhile. Ultimately, though, I kneel before my Heavenly Father and ask Him what His truth's are. I talk to Him about my fears, my sadness, my anger, my disappointments. I love His direct and no nonsense response: "Do you trust ME?"

I recently read a friend's blog that pointed out that perhaps Americans have leaned too much on our Nation, on man, on modern medicine, on Government, to be our comforters, security and hope. In other words, we have worshiped the created, not the Creator. WOW! That is powerful stuff! Our greatest sin has been to take our eyes off of the only One who can provide for ALL of our needs! We have become complacent Christians enjoying our freedoms, our full bellies, our lavish lifestyles (compared to 90% of the world) and have forgotten our true callings. He has called us (the body of Christ) to do so much more than what He even did when He walked this earth! That is empowering! He has given us authority (through the Holy Spirit) over sickness, over fear, over grief, disappointment, anger, unforgiveness, etc... We don't have to claim it because it's not ours to claim! How freeing that is to me!

So my answer to his question is: "Yes! I trust you! I have no worries, no fear, no grief. I lay that at your feet, Lord. You, alone, are my refuge, my shelter, my strength. Amen."

"I desire to dwell in the shelter of You, the Most High. I will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of You, Lord, 'You are my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.' " Psm 91: 1-2

"Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze." Isa 43:1-2

"Praise be to You, Lord, for You showed Your wonderful love to me when I was in a besieged city." Psm 31:21

"One thing I ask of You, Lord, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon Your beauty and to seek You in Your temple. For in the day of trouble You will keep me safe in Your dwelling; You will hide me in the shelter of Your tabernacle and set me high upon a rock." Psm 27: 4-5

"Lord of heaven and earth, help me to be still and know you are God; You will be exalted among the nations. You will be exalted in the earth. You, Lord Almighty, are with me; the God of Jacob is my fortress." Psm 46:10-11

"My Father, please help me always to know You are near and not to be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present my requests to You. If I do, Your peace, which transcends all understanding, will guard my heart and mind in Christ Jesus." Phil. 4:5-7

Blessed be His Name!

The Game That NEVER Ends

2010-02-02T11:59:00.004-06:00

Aidan, my 5-year-old, has always been into games. Between the ages of 2 and 3, it was CandyLand. I played CandyLand even in my dreams, because during my waking hours spent with Aidan, it just wasn't enough! (Perhaps this is why I gained 5 pounds during that time...hmmmm?) At 4, he moved on to "Guess Who?" and Dominoes, which were a bit more challenging, but equally as consuming, since this also required my undying devotion. (Moms are such suckers.) Now, it's UNO. I must admit, it's a card game that the whole family is enjoying, but like anything that is overdone, it has started to grate on my nerves. You see, Aidan is very passionate about the games he loves. He must play them over and over and over until he gets the very essence and being of the game itself. It is exhausting. I find myself daydreaming about joyfully shredding each and every card until there is nothing left but a pile of UNO confetti...um...sorry...did I say that outloud?

Anyway, the best part of the madness is observing he and my mom play these games. Linda is a barracuda when it comes to competitive sports, games or challenges. She plays to WIN! (Never mind that her opponent is her 5-year-old grandson...that's not the point...or so I'm told.) Aidan is equally competitive, and so the battle of the wills actually becomes my comedic relief with this twisted but hilarious duo. Battle cries are sung throughout the house as the two duke it out for the very last card to be laid down. Screams of joy, anger and "you cheated!" (mostly by my mom) are yelled out in angst! All the while, I'm doing the happy dance in the bedroom, singing praises to the Lord that he has given me a reprieve, and thanking Him for grandmothers! (Apparently they are suckers too!)

And then, the inevitable happens...my mother goes home. As if on cue, a sweet, smiling face with Cheezit crumbs still stuck to his lips and a stack of cards held tightly in his chubby little hands, comes looking for me with a longing in his eyes. Never mind that I'm in the shower...this is an UNO emergency! The game must go ON...and on...and on...and I am once again...a SUCKER!

OOPS...I did it again!

2010-01-16T09:38:00.003-06:00

If anyone knows me, they know I'm the queen of blunders....so it's not too shocking that I did it again! I will be the first person to admit...I am completely flawed, and by His grace, do I try daily to lay down my flesh and be in this world but not of it. It's a hard and humbling process! But ultimately, it brings me closer to Him. Isn't that what the true meaning of life is?

So my mistake was: I sent out an email to what I thought was only for my Lifegroup sisters (aka...wawa sistas), and accidentally sent it out to EVERYONE in my email address. When I discovered my mistake, I panicked. What I wrote wouldn't be understood by the secular world and I felt almost immediate scrutiny would follow. So I tried to solve the problem by sending out another email stating my mistake and that it was ONLY for my bible study. Unfortunately, not everyone complied and my sweet sisters hit "return all" in their response to me. The result was not good; hurtful words were expressed by some. I felt terrible! This was in no way shape or form meant to be a debate, but a question and an understanding to my sweet sisters who know my heart and who also know the Lord and His word. What a mess! Thankfully, my bible study leader and God put an end to it. No one else commented after her email. Thank you God! Not surprisingly, (since Stacey and Cathy both prayed that the Lord would block or take back most of these emails) several people didn't even get them! God, always shows up, doesn't He?

Here's what I have learned through this process...God is merciful and gracious! Also, that He turns EVERYTHING into good for those who love Him...which just happens to be my favorite scripture; one that is written on the soul of my heart. I also saw God's hand throughout this whole process. Endless, countless, amazing words and prayers were spoken over me....reminding me that mistakes happen and that those who truly know me and my heart, understand that I search for answers about Him. It's just what I do. I also realized how many people love me! That's ALWAYS a good thing! To my amazing friends who I have so much respect, love and gratitude for, here's a shout out to you: Stacey, Jennifer A., Anna, Cathy, Terri, Robin, Darlene, Dottie, Crissie, Beth, my mom, aunt Sandra, cousin Georgia, Jacqueline, Kristi, Pat, Melissa, Jennifer G., and countless of others to whom I felt I owed an apology to for bringing them into this awkward situation. You inspire me beyond belief! You breathed life and love into my spirit the last couple of days which I can honestly say was the BEST thing that could have happened to me! Thank you doesn't even begin to express my gratitude!

Regarding my email...well, I am not ashamed about it. For those of you who know my heart (and apparently most do), you know that I was in no way, shape or form, trying to imply that I want something tragic to happen to anyone. What I do know is this: God's ways and thoughts are not ours. I don't believe in coincidences; so therefore, I search for answers as to why things happen; not just blow them off as random circumstance. I search the bible and what His word says about His ways. I ask people whom I trust to help me understand Him and His ways. I am not ashamed of that. And most importantly, God isn't ashamed of me, but is so happy that I look for answers about Him. I also know that God sometimes allows trials to bring us closer to Him.

For those who were upset that you received my email, I am truly sorry. I am not sorry for my email, but I am sorry that I accidentally sent it to you. That is a mistake I hope I never make again. But guess what? I will make another blunder because I am an imperfect, flawed person. So if I do, please forgive me in advance. Please try to understand the true intentions of my heart and give me the benefit of the doubt. I promise, I will do the same for you. I love you, sweet ones, and NEVER want to cause you pain! There are no hard feelings on my part.

Lastly, the most important thing about this trial was: we all prayed fervently for the Haitans. Isn't that what God really wanted to happen? His glory was revealed in the end.

A Mother's Love

2009-12-26T21:59:00.003-06:00

One of the hardest thing about being a parent is having to walk with your children during their hurts. Whether it's nursing them back to physical health, or mending their spirit through a heart ache, it's a painful process. When they hurt, I hurt. Motherhood truly keeps me on my knees and humble before the Lord!

My mother has always been my best champion. No matter what my pain is, whether physical or emotional, I've always run to my mom to nurse me back to health. When I was a little girl, I loved listening to my mother's fervent prayers. I still do. At 41 years of age, the little girl inside me still needs her to cheer me on, pray for me or mourn with me while my heart breaks. It's just what most moms do....or, more specifically, it's what she does. What an amazing blessing that I know I take for granted!

The last three years I have been on a spiritual quest. At 38, I finally found the Lord of my childhood, but it hasn't been an easy road. Walking in the spirit but living in this world can be challenging....and heart breaking at times. At the end of the day, though, I know that it's my mother's early teachings, her fervent prayers and her unconditional love for me that ultimately helped me see God's true face.

What an amazing influence we mothers have on our children's lives! How incredibly important it is that we get it right...because one day they may need to see God's face through our unconditional love for them.

Since it's the day after Christmas, I can't help but think of the ultimate mother...Mary. What incredible heartache she endured being the mother of Jesus. Unfathomable, unspeakable heartache...even though she knew the outcome was for good, her mother's heart had to have been broken many times. Even Jesus, dying on the cross, worried about his mother's emotional pain. He hurt because she hurt. True love is like that, though. It's not always carefree and easy; sometimes there is tremendous pain involved; sometimes there is sacrifice and selflessness, but that's what makes it real.

While You Were Sleeping

2009-12-23T15:15:00.003-06:00

Casting Crowns has an amazing song called "While You Were Sleeping" that I just added to my play list. Gosh, this song has so stirred my spirit this Christmas season. I never intentionally set out to be so self-absorbed that I miss Him...and yet, ashamedly, I must confess, lately I have missed His true message for me. I have allowed outside circumstances to take away my joy instead of realizing who I am and to whom I belong! I have given into anxiety, raw emotions and worry. After slumbering in my flesh, I have finally opened my ears to hear Him. Really hear Him. You see, He never yells or screams but whispers softly. Until I can get me (or the world) out of my head, it's the only voice I can hear. Thankfully, I'm not asleep anymore and He isn't silent! Thank you, Lord, for awakening my spirit through this song.

This is what He tells me: "Do you know how much I love you? Do you know that you were bought with a price? Do you know to whom you belong? You belong to: The King of Kings, the Prince of Peace, the Almighty God! Why do you slumber in your flesh? Don't stay asleep, Tyra. Open your spiritual ears to hear my sweet, gentle voice. The Holy Spirit never leaves you; He is as close as the air you breathe. You are not alone. Cast your cares on Me, my sweet girl. I love you...not because of who you are but because of who I am. Nothing...NOTHING can separate my love for you."

What is He saying to you? Do you need to get the world out of your head so you can hear Him? Don't slumber and miss the message He has for you. Allow Him to love on you...it's just what He does and who He is! It's ALL good....

Thankfulness

2009-11-25T23:22:00.003-06:00

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. What an amazing time of reflection to count one's blessings! It warms my heart to think that for one day, we, as a Nation, can stop our busy lives, join together and say "I'm thankful." That is a TRUE reason to celebrate!

I sometimes wonder if the Lord gets so tired of our grumbling; of our complaining; of our ungratefulness. I know as a parent, it's tiresome when I hear ungratefulness from my children. I feel ashamed when I "hear" it from me. Even though my life is far from perfect it's still...so blessed. It's worthy of my gratitude. So...here are my thankful for's:

My Lord...for He has taught me what true love really is.
My husband...for the amazing man he is. He puts up with me! :)
My children...for the way they make me laugh every day.
My mother...for her unconditional love that I know I take for granted!
My relatives...for the memories and life that we have shared.
My health...for the miraculous way God made our bodies.
My friends...for the truly amazing and wonderful women that God has hand-picked just for me!
My home...for it's warmth, coziness and beauty.
My memories...for reflection. Life IS the memories we make...I love making good ones.
My travels...for it's my passion. I LOVE traveling. God always provides a way for me to!
My music...for it's always been my secret desire to be a singer, and in my fantasy world, I'm a good one!
My future...for I know the plans He has for me are good!
My life...for even though I look forward to heaven, I am thankful for this life He has given me.

Dear Lord, thank you for loving me even when I'm unlovable. Thank you for knowing the desires of my heart and caring enough to bless me...even when I don't deserve it. Thank you for turning my sorrow into joy and my pain into gladness! Thank you for never leaving me nor forsaking me....even when I have forsaken you. Thank you for writing on my heart that ALL your plans for me are GOOD! I praise you, Father, for YOU are good! Your blessings are extravagant and your mercies and graces are forever. You are love! I am thankful to be your daughter.

Oh...and I'm also thankful that on Thanksgiving, big thighs are a good thing! :)

My songs

2009-10-04T01:30:00.005-05:00

I know, I'm lame. Slowly but surely I am learning new tools to jazz up my blog. Finally, I figured out how to add music, and I'm so excited! A few years ago I discovered the David Crowder Band, and I have to tell you, they really minister to me! Plus, I just adore his voice. What an anointing and blessing to be able to speak into people's lives with music.

The first song on my play list is "How He Love Us" and I passionately believe this is the true testimony of Christians. If we can just remember His love, above everything, nothing else matters; right? Then the second one is "Who Am I?" by Casting Crowns. This reminds me to be humble; after all, who am I that the God of the universe cares to know my name?

Each song is my anthem that gets me through the day and carries me to His throne. I am so thankful for the blessings of these songs.

Confessions of a Mad Housewife

2009-10-01T21:18:00.002-05:00

I must confess. Yesterday I had a melt-down. You know, the kind where you just lose it over nothing earth-shattering or life-altering; just one more thing added to your to-do list while the kids are screaming and the dog is barking and the phone is ringing and the dinner is burning... For me, it was the printer. It was just the last straw in another battle of the wills that I had no control over. I just wanted it to print. I thought when we bought a printer that that is what it was created to do: print.

I checked all the major components: Paper tray: full, black ink: brand new, power light: on...the basic needs of the printer were met, and yet, it would not print. The warning message flashed "refill the color ink", but I didn't have or need color ink. I wasn't asking for much; just plain, boring, black and white. Unfortunately, it was not going to print ANYTHING until the color ink cartridge was fully loaded.

"I DON'T NEED COLOR!" I yelled and pulled my hair. It did nothing. Crying didn't help either; I tried that too.

My family didn't understand my melt-down. Really, how could it be explained? I am constantly telling my children to not cry over "spilled milk" so how could I explain my tears of frustration over a printer? As goofy as it sounds, I needed to throw a tantrum. My system was on overload and it was either tears or profanity...or both. I apologized profusely after it was over, but it felt cathartic and cleansing, like a purging of the days' offenses being washed away by my tears.

However, as good as it feels to purge, I'm always left with a nagging feeling that one of these days, in the not-so-far-off future, my boys will be laying on a couch in a sterile office describing their mother's crying melt-downs to a head doctor while he reveals the real reason they can't cry at Hallmark commercials: "It's all your mother's fault!"

So much for tantrums.

A Love that Never Ends

2009-09-25T00:01:00.004-05:00

I wonder how many people have truly experienced an unwavering, unending and unconditional love? People hurt, people dissappoint, people break your heart and/or break their promises. I'm so in awe of God's unfailing love. He has never abandoned me; never broken His promises; His loves continues whether I am deserving of it or not (and I'm not, by the way). He wooes me to bask in His love. I am His. Girls, do you realize how freeing that is?

Today in Life Group we were asked to articulate what the Lord means to us. WOW! How do you put that into words? Woman after woman shared their hearts on God's unending and unfailing love. Basically, God's girls say: He is enough. It doesn't matter if we are tall, short, thin, plump, pretty, plain; He thinks we are special. The world may say we don't measure up, but it just doesn't matter. He is enough. We are desperate for Him; we hunger for His precious Holy Spirit; He fills us up. He is our daily bread.

So to all the broken-hearted women who feel useless or used up, seek His love. He is waiting for you. He is enough and His love never ends.

Just sit on the pot

2009-08-26T18:43:00.007-05:00

Last Thursday, Aidan awoke me at 4 am complaining of stomach pains. Like any mom of three, I assumed it was nothing and agreed to lay with him while he fell back to sleep. Two hours later, Rod and he were on their way to the emergency room. This felt like deja vu as Aidan has complained and gone to the e.r. before only to discover he needed to pass gas. That was a pretty costly toot.

As Rod pulled up to the e.r., he noticed that Aidan was quiet and calm in his car seat. Rod asked him again if he was sure this wasn't another episode of him just needing to fart. "Dad," he mocked, "I was just being tough." He insisted he was still hurting. Thirty minutes later, after having to wait in a hospital room unseen, Aidan announced: "Let's get out of here, Dad. I just want to go home. It's taking too long." he whined.

After a once over by the e.r. doc on duty, Rod calls me and announces that Aidan has a hernia and needs surgery at Cook's Childrens' Hospital in Ft. Worth. They are coming to get me so I can ride with them. It sounded so serious, but it also didn't feel right. The doctor didn't even take x-rays. After years of watching George Clooney on the tube, I knew that was the first thing a physician should do.

Arriving at Cook's, a female e.r. doc immediately assessed the situation, and within seconds said it wasn't a hernia, but his bladder that was distended. After x-rays were taken (I knew George was right), the problem seemed to be with a huge amount of stool backed-up in his colon that was pressing on his bladder, which was keeping him from urinating. My poor little guy! He was full of crap, literally.

This week we found ourselves back at the doctor's office but this time with our trusted and beloved pediatrician. A day after the e.r. episodes, Aidan had a 102 fever, vomiting and lethargy. Was this all because of the poop or did he pick up a virus in the e.r.? Finally it was decided. An enema was to be performed. Have you tried to do an enema on a four-year-old? Let me just say, it ain't pretty.

So all of this poop business has left me thinking that my favorite comedian, Tim Hawkins, is right: it all boils down to poop. In his act, he makes fun of his southern mother who's remedy for all that ails a person is...to sit on the pot.

Mom: "Just sit on the pot, and you will feel fantastic."
Kid: "But mom, I think I broke my leg"
Mom: "Just sit on the pot!"

Happenings

2009-08-02T23:53:00.004-05:00

Wow...it's been awhile since I've written. What can I say? Summer is a beating. Being a person who thrives on a schedule (not to mention a slightly neurotic only-child), the spontaneity of Summer and the abundance of rowdy boys really throws off my balance. I'm comforted by the fact that I'm on the last leg of Summer bliss, and soon my normal routine will restore my equilibrium...or so I'm hoping.

As much as I like to complain about Summer, there have been many wonderful days spent enjoying being lazy and swimming with the boys and friends; Rod and I went on a 5-day, 4 night Jamaican trip, mon; and we got a lot of house projects taken care of. Not too shabby!

Oh, and Andrew lost his first tooth....all is right with the Universe.

Marriage Warfare

2009-06-24T22:56:00.006-05:00

I'm disappointed, and admittedly, angry, confused and saddened. I have few answers to my complicated questions: How does love turn to hate? How does commitment and long-suffering suddenly become replaced with infidelity, betrayal and divorce? Marriage has become such a trivial joke that I fear the next generation won't have a clue what it's really about. Or perhaps it will become obsolete altogether; I mean after all, what is the point of taking vows to love and cherish when the majority only mean unless things get tough...then I'm outta here!

For the past few months I've been shocked. More and more married couples with young children are splitting up. Lately, it's been stories about the cheating husband with the live-in nanny (that doesn't even speak English), or the one who runs off to the Caribbean with his new girlfriend, all of whom leave their wives and children behind to pick up the pieces of their shattered lives. It's not always the husband, since apparently, the latest trend is housewives suddenly deciding they are gay and leaving their families for Susie down the street. And each time, my heart breaks. Surely they know what statistics say about children of divorce. Surely, they realize how selfish, callous and cruel their actions are. Surely, it keeps them up at night.

But more importantly, where is the outrage? Other than a befuddled shake of the head and a good gossip session, there doesn't seem to be any. Another broken family; what else is new? Yawn.

Now, with every tabloid and entertainment show announcing the pending divorce of Jon and Kate (plus 8), I'm disgusted. I've followed the show for years and even read Kate's book. I loved the Christian values and dependency on God they seemed to have. Yes, Kate could be controlling and bitchy at times; yes, Jon could be a clueless doormat at times, but that was okay because they were in it for the long haul. For better or worse. After all, they have EIGHT souls depending on that; right?

Although I truly wish each person good will, I hope their show is cancelled. I hope they are so humiliated and humbled that they lie on their faces broken before Him. After being stripped of their pride, perhaps then, will they be able to hear His voice. My prayer is that they can. My prayer is that they will take up their armour and fight...not like a sissy...but a warrior that belongs to the Great I Am. My prayer is that they stand on the truth of His word and defeat the enemy.

I don't have a perfect marriage by ANY stretch of the imagination...and at times, it's still a work in progress...BUT my best moments are when Jesus heals my brokenness. My best moments are when I put my husband first. My best moments are when I actually make the words of the bible be a living testimony. My best moments are because of who He is, not who I am.

Even though they will never know it, a mighty 5 foot tall warrior is praying for the families and marriages of America. The battle WILL be won!

Brotherly Love

2009-06-19T14:45:00.003-05:00

Since I was raised an only child and missed the wonderful world of "sibling rivalry", I am constantly baffled by the fighting and hateful words that my children use towards one another. In an effort to have a kinder and gentler environment, I've been trying to encourage the boys to use more positive, sweet and nice words with one another. Perhaps they are taking it a bit too far.

As we are driving to camp a few days ago, Andrew announces from the back seat, "Hey, sorry, guys...I just tooted." Alex yells from the front seat, "Gross, that STINKS!" Aidan, remembering my pep-talk on brotherly love, proclaims from his car seat, "Oh, I think it smells good, Andrew!" Andrew says sweetly, "Thank you, Aidan." I roll down the car windows in disgust. Complimenting each other on their gassy explosions was not what I had in mind.

Even as I am writing this, I am once again confronted with the painful fact that my words are spoken in vain. As Andrew and Aidan are playing Lego's, each one is excitedly showing me their new creations. I appropriately ooh and awe over the little blocks of plastic that are supposed to resemble a castle or an airplane. "Do you like it, Mommy?" Andrew asks. "Oh, yes!" I reply enthusiastically. "Do you like mine?" Aidan asks curiously. "No, it's weird." Andrew remarks before I can say anything. Aidan is crushed and I am baffled. I want to shake him and yell, "This is the boy who even likes the smell of your farts, for crying out loud, can't you at least like his stupid Lego airplane?!" So much for brotherly love.

Strawberry Pancakes

2009-05-25T23:13:00.006-05:00

So many wonderful events have taken place since I last wrote. I attended Ronald's graduation from high school in Tampa, I picked out new appliances for our kitchen, I've been fishing and boating at my in-laws' lake house and, of course, I celebrated a marvelous Mother's Day.

Since Alex is an early riser, he was the first boy to greet me and wish me a fabulous day...and to my delight, surprise me with breakfast in bed! Even though I would have preferred to sleep in a little, he decided that 6:30 would be just the right time to surprise me with strawberry pancakes and orange juice! He even put the cards he and his cohorts had made on the tray for me to read at my leisure. What a sweetie! I think he might make a good husband someday....or a good chef at Denny's...you never know.

The cards are my favorite because they always make me laugh. According to Andrew, my favorite thing to do is blog and sleep, and Alex graciously commented on my youthful 29 years of age, while Aidan made me a blue hand print and drew a likeness of me sans the neck. Rod sent me roses from he and the boys...but Andrew insisted he knew nothing about it...and asked if I had a boyfriend. He was really confused when I told him it was daddy. We had brunch at our favorite kid-friendly restaurant with our mothers and laughed and shared our day together. It was perfect. What a privilege it is to be a mother; I hope I never take it for granted.

Of course, summer is fast approaching and I'll have to re-read this blog to remind myself that motherhood really is a blessing and not a curse. When I feel my nerves being frazzled to the core, I'll have to repeat my new mantra: "Strawberry pancakes. Strawberry pancakes. Strawberry pancakes." I will either gain 10 pounds or be a much sweeter and gentler mom...time will only tell.

If I Can Make It Here...I Can Make It Anywhere!

2009-05-01T01:43:00.004-05:00

I just returned from the city that never sleeps, and as it turns out, neither did I. A whirlwind of a trip with my 3 traveling companions, childhood friends that I reconnected with on Face Book, has left my body feeling much older than it's 40 years. I have never been so jetlagged...hmmmmm....the swine flu, perhaps? But I digress.... Anyway, it was a trip full of laughter; especially in the wee hours of the night, which was so good for the soul (but not my bladder). If you've had children, you understand; right? It was also a trip of sadness as we comforted our friend whose father unexpectedly passed away the night we arrived in NY. It was a trip of reconnection and nostalgia and funny stories. A trip that will always hold cherished memories, inside jokes (What's that smell? It's New Jersey and Those aren't your abs!) and life-changing events. It was a chance to be young, carefree and silly again!

Yes, after 4 busy, fun-filled days and 3 sleepless nights, I can honestly say..."If I can make it here, I can make it anywhere!" Thanks, girls for inviting me! I had the time of my life. When is our next trip?

Experience Beauty

2009-04-22T00:27:00.003-05:00

These past few days in Texas have been unusually beautiful. It is the kind of weather where one just wants to bask in the glorious sunshine, fill the lungs with fresh air and smile. The earth is bursting with delicate flowers from seeds planted month's ago. It's as if God is granting us a tiny glimpse of His paradise; not just on occasional Spring days, but every day, forever and ever...and ever! How gracious and merciful is He that even among the thorns, a perfect rose blooms. I know I couldn't bear life's cruel hardness without the beauty to keep me going. I want to be thankful for these simple, yet miraculous, pleasures of life. I want to be still and experience beauty. Really experience it.

I'm reminded of Romans 8:28: "All things work together for good for those who love the Lord." Even during the cruelness and unfairness of life, ALL things work together for good. I love that! Believers aren't immune to hard times, yet we have the comforting assurance that God is walking with us through the storm. He will work it ALL out for good...if not only to glorify Him, because, after all, He placed the roses among the thorns.

To friends battling cancer: The war you are facing is heavy. Don't grow weary but praise Him for what is yet to come. Put on your spiritual armour and fight knowing His blood is covering you.

To a single mom whose husband is in prison: Lean on His strength to carry you through this difficult season. Cry on His shoulder, then wipe away your tears and stand on the truth of His promises.

To all the Americans who have lost their jobs: Strip away your pride until your heart is naked before Him. Do not worry about tomorrow but cast your cares on Him. He is the Master of your finances.

To loved-one's suffering from depression: Open your weary eyes and search for Him. He is there, crying with you and washing your feet. Take His hand and walk beside the Prince of Peace....for His burden is light and His yoke is easy. Share this love with another, and your pain will be gone.

To anyone who is reading this: Experience the beauty He has graciously, lovingly and thoughtfully given you. You are loved. Bask in that knowledge.

Healing

2009-04-09T06:25:00.005-05:00

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Rod had knee surgery on Tuesday, (remember the ski trip?...yeah, torn ACL on the first day) and watching him go through the process of recovery made me realize that healing wounds (emotional or physical) become the hardest part of the journey. After three C-sections and a very painful tummy-tuck in less than a decade, I am no stranger to the agonizing, frustrating and slow process of healing. Although brutal at the time, the mind somehow forgets the pain; the body heals and scars fade. Ironically, physical pain, once gone, is easy to forget...but emotional pain somehow lingers and can, if not dealt with, grow even more caustic. Wounds of the heart penetrate deeper. Perhaps this is why God tells us to guard our hearts; He knows the consequences are costly.

Watching my husband get prepped for surgery took me back all those years ago when my own father, at age 42, was about to become the first heart transplant recipient in the state of Florida. The hospital was buzzing with excitement, fear, ambivalence (there were protesters outside chanting ignorance) and the media was alert and ready to record it all. At 16, and too immature to really understand the enormity of it all, I felt more like a spectator than a participant....like somehow, it wasn't real and I would wake up from a dream. I can only imagine how my father felt. He was only 42 and this was his only hope for survival. WOW! That age, at the time, didn't seem so young...but now, it seems devastatingly so.

Without my Jesus, I don't know how a person could get through it...and he wasn't a believer! However, the most precious moment I had with my father was right before he went into the operating room. With tears flowing down my cheeks, I took my father's hand, bent down close to his ear, and asked him to recite a prayer of salvation. Looking back, he was heavily sedated and probably had no idea what he was even saying, but for a young, scared girl, I needed to know his heart was right with the Lord. His heart. Although, most organs in the human body are necessary for our survival, none is more important than the heart. To me, it's where our soul is. I wanted this new heart to not only be vital in keeping him alive, but also receptive to the Lord. Although I'll never really know, until my death, if my father accepted Christ that day, I do affirm his heart was more tender to receiving Him after that. After all, it has taken me this long to really know Him and I have essentially believed all my life. Hard-headedness truly runs deep in our veins!

So...here's to Rod healing physically and spiritually. With God's mercy and grace, both will be mended to and in His timely will.

Where the Heart Is

2009-04-01T08:15:00.004-05:00

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The Lord says he doesn't look at one's outward appearance, but at the heart. He isn't looking for a perfect person, but rather, what character and intentions lie beneath the facade. To me, it is so important that My God knows my heart, and He is pleased with what he sees. I want to instill this God-awareness in my children, and hopefully, raise men of integrity. As I tuck them in at night, my prayers are for them to never cause the Holy Spirit sorrow by the wrong intentions of their hearts. Then, the Lord revealed to me that my prayers are indeed being heard and answered.

The other day Alex came home and told me he got a "good citizen" sticker while in the cafeteria. Which means, if a teacher notices good deeds or random acts of kindness towards another person, she rewards the child with this sticker of praise. He went on to explain how he noticed a boy sitting by himself in the cafeteria and raised his hand to ask a teacher if he could move to sit by him. (They aren't allowed to move once they are seated. ) The teacher said to wait and if after everyone made it through the lunch line, the boy was still alone, he could move. He waited and watched; no one sat by the boy. Alex got up, packed up his lunch, moved away from his comfort-zone of friends, and sat by the lonely boy. After listening to his story, I just stared at my 8-year-old in disbelief. How could he, at such a young age, already have more character than most adults I know? I embraced him, kissed his little cheeks and stared into his hazel eyes. "You are a boy after God's heart; I have never been so proud," I said. "Most importantly, God is proud."

Realizing that God hand-picked me to be these boys' mother seems, at times, to be a daunting task. My confidence sometimes waivers...what if I'm not apt enough? After all, I'm too impatient, too self-fish, too inexperienced...but then I remember David. A lowly Shepard boy, whom God hand-picked to be the King of Israel; not because of what he was, but who he was. WOW! Thankfully, my heart knows to whom I belong...humbly, His servant. I am up to the task indeed! I am HIS.

Home On The Range

2009-03-23T08:19:00.004-05:00

Our family just returned from a Dude Ranch vacation in Bandera, Tx. Cowboy hill country, to be more exact. There is something inside of me that longs for this way of life. I'm not sure if it's the simplicity and natural order of things that has my heart longing for the country pastures, or if it's just the Texas blood running deep through my veins, but whatever it is, I feel strangely at home on the range.

I love the politeness and strong, yet gentle, manner of the cowboy. I love the intoxicating aroma and warmth of the campfire that invites one "to take a load off and sit a spell." I love the sound of the clipity-clop of horses' hooves trotting on the trail. The amazing feeling of riding on one of God's greatest creatures and realizing the enormous strength and beauty of this animal. The sound of the mealtime bell clanging in the air, inviting all of us to partake in the necessary ritual of replenishing our hungry bellies. The home cooked goodness of comfort food that brings on the uncanny desire for a mid-afternoon nap in a swaying hammock. Awe...the joys of country living leaves me longing for all it's simple pleasures.

The boys seemed completely at home as they took to catfish fishing like they were born to fish...something we never do...and yet, it seemed as familiar as breathing; like they had done it a million times before. Yes, I could see my little cowboys being quite at home in God's country. The smoke from their cap guns penetrating the fresh air still lingers in my nose even now, as I think back on our trip. We created cherished memories to be filed away in the corners of our minds, and remembered in the stillness of our days.

Goodbye Dixie Dude Ranch, until we meet again. I will think of you fondly.

Run For My Life!

2009-03-14T07:45:00.004-05:00

My middle son, Andrew, who is 6, is the comedian of the family. Most of the time, he's not trying to be funny, he just is...which is what we love about him. He's our social butterfly and never-meets-a-stranger kind of guy. He's a compassionate lover of all animals. He is unique...for a better lack of words.

Like most families, we want to instill a sense of responsibility, moral and ethical values and problem-solving capabilities in our children. We have this game that we sometimes play at dinner where we take turns choosing a card with a question, riddle or activity for us to do as a family. One particular evening, we chose a card that posed this ethical question: "What would you do, if while parking your vehicle in a parking garage, you accidentally hit the car next to you?" We decided Andrew would answer this question first. I could see the wheels turning in his 6-year old brain as he furrowed his brow and bit his bottom lip. Like any proud mom, I was anxiously awaiting a thoughtful and morally-sound answer. After all, we had taught him to be an upstanding guy who takes responsibility for his actions.

"I would...RUN FOR MY LIFE!" Andrew said emphatically. After Rod and I looked at each other in disbelief, we all started laughing. Quick to correct his judgment, we explained why and what the right answer was to this question. Being positive he had learned a valuable lesson and was now ready to answer this probing question, we asked: "Now, tell us again. What would you do?"

Without hesitating he said: "RUN FOR MY LIFE!"....like, duh, didn't you hear me the first time?

So, in ten years, if someone mysteriously bangs up your vehicle, please remember that we tried...and pray for us!

The Battle of the Sexes

2009-03-03T22:54:00.005-06:00

People are such interesting creatures. As modern and sophisticated as one likes to assume they are in the 21st century, it all boils down to the vast innate differences between men and women. Although I fully embrace my female gender as miraculous, capable, intelligent and strong creatures, I am not a feminist (I wear too much makeup and fix my hair for that title). However, since I've been out of the work force for almost 9 years, and my companions consist mostly of other moms and little boys, I have witnessed a quirky disposition to my female foe.

It all began when my husband started taking guy trips several years ago with a group of friends he went to college with. (He is currently on a ski trip in Colorado with 8 other men.) The odd reaction I get when I tell my female friends where he is ranges anywhere from anger, resentment, accusatory to "how-are-you-going-to-get-even-with-him" type of attitude. The weird thing is, it has taken me about 10 years to figure this out. I want to thank Chris Rock for opening my eyes.

One night, when I couldn't sleep, I came across a late night cable comedy show by Chris Rock. Trying to put aside his vulgarity, I found myself drawn into his routine about the differences between men and women. It goes something like this (without the f-word):

Chris Rock: "Why is it, men, when your lady wants to go out with her friends, you are so happy for her? She comes home and says, 'Baby, we had the best time! We got our nails down and then went shopping and I got this adorable purse. Then we saw that new movie with Brad Pitt and we all cried...blah, blah, blah' and you are genuinely HAPPY for her! BUT if you go out with YOUR friends, don't you DARE come home and say you had a good time! NO, NO, NO! If she thinks you had ANY fun without HER, you can just kiss sex GOODBYE fellas! If she asks...LIE! Don't you EVER come home and say...'Oh, it was great! It was the best game I think I've ever been too...we had the best seats...it was the bottom of the 9th, all the bases were loaded and A-Rod hits it out of the park...'. No, fellas, you can't do that! You get up the next morning, thinking everything is cool; you ask your woman for breakfast and she says, 'Why don't you ask A-Rod to make your breakfast!' "

Now, of course, Chris Rock is a comedian and he gets paid an extremely large amount of money to make jokes...but it got me thinking...what he said was TRUE. Women DO have a problem with their man going out without them and having a good time. Even worse: a trip! I mean the NERVE! I have friends that have actually said to me, "Well, MY husband would never go on a trip without me." or "Well, when is YOUR girl trip?" or "When is he going to take YOU to the mountains?" It's actually quite comical because most of these women consider themselves to be feminists. Hmmmm...what does the word equality mean, ladies?

Here's the honest truth: I'm not the jealous type and I fully trust my husband. Plus, I'm not afraid of him having fun without me. I've gone on plenty of girl trips and girl dates without him, and you know what? He WAS happy for me. My whole hang-up all these years has been my own gender trying to make me feel like I should be angry, jealous or hurt. Mostly, I was just more concerned about being able to handle the kids on my own for 5 days, not that he might have a good time without me. So, here's to you, honey! If you are reading this, I hope you have a wonderful time! If anyone is deserving of a little fun and relaxation, it's you. HAVE FUN! And I promise, I won't make you suffer for it....I'll even make you breakfast! :)

Laying it Down and Running

2009-02-20T15:36:00.004-06:00

My faith teaches me to lay down my burdens and cast my cares on Him. At times, this is the hardest part of the process for me. My flesh wants to hang onto those cares that weigh me down like an unhealthy love/hate relationship. It's a constant battle of the wills, and at times, it can be exhausting. Flesh and spirit battling each other for the win. However, ultimately, the war brings me closer to Him. During those times, I sing a beautiful song to myself, close my eyes, and picture myself running and running up, up, up this huge green mountain that takes me to the clouds.

"I hear the voice...the voice of the one I love
He's calling my name (Tyra)
He's saying...

Come up higher...hear the angles sing
Come up higher....my beloved
Come up higher...leave your cares behind
You'll find me to be beautiful...

I am running....running after You
You've become my soul's delight
I am running...running after You
Here with you I've found my life"

Tears fill my eyes and run down my cheeks. I am loved; I am cherished; I am His. His love is overwhelming, and even though I'm so undeserving, he takes that burden and lays it at His feet. I am free and light as a feather.

What an awesome God I serve! Run to Him and lay it down. You will find Him to be beautiful....

Say It Isn't So...

2009-02-06T21:14:00.004-06:00

The annoying part of growing older, I am convinced, is the fact that a young person is still living inside my older body...taunting me! You see, the younger, slimmer and perkier version of myself is screaming to come out, but the older, fatter and tired version is trying to shut her up with a glass of wine, or a brownie, depending upon my mood. I've also discovered that denial has become my new best friend since all full-length mirrors are now banned from my view. If I can't see those dimpled thighs, then they don't exist; right? Shhh...

How did this happen? I woke up one morning and suddenly had to worry that my butt was getting too big! What? Huh? Who me? My sons are now jointly singing "I like big butts and I cannot lie" as they use my robust derriere as a bongo to keep the beat. I defend myself by proudly stating that in some cultures, big booties are considered beautiful. They laugh and laugh. Apparently, I'm funny. Meanwhile, hubby goes into hiding and pleads the 5th while my tormentors continue with their rendition of "Fat Bottom Girls Make the World Go Round." My alter-image 28-year old just smiles at those silly boys...what do they know? Humpft! "DON'T MAKE ME SIT ON YOU, YOU SKINNY WEAKLINGS!" she yells.

However, at the end of the day, when the house is silent and I'm left with my own torturous thoughts, I finally admit: perhaps my love affair with all things chocolate and gooey has finally come to an end. I am now a grown-up. I am officially...on a diet. But don't tell my alter-ego; she still thinks we look hot. Shhh....

MLK, Jr...and a 2nd grader

2009-01-22T23:10:00.002-06:00

My son, Alex, loves Social Studies. It's his favorite subject in school, and he especially loves American History and studying about American Heroes. The Friday before the MLK, Jr. school holiday, his class watched a documentary on the Civil Rights Movement and the impact of this American Hero's influence on our history. Before Alex could even get buckled in the back seat of our van, he started telling me about the documentary and how touching it was.

"Mom" he said, "you wouldn't believe how they used to treat black people." A part of me was sad that his innocence was gone; he now knew that the world is not color blind. "It was very touching," he continued "I sort of got tears in my eyes." Our talk about racism continued as well as discussing what kind of hero MLK, Jr. was. Then he asked, "Mom, isn't it a good thing that we now have a black president?"

After a deliberate hiatus of not talking about, watching or listening to any commentary on politics, I was somewhat reluctant to go down this path. Not to mention that trying to explain the complexities of politics to an eight year seemed like such a daunting task. Our dialogue went something like this:

Me: "Yes, yes. Absolutely. It's a wonderful thing that we have a black president. However, he's actually called bi-racial. His mother was white and his father was black...but he is a man of color. A lot of black people said that they never thought they would live to see it. I am very proud that our country has come this far in being color-blind, unfortunately, he's on the wrong side of the issues."

Alex: "But you didn't want him to be president, right?"

Me: "Not because of his skin color, honey. I don't vote for someone based on their skin color or what gender they are. I disagree with many issues that he stands for, that's all."

Alex: "Like what?"

Me: "Abortion for one."

Alex: "What is that?"

Me: "It is when a woman can terminate or abort her pregnancy."

Alex: "Huh? Kill a baby?"

Me: "Well...essentially, yes."

Alex being thoughtful for a few seconds. "What is a PhD?"

Me wondering where this is going..."Uh...a doctor of education in the field that they are studying."

Alex: "Martin Luther King, Jr was a PhD. I think he liked history, like me. I checked out a different book on him at the library."

Me: "Oh, good."

Alex: "So if Obama was not for killing babies, you would like him?"

Me: "Oh, honey, it's more complicated than that. And for the record, I don't dislike him as a person, just his politics. God says to pray for our leaders and I will pray for him and hope that he chooses the right path God has for him."

Alex: "Okay. Our teacher says not to say anything bad about the president; it's disrespectful."

Me: "I agree with her; she's right. We should lift him up...but Alex, Obama and MLK, Jr are different men with different philosophies. They share similar skin colors but their views on certain issues are different. I consider MLK, Jr a hero. Obama hasn't done anything in my mind to make him a hero yet. Hopefully, he will."

Now we are home and our conversation is over. Free time before homework and reading has become his new priority. Several days later, since the kids were off from school, they watched the inaugural ceremony with me...and even though Obama and I are on different sides of the fence, I did feel proud for him that as a man of color, he made history that day. As Rick Warren prayed, I felt the Lord stirring in my spirit..."Lift him up to Me in your prayers. Pray for wisdom. Pray for guidance. Pray for strength. Pray for his protection. Pray for his precious daughters."

Today in my bible study, an amazing woman of God spoke these words: "We are a country divided on issues. Issues aren't the problem. Once Jesus becomes the priority, issues resolve themselves. Stop praying about the issues but pray that God will reveal himself to each man. Pray for salvation because that is the most important issue of all." Amen! I suppose that's what Martin Luther King, Jr., would have spoken over us as well.

A New Beginning

2009-01-11T22:50:00.006-06:00

Welcoming in the 2009 New Year, and reflecting upon the main events of last year, I soon realized how blessed I am. As a person who tends to wallow in an endless sea of regrets and who is quite often displeased with herself, even I had to admit: I am blessed.

Why? I am not famous, nor enormously wealthy; I haven't solved any of life's major problems; I haven't accomplished even half of the things I thought I should have by now. I don't have an Olympic gold medal or a Bestselling Novel and nobody has ever asked me for my autograph (even though I perfected my signature as a preteen). My life is fairly simple and relatively drama-free...so what makes it so special or blessed? So often it's just the little things that I cherish the most. Such as: the way Aidan laughs, the smell of his little boyness as we cuddle and play match game for the millionth time. I love Alex's dimpled cheek (just one), his amazing memory and inquisitive mind, deep voice and slight lisp when he says "s". I adore Andrew's up-turned Papa-nose with a sprinkle of freckles laying across the bridge, his zest for life and his outgoing personality...he always has a "new best friend"....and his deep love for animals. I love our family dinners where we laugh and share about our day. I love the quiet stillness of the house as boys' slumber in their beds. I love kissing my husband's full lips and listening to his deep resonating voice and laugh. I love how the boys' adore him and use him as a jungle gym. I love how he makes us all feel safe and how he can fix anything! I love my morning coffee with French Vanilla cream; the way the morning sun peeks through the living room windows and casts a golden hue on the hardwood floors as I have my quiet time with God. I love that God reveals himself to me in so many little aspects as well as the big ones! I love that God cares about the little things and delites in our joy.

For all these things, I am grateful. I am blessed.

Who I Am

2008-12-02T17:08:00.003-06:00

THE BELL

I KNOW WHO I AM

I am God's child (John 1:12)

I am Christ's friend (John 15:15 )

I am united with the Lord (1 Cor. 6:17)

I am bought with a price (1 Cor 6:19-20)

I am a saint (set apart for God). (Eph. 1:1)

I am a personal witness of Christ. (Acts 1:8)

I am the salt & light of the earth (Matt 5:13-14)

I am a member of the body of Christ (1 Cor 12:27)

I am free forever from condemnation ( Rom. 8: 1-2)

I am a citizen of Heaven. I am significant (Phil 3:20)

I am free from any charge against me (Rom. 8:31 -34)

I am a minister of reconciliation for God (2 Cor 5:17-21)

I have access to God through the Holy Spirit (Eph. 2:18)

I am seated with Christ in the heavenly realms (Eph. 2:6)

I cannot be separated from the love of God (Rom 8:35-39)

I am established, anointed, sealed by God (2 Cor 1:21-22 )

I am assured all things work together for good (Rom. 8:28 )

I have been chosen and appointed to bear fruit (John 15:16 )

I may approach God with freedom and confidence (Eph. 3: 12 )

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Phil. 4:13)

I am the branch of the true vine, a channel of His life (John 15: 1-5)

I am God's temple (1 Cor. 3: 16).

I am complete in Christ (Col. 2: 10)

I am hidden with Christ in God (Col. 3:3)

I have been justified (Romans 5:1)

I am God's co-worker (1 Cor. 3:9; 2 Cor 6:1).

I am God's workmanship (Eph. 2:10)

I am confident that the good works God has begun in me will be perfected. (Phil. 1: 5)

I have been redeemed and forgiven ( Col 1:14).

I have been adopted as God's child (Eph 1:5)

I belong to God

Do you know who you are?

Opening old wounds...

2008-11-22T17:08:00.002-06:00

Technology is amazing! People from the past just suddenly reappear thanks to the invention of cyberspace! Recently, I just reconnected with a childhood friend on Facebook. Although it was so awesome to reminisce, it was also painful. This friend's mother was one of my mother's dearest friends and so we grew up together. Being three years older and a dorky kid, I always felt like an ugly duckling besides this beautiful, blue-eyed blond. Years later, two more sisters arrived and mimicked the older one's good looks. My mother and I always thought the blond-haired mom and her three mini-me's reminded us of a mama duck with her three ucklings...each one cuter than the next...following their mama home. Then tragedy struck...the mama duck was murdered and the three ducklings went to live with other relatives. To this day, that funeral was the most horrific and devastating one I'd ever been to...and my own father is deceased. I will never forget it.

As the story goes, my mother lost touch and we always wondered about the beautiful ducklings. Thanks to Facebook, I found the oldest duckling and made a connection. We have since spoken to each other 3 times! I am so happy to hear how the beautiful girls have found their way, their passion and their lives in California. Opening up old wounds this week has also led to some profound discoveries. Closure was needed to end this tragedy, but it desperately needed a happy one. I so despise sad endings! Thankfully, this story has both, and my old wounds are healing. The mama duckling is smiling from heaven, beckoning me with her spirit..."Love my girls", she whispers. "I will. I will." I answer. The End.

I Still Believe

2008-11-05T14:43:00.005-06:00

Today is November 5, 2008, and Obama will be America's new president in the coming year. I'm not necessarily shocked but deeply sad; America has clearly lost her way. Some friends and relatives I know cried; some were angry; some feel numb. I feel oddly at peace; perhaps the Holy Spirit's supernatural presence is preparing me for our next challenge. However, I am glad it's over. As I watched McCain's concession speech last night, I was so proud of the man he has proven himself to be. Initially, I wasn't a McCain fan, but in these last few months, I've grown to love the patriot and the leader that has served our country so unselfishly. His passion for the United States is genuine, and I think America missed a great opportunity to have a leader who would not only protect us but govern with integrity. And Sarah...wow; she gave me real hope. She took such a beating, and yet, never allowed the media hype to change who she was. I know the Lord's blessings and grace are covering her. I'm positive we haven't seen the last of "Esther for this time". All that being said, the Christians have a lot of work ahead of them, and I think our spiritual warfare has just begun.

Forgetting the spiritual ramifications for a minute...America has voted for a man who won't put his hand over his heart to salute the flag or sing the "Star Spangled Banner" because it denotes violence and the American Flag means oppression to some people. Huh? This is our new Commander in Chief? Wow, how sad for all the men and women who gave their lives for our freedom. Thankfully, Michelle Obama can now be proud of her country twice in her lifetime. Perhaps some can be happy that America chose "real change" over an American Hero, but I just can't. Is it just me or do you feel the media and Hollywood are subtly brainwashing the citizens of America? When the leftest media propaganda called Obama their "Messiah", God granted their wish....I keep hearing this phrase in my mind..."You asked for a Messiah...here he is. Good luck." Oh, have mercy, dear Lord. My boys will grow to be men someday. However, when my 8 year-old son kept asking me who would win, I always responded, "Whomever America deserves, honey." Since Obama won by a landslide, I think America got exactly what she deserved. Good luck, America; you are going to need it.

Fortunately, my world won't change much...not yet anyway. God's promises assures me that those who love Him will indeed be covered with his mercy, grace and strength. However, I am fully prepared to fight for and stand on the Truth that gives me hope.

I still believe in the perfect will of God. I still believe in the Lord's Sovereignty. I still believe that Jesus in the ONLY Messiah. I still believe in the Constitution of the United States. I still believe that only God can truly examine the motives of men's hearts and eventually, justice will prevail...in His time.

On a side note: My flesh wants to say that we should give Obama as much respect as the democrats gave George W. Bush, but my spirit says to pray for him. I suspect he will need it.

The Big One

2008-10-27T08:56:00.005-05:00

Something very strange has happened to me....I just turned 40. Gulp. I've moved into a new "age bracket" and have officially become an adult. Soon mammograms and colonoscopies will be on my "to do" list. How did this happen? Just yesterday I was a young woman in her 20's with plenty of time to worry about growing up. Even though I knew the inevitable milestone was just around the corner, I somehow managed to delude myself into believing that it couldn't happen to me. Two weeks later, as I ponder over 4 decades of living, I realize I'm still a girl on the inside. I keep trying to convince my metabolism and the wrinkles under my eyes of this, but so far they are acting like a 40-year-old.

Fortunately, I have grown wiser, stronger in spirit, more passionate and definitely more confident in who I am. This, I'm convinced, is the only good thing about aging...but like good cheese and wine, somethings only get better with age...or so I'm told.

Here are some things I've learned along my journey:

1. Living for today, while forgetting yesterday and worrying about tomorrow. God is the God of this moment and His plans for me are for now.
2. Be grateful for EVERYTHING.
3. Stay humble.
4. Love never fails. True love is loving someone more than yourself.
5. Accept people for who they are while realizing that we all struggle with some inner challenges.
6. Contentment and happiness are a choice because, after all, perception is reality.
7. Children are such a miracle and should be treated as such.
8. Guard and protect your heart, eyes and ears. Be careful that what is being fed to you will produce good fruit.
9. A good marriage is a blessing and should be handled with loving care.
10. Prayer works! God always answers: yes, no or wait. Be content with His decision.

So...I have grown up after all! I am blessed; I am grateful; I am loved...what more could I ask for?

I'm In Love With Fall

2008-10-19T17:14:00.002-05:00

My favorite season has blessed us with her presence....Fall! After many long hot days of sweltering heat, the cool, brisk air has finally settled on our land. I love being outdoors this time of year where I can actually fill my lungs with crisp, cool, fresh air. The month of October, to me, symbolizes the beginning of subtle changes: Change in the weather/climate, change in the wardrobe, change in my age (it's my birthday month) and change of my frame of mind. I feel more upbeat; more energized; more content.

The Northerners living here complain of lack of seasons, but I like the subtle differences Fall gives Texas. One morning I wake up with the covers under my chin and a couple of little boys snuggled against me because they woke up cold. "Oh," I think to myself, "It's time to pull out the jackets." The sun is still brilliantly shining but the crispness in the air is subtle...I can still wear my Capri pants and sandals but perhaps tug on a long sleeved shirt and carry a light jacket, just in case. This is the perfect weather for me.

So here's a toast to Texas Fall! I love you...I'm grateful for your presence and a little sad when you leave...but I will enjoy you immensely while you are here!

Andrew - My Funny Guy!

2008-10-08T15:56:00.004-05:00

This blog has become a diary of sorts of my thoughts; my days; my life; my story. I want to remember my boys' precious childhood even though I sometimes find myself wishing they would grow up! As I reminisce through their baby photos, I find myself wanting to squeeze and kiss those fat little cheeks and thighs...and I know that someday, I'll remember these days fondly too.

Andrew has always been our comedian. Since elementary school has officially started for him, he is always doing things to give us a laugh. For instance, trying to buy his lunch in the school cafeteria when I already packed him one. The problem was, he didn't have any money nor did he have any in his account. When I picked him up from school he very adamantly said, "Mom, why do I not have any money in my account? The cafeteria lady let me buy my lunch on a loan!" My response was to roll my eyes and try to jog his memory on the mornings' Q & A session of items he would take in his lunchbox. "Oh, I forgot." his added nonchalantly. The problem is, he has since done this twice! The cafeteria ladies probably think his poor parents can't afford to buy his lunch.

Another recent incident happened on the playground during recess. Apparently he and three other boys got into a confrontation. When I questioned him about what happened he said, "I tried to do all the right things, Mommy. I told them to stop. I tried to walk away, but then one of them hit my back and my temper lost." Needless-to-say, I don't think we will have to worry about Andrew being bullied. Hmmm....I wonder where he gets that from?

As a volunteer in his classroom on Tuesdays, during reading and tub time, I get a glimpse of what his day is like. His teacher announced one morning that since everyone has been in school for 5 weeks, she is expecting them to remember to turn in their red folder and blue book bag daily in the appropriate bins. She then proceeded to announce which children were not doing this. Andrew was one of them. They all had to turn in a "snap cube" as their punishment. The other children took this news well; Andrew did not. He immediately started crying, and while he pointed at me from across the room, he yelled, "It's all your fault!" Everyone looked at me while Andrew continued to carry on like a victim of the most heinous crime. I quietly knelt down in front of him and began to whisper how I'm not responsible for his duties at school. His punishment for me was the silent treatment, for which I was secretly thankful. At least he was being quiet.

Even though at times my little guy can sometimes be clueless and immature, he has a way of doing things that just make us laugh. Alex says he just knows Andrew will have his own comedy show someday...I mean, after all, how many boys on career day decide to dress up as Peter Pan? Only one...and that's my Andrew! I love you silly goose; you are one of a kind!

A Bitter Taste

2008-10-07T17:47:00.004-05:00

This election year has had me up in arms. With the arrival of Sarah Palin, as well as her unfair and hateful treatment by the media, I feel I'm on a battle field. Not to mention the fact that I'm having construction done in my house, and with all the dust and debris, I'm physically getting ill. I have had a headache everyday for a week, I'm coughing, and I have no bed to sleep in. The combination has left me feeling very drained and tired.

Tonight is another presidential debate, and although I will watch it, there are some things I won't be doing. I've decided certain blogs, websites and television viewing are over for me. I just can't take the vileness in which they express their opinions. It leaves me with a bitter taste in my mouth and a hatred in my heart. This is certainly not what a servant of Jesus is supposed to feel or even think. There is a reason why the bible tells us over and over again to guard our hearts. It's not because we are supposed to keep ourselves uninformed, but to keep ourselves from developing a sense of cynicism that only comes from being too worldly. Jesus says you can't love the world and love me too. I choose Him.

Goodbye and good riddance. Prayers and blessings. Have a wonderful life.

If You Call My Name

2008-10-05T18:23:00.003-05:00

The Lord is good! Sarah did great in the debates and held her own. She's got on her spiritual armor, and even though the liberal media and dysfunctional Hollywood elite keep trying to attack her, those arrows are bouncing right off. So bring it on world...the battle has just begun.

Today was such an awesome day! Worship at church today was so filled with the Holy Spirit that I left there with such gladness and peace; with such a humble spirit before the Lord. Even at a child's birthday party today, I had a conversation with a father so passionate for the Lord and our country. Lately, I am meeting more and more people with such a passion to speak out for Christ and to save our country. We talked about how we need more Christians to boldly and earnestly stand on the Word Of God. Here stood a very successful business man, an educated man, a wealthy man, and yet his first love isn't what the world has to offer but only God's truth. This is a man to whom heads would turn and ears would listen. We need more like him, I decided, and will pray for his calling.

Another encounter recently confirmed what I've been feeling...like we need a rival of sorts...not just a "Come to Jesus" meeting but a "Put on your spiritual armour because it's about to get ugly" meeting. I recently met a new lady in my bible study that literally packed up her family, quit her job, sold all she had because the Lord told her to move to Texas. I listened intently to her testimony of growing up in California (a Godless place, she claims) and feeling a sense of despair and longing so strong that she could only obey God's voice. As she spoke of how different her life has been living in Texas, what she called God's country, I felt so blessed to live and raise my children in a State that still holds so strongly to it's roots. Even though I look around me and see destruction, I am finding that there are more lovers of the truth than there are haters. For that I am so thankful; it gives my soul rest knowing God's people are my neighbors. That they are on their knees praying for the very things I am; that my passion is not in vain.

Take my tile guy. This is a guy I got out of the phone book to rebuild our master shower and Rod and I have had the most amazing conversations with him about the Lord. He has become an instant friend, something that can only happen when there is a spiritual connection, and I am so proud that God brought him into our lives!

I am so thankful; my joy is overflowing; my heart is full. God is Good!

You Are Called For Such a Time As This...

2008-10-02T14:50:00.004-05:00

I've been so burdened for Sarah Palin lately. The media and Hollywood have been attacking her with such a ferocious vileness that literally, my stomach has churned. Planned Parenthood's spokesperson recently said she wants to thank Sarah Palin because their donations have doubled since she has been the v.p. nominee and donors are actually giving money "in name the name of Sarah Palin". They are playing countless videos of Sarah in a beauty contest that took place over 20 years ago where she is playing a flute and wearing a one-piece bathing suit...insinuating that she has nothing more to offer than a pretty face. Hollywood stars are using their media influence to bash and demean her credibility, her intelligence, her experience, her faith, her values and her integrity.

I have never felt more ashamed of our media and entertainment industry than I do right now...but then, I realized, the world is just acting like the world...why should I expect it to act any differently? The "feminist movement" has become more about the liberal cause than about women's rights. Somehow a woman's rights become nonexistent if the woman doesn't follow a certain liberal doctrine...which is exactly the type of bias that I thought feminism was supposed to be against. Turns out, I'm wrong.

Thankfully, I have some sister's in Christ to whom I can voice my frustration. My mom reminded me that God told Esther "I have called you for such a time as this." As I was telling my ladies about this, someone shares this amazing story about a small town pastor whom God uses to speak those exact words to Sarah. Below is Pastor Mark Arnold's story of how amazing God is:

From~ Pastor Mark Arnold (Ohio)

"This past Tuesday, the McCain/Palin Bus came through a little town called, Lebanon, Ohio. The LORD allowed me to go to the Rally giving them a message that He wanted me to personally deliver. Sunday Night - a burden hit me that would only shake me to my knees - I prayed and wept for our Nation. Never has my heart been so broken before God. I literally interceded for these wonderful people who do not deserve all the hate against them. . . . Monday and into Monday Night - the burden of prayer was so heavy that I was literally shaking and could not stop weeping. ( I didn't know that they were coming to Ohio.) I prayed and walked and wept and walked. . . . on and on.Tuesday at 2:00 A.M. - God spoke these words to me - "Go turn the Radio on!" Immediately the Reporter's Words were - "McCain & Palin Bus to be in Lebanon later this morning for a 10:00 A.M. Rally!"Immediately on hearing that news, I heard God again...God said, "You are to go. You will meet them and give them a message for Me!". . . . .I didn't stop praying until I drove over to the town and parked the car. The News would later report they were expecting 5,000 people and the actual head-count of those who had been scanned was more than 10,000 people. I simply obeyed...and God actually told me where to stand, who to talk to...and when to be on the move. . . and even those standing beside you may just be an Angel. I struck up a conversation with an agent on the ground - he simply said, "I can't allow you to stand here!" Here is where the bus was going to actual pull up. They had to make a much larger perimeter so the entire area was now being moved back several blocks. . . He told me to go through the metal detector zone and just watch from the back. So, that's what I did. Looking over the shoulders and backs and heads of all those people...I knew it would take a miracle for what GOD told me to do. As I was standing there, two Boy Scouts came running up my back...literally, they almost knocked me to the ground because they were running so fast behind me. Their Scout Leader and several smaller boys were behind them...but as the first two were trying to push through the crowd, saying they were late...the smaller scouts were left in their dust. The Scout Leader who was with a McCain Rep from the State grabbed me and told me to bring the other Scouts up front as they continued to push through. As the Rep was shouting back at me...the people parted just like God parted the Red Sea! When I got there I was fifteen feet from the podium. GOD said, "Stand here, and don't move from this spot." Within five minutes...the bus pulled up and around the other side McCain, Sarah Palin and her husband Todd stepped up and the speeches took off. I was where God placed me...and even Sarah Palin and Todd were standing on my side of the stage. I made eye contact, I gave them thumbs up gestures...and I knew they were just happy to see me standing there. Ha Ha. A little lady who stood by me, reached up and told the Rep that they had promised a picture with her because she was the one who had lost a son in Iraq, recently. The Rep confirmed she would get a picture with them and they would talk to her. When McCain came to hug her... he immediately shook my hand following his moment with her. I shook his hand . . . . I said, "God wants you to know that I'm praying for you, Sir!" He thanked me and kept smiling. I repeated that phrase to him five times! He grabbed my hands and looked right into my eyes and said, "I won't make it without prayer. Sir, Thank You for praying for me, and don't let one day go by that you don't pray for me. I need all the prayers that I can get. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!" As he moved to my right, Sarah Palin, came over to my left side...standing over the crowd and then looking at the little lady who had lost the son. . . Sarah came and got on her hands and knees on that side of the stage and hugged that little Mom, telling her, "...it was not in vain.. . . . . . . It was at this moment Sarah Palin, reached out for me to help her up and as I was assisting her to stand I was now face to face with her and GOD said,"Open up your Mouth and I will fill it." Here is what came out... "God wants you to know that you are a present day Esther!" [She immediately began to cry]! "God wants to tell you that you are Chosen for such a time as this!" "You are called, and chosen to be a leader." "Don't lose heart and don't fear man." "The news and nay-sayers and criticizers are going to be very hateful toward you... and in the days ahead they are going to turn up the heat...but do not fear." "You are a present day Esther." You are an Esther. You are an Esther! "Keep your eyes on GOD and know that He has chosen you to Reign!" "Stay strong...be strong...don't tire. Don't be weary in well-doing. Be strong." Her husband Todd came over and I told him what I told her. He began to cry. I emphasized the fact that he was to guard her at this time...and know that "...she is GOD-CALLED and GOD-ANOINTED." ...this is a GOD-THING and your wife is a Present day Esther...she is for God to use at this time...She is an Esther...she is an Esther...she is an Esther." You will be hated...but stand strong...GOD has called both of you to stand!" "We are praying and I am praying for you...!" At this moment, McCain came right to where I was finishing talking to Todd and I told Mr. McCain exactly what I told to Sarah and Todd Palin. "Mr. McCain, ...they are called of God and she is an Esther." "Don't lose hope and don't lose heart." We are praying for all of you!" He shook my hand and with a deep look of understanding what I had just said, he said, "Thank you for your prayers and support...I really do mean that!" And he turned and shook more hands...and I watched them as they went through the crowd. When I got to my car I sat there for quite a long time...knowing the GOD of the Universe had just used me to deliver a message confirming to Sarah and Todd to realize they are truly chosen vessels of God. I wept. I have not stopped praying and crying. My heart is full knowing they had to have all the staging and all the hype and all the crowd...but the GOD of Heaven and Earth...wanted to give them a Divine-God-Appointment! To God be all the GLORY and HONOR. Do you want to know if I believe God can speak. Yes...Absolutely! Burdened for all of our Leaders!" Pastor Mark Arnold (Ohio)

Wow! I still get chill bumps reading it! My God is saying: "I've got her, keep praying, but don't be burdened; she is anointed; she is chosen for such a time as this." Tonight are the debates, and I can't wait to see what the Holy Spirit is going to do. No matter what happens, Sarah is not alone and the battle she is fighting cannot be seen with human eyes. Thankfully, she is wearing her spiritual armour that NO man can touch! God be with you, Sarah! Glory be to God!

What's in a Name?

2008-09-30T16:15:00.005-05:00

I must confess, I don't like my name. I hate having to repeat it, spell it and slowly dissect it. I despise having to say..."You know, like Tyra Banks." She is not exactly the role model I aspire to be; although, she is quite the looker. Oddly, my name is very popular in the African-American Community and usually gets listed in the credits of any black film. My parents were Caucasian, yet decided on "Tyra" for a girl and "Tyrone" for a boy. Sorry, Mom, but...are you kidding me? Perhaps my mother's secret crush on Sidney Poitier inspired the soal-sister in her; or perhaps trying to match my father's T.N.T. initials left her searching. Actually, my mother's story is that when I was born, her sister reminded her of an acquaintance that she went to college with named Tyra (she was white), so I should blame my aunt Barbara. Did I forget to mention my middle name is Neill? I know what you're thinking...what kind of drugs were my parents on?

A name defines a person. It's such an important part of one's identity and I'm not sure if parents take this challenge seriously. Hollywood stars, for instance, are notorious for naming their children strange, exotic and bizarre names...remember "Apple"? I just want a normal one. I like Kasey or Kaitlyn. What do you think, am I too old to change it?

Fannie and Freddie...Who's Fault Is It?

2008-09-22T16:04:00.003-05:00

I must admit, I'm not a financial genius, and trying to wrap my mind around the complicated intricacies of America's latest economic downfall has me spinning. I first went to my brilliant financial-CPA-husband, whom so graciously explained the fiasco. My first question was: "Whose brilliant idea was it to get the Government involved with a lending corporation?" Upon further investigation here is what I discovered:

Eamonn Butler at the Adam Smith Institute blog offers his answer:
It started with the Community Reinvestment Act of 1977, which aimed to support community groups, but in 1995 the Act was extended and beefed up, giving regulators far more powers to punish banks who refused to lend to people in poor urban neighbourhoods – so-called ‘redlining’ – because they considered the risks too high in those particular areas.Congress's idea, obviously, was to extend to poorer people the same rights and enjoyment of home ownership that the middle-class majority possessed. But in fact it precipitated the banks into giving loans to some rather shaky people. Quite simply, they feared retribution by the regulators if they did not.As a result, sub-prime loans mushroomed in the late 1990s. Not too bad for as long as the US economy was booming. But booms inevitably burn out and then the banks started to realize the magnitude of their dodgy contracts. And now, the whole world is being sucked into this crisis, and ordinary, prudent bank customers find themselves and their money frighteningly exposed.

2003 NY Times article:
According to the NY Times article, the Bush administration proposed new regulation of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, which would have tightened up loose lending, but Democrats opposed it because it would make it harder for poor people (read NAMs if you prefer) to own homes:
Among the groups denouncing the proposal today were the National Association of Home Builders and Congressional Democrats who fear that tighter regulation of the companies could sharply reduce their commitment to financing low-income and affordable housing.
''These two entities -- Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac -- are not facing any kind of financial crisis,'' said Representative Barney Frank of Massachusetts, the ranking Democrat on the Financial Services Committee. ''The more people exaggerate these problems, the more pressure there is on these companies, the less we will see in terms of affordable housing.'' Representative Melvin L. Watt, Democrat of North Carolina, agreed. ''I don't see much other than a shell game going on here, moving something from one agency to another and in the process weakening the bargaining power of poorer families and their ability to get affordable housing,'' Mr. Watt said.

That's rich. Liberal Democrat Barney Frank said that Fannie and Freddie "are not facing any kind of financial crisis." Had Democrats voted for this legislation, a financial crisis and expensive government bailout might have been averted.

The New York Times also said there was a "lobbying battle" over Bush's proposal to reign in Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac...so, lets follow the money! Over the last ten years, from 1989 to 2008, the top three recipients of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac campaign contributions are...drum roll please: (1) Democratic Senator Christopher Dodd and Chairman of the Senate Banking Committee, (3) Democrat Senator John Kerry. What about number 2 you ask? I think someone stepped in number two because, in less than four years in office, a certain inexperienced, junior Senator from Illinois somehow managed to rise to the number (2) spot in most campaign contributions received from the, now under Federal conservatorship, Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac: Democratic Senator Barack Obama. Change!

So in essence, Jimmy Carter in 1977 started it, and Bill Clinton "revised" it, Bush tried to change it (but it didn't pass a Democratic Congress) and now Obama is benefiting from it. Great. Now the tax payers will have to pay for it.

So much for NOT living in a socialized society. Thanks, Democrats, once again!

Football...it's just a game!

2008-09-17T09:18:00.002-05:00

I don't get America's obsession with Football. It's just a game to me. People get crazy over their team (my husband included) and lose their minds over a game. Maybe it's just me, but I find getting THAT worked up over ANY sport to be a little strange.

My oldest son decided he wanted to play football this year. I was against it; I got overruled. It's not that I mind him trying new things, it's just that I know my son. He wants to be big and strong and tough, but he's not; he's still a little boy. He gets obsessed with his socks not being on "just right" or his shirt being too long or his shoe strings not being tied a certain way. Let's just say that putting on ALL that gear has been a challenging experience for him. He isn't able to wrap his mind around "just grin a bear it" when his shoulder pads are too heavy or his knee pads don't fit "exactly" over his knees. Anyway, I hate to say "I told you so"...but I TOLD YOU SO!

Another thing that irritates me about Football is the time commitment and their attitude that football comes first. Huh? I'm secretly hoping that my boys decide baseball is the sport for them. I don't think I can take another season of football.

Don't Worry...Be Happy!

2008-09-12T11:21:00.002-05:00

Life is weird. In my beautiful neighborhood I've got the liberal-loving Obamas across the street from me and the Baptist-conservatives to the right of me, and the moderate-Catholics to the left of me. I ran into my Baptist conservative neighbor this morning who was saying if Obama wins, she'll just give up hope. We talked awhile about politics, Palin, God, etc...we stand for basically the same things so it was a "rah-rah" session, but afterwards, I thought..."This isn't right. We are getting ourselves worked up when we aren't even in control!"

As I was on my knees today before the Lord I just proclaimed, "You are STILL on the throne. You are Sovereign. No matter what happens, You are my king. It doesn't matter who wins; what matters is that I am on Your side! I will follow You know matter what...so it just doesn't matter." It feels so free to let go of the world's problems and lay it at His feet. I am so thankful God passionately pursued me. I hope whomever reads this knows, He is passionately pursuing them too.

Sad...Disgusting...Pathetic...

2008-09-10T17:58:00.002-05:00

From Jonathon Martin's Blog:

"South Carolina Democratic chairwoman Carol Fowler sharply attacked Sarah Palin today, saying John McCain had chosen a running mate "whose primary qualification seems to be that she hasn’t had an abortion.” Palin is an opponent of abortion rights and gave birth to her fifth child, Trig, earlier this year after finding out during her pregnancy that the baby had Down syndrome.Fowler told my colleague Alex Burns in an interview that the selection of an opponent of abortion rights would not boost McCain among many women.“Among Democratic women and even among independent women, I don’t think it helped him,” she said. Told of McCain's boost in the new ABC/Washington Post among white women following the Palin pick, Fowler said: "Just anecdotally, I believe that those white women are Republican women anyway."

Inspirational Reads

2008-09-09T16:11:00.002-05:00

I have been blessed lately to read so many inspirational biographies about peoples' lives and the path that God takes them on. At the present time, I am reading the most remarkable true story of a small town no-name pastor who feels a calling to reach out to the gangs in New York City. It takes place between 1957-60. A time in History in which most Americans would consider "the good ole days", and yet, evil, despair, destruction and lawlessness were at the core of these lost teenagers' lives. I'm so in awe of the Holy Spirit's power to transform a black and cold heart into one of repentance and shame, seeking the Lord's Holy love....all in a matter of seconds. What years and years of counselling and rehabilitation could accomplish, the Holy Spirit did instantaneously! Here is an excerpt from the "Cross and the Switchblade" by David Wilkerson:

Nicky Cruz, the toughest, meanest, life-taking gang-banger in New York testified: "Well, I went back to my seat and I was thinking harder than I ever thought before. He (the preacher) started talking and it was all about the Holy Spirit. The preacher said the Holy Spirit could get inside people and make them clean. He said it didn't matter what they'd done, the Holy Spirit could make them start new, like babies. Suddenly, I wanted that so bad I couldn't stand it. It was as if I was seeing myself for the first time. All the filth and the hate and the foulness like pictures in front of my eyes."
" 'You can be different!' he said. 'Your life can be changed!"
"I wanted that, I needed that, but I knew it couldn't happen to me. The preacher told us to come forward if we wanted to be changed but I knew it was no use for me."
"Then Israel told us all to get up. 'I'm President,' he said, 'and this whole gang is going up there!'
"I was the first one at the rail. I kneeled down and said the first prayer of my life and this was it: 'Dear God, I'm the dirtiest sinner in New York. I don't think You want me. If You do want me, You can have me. As bad as I was before, I want to be that good for Jesus.'
"Later the preacher gave me a Bible and then I went home wondering if the Holy Ghost was really inside me, and how I would know. The first thing that happened, when I went in my room and shut the door I didn't feel scared. I felt like I had company in the room-not God or anyone like that, but the way I'd feel if my mother came back. "
"The next day everyone was staring because word had gone around that Nicky had religion. But another thing happened that made me know it was real. Little kids would always run when they saw me, but on that day, two little boys stared at me a minute and then they came right up to me. They wanted me to measure and see which one of them was taller-nothing important. Only I put my arms around them because I knew then I was different, even if it didn't show except to kids."
"Then, a few weeks later, a Dragon came up to me and he said, 'Is it true you don't carry weapons any more?' I told him it was true, and he pulled a ten-inch knife and went for my chest. I threw my hand up and caught the knife there. I don't know why, but he ran, and I stood there, looking at the blood coming from my hand. I remembered how blood always made me go crazy, but that day it didn't. Words came into my mind that I had read in my Bible, 'The blood of Jesus Christ cleanseth us from all sin.' I ripped my shirt and tied up my hand and from that day blood never bothered me."

Amazingly, Nicky had a terrible speech impediment but as he spoke, the straining, painful, stammering voice in which he had begun his story, had altered. Gradually the words came more readily, the sounds clearer, until he was speaking as distinctly and effortlessly as anyone in the room. Only now had Nicky himself realized it. He stood on the platform trembling, unable to go on, tears streaming down his face. Nicky Cruz went on to become one of Jesus' most humble servants and has since evangelized all over the world.

Ironically, I bought the book for a loved one that was in jail at the time. One of the world's troubled teens desperately searching for life's true meaning down a dark and scary path. Unfortunately, he wasn't able to receive any outside literature, so I started reading it. I'm so inspired by the author's story and his servant's heart. I so desire the Lord to place me where I'm needed the most. I so much want EVERYONE to know how precious they are to Him; how much pain and suffering our Lord went through so we could experience His unconditional love. My prayer is that I will be worthy of God's calling and discerning enough to hear His voice.

The Socialist Barnyard

2008-09-09T13:29:00.001-05:00

Once upon a time, on a farm in Virginia, there was a little red hen who scratched about the barnyard until she uncovered quite a few grains of wheat..

She called all of her Democrat neighbors together and said, 'If we plant this wheat, we shall have bread to eat. Who will help me plant it?''
Not I,' said the cow.
'Not I,' said the duck.
'Not I,' said the pig.
'Not I,' said the goose.
'Then I will do it by myself,' said the little red hen, and so she did.

The wheat grew very tall and ripened into golden grain.'Who will help me reap my wheat?' asked the little red hen.
'Not I,' said the duck.'Out of my classification,' said the pig.
'I'd lose my seniority,' said the cow.
'I'd lose my unemployment compensation,' said the goose.
'Then I will do it by myself,' said the little red hen, and so she did.

At last it came time to bake the bread.'Who will help me bake the bread?' asked the little red hen.
'That would be overtime for me,' said the cow.
'I'd lose my welfare benefits,' said the duck.
'I'm a dropout and never learned how,' said the pig.
'If I'm to be the only helper, that's discrimination,' said the goose.
'Then I will do it by myself,' said the little red hen.

She baked five loaves and held them up for all of her neighbors to see. They wanted some and, in fact, demanded a share. But the little red hen said, 'No, I shall eat all five loaves.

''Excess profits!' cried the cow. (Nancy Pelosi)
'Capitalist leech!' screamed the duck. (Barbara Boxer)
'I demand equal rights!' yelled the goose (Jesse Jackson)
The pig just grunted in disdain. (Ted Kennedy)

And they all painted 'Unfair!' picket signs and marched around and around the little red hen, shouting obscenities.Then a government agent came. He said to the little red hen, 'You must not be so greedy.''
But I earned the bread,' said the little red hen.
'Exactly,' said the agent. 'That is what makes our free enterprise system so wonderful. Anyone in the barnyard can earn as much as he wants. But under our modern government regulations, the productive workers must divide the fruits of their labor with those who are lazy and idle.'

And they all lived happily ever after, including the little red hen, who smiled and clucked, 'I am grateful, for now I truly understand.'

But her neighbors became quite disappointed in her.. She never again baked bread because she joined the 'party' and got her bread free. And all the Democrats smiled. 'Fairness' had been established. Individual initiative had died, but nobody noticed; perhaps no one cared...so long as there was free bread that 'the rich' were paying for.

Bill Clinton is getting $12 million for his memoirs..Hillary got $8 million for hers. That's $20 million for the memories from two people, who for eight years, repeatedly testified, under oath, that they couldn't remember anything.

IS THIS A GREAT BARNYARD OR WHAT?

Bush...Africa's Hero

2008-09-05T18:29:00.003-05:00

The Dems want the world to believe that Bush is an evil, war-mongering, unintelligent, oil-greedy president. I wonder if the liberal media has bothered to check out how the Africans feel about him. I found an amazing and insightful article in the Boston Globe.

Bush's enduring legacy in Africa
Boston Globe

With an 80 percent approval rating in many African countries, what is it that the Bush administration did differently in Africa than it did elsewhere?
Andrew Natsios
September 4, 2008
Andrew Natsios

"WHEN PRESIDENT BUSH traveled to sub-Sahara Africa in February he was greeted by large and tumultuous crowds of admirers - which mystified many of his critics, who believe that the animosity toward his administration abroad is universal. But polling data from the Pew Foundation shows something different: Approval ratings for the United States exceed 80 percent in many African countries, some with large Muslim populations. In Darfur, many families name their newborn sons George Bush.

What is it that the Bush administration did differently in Africa than it did elsewhere?
Certainly one factor is that Africa is not the Middle East or central Asia where America is fighting two unpopular wars and where polls show America at an all-time low in public esteem. In Sudan, the United States played a central role as peacemaker in ending a 20-year civil war between the Arab north and African south, which killed 2 million people.

It was the Bush administration that first raised the alarm about the atrocities in Darfur, organized a massive humanitarian relief effort to save people in the displaced camps, and rallied an international coalition to send peacekeeping troops to restore order through the United Nations and the African Union. While the civil war continues, casualties have declined and people are being fed by aid agencies, thanks to US government generosity, which may explain why Bush is so popular among the Africans in the camps. America has played an important role as mediator in Burundi, Liberia, Northern Uganda, Sierra Leone, and the Democratic Republic of the Congo after civil wars devastated all five countries. Administration policy in Africa has not been without its failures: its military campaign in Somalia has been an embarrassment, putting vulnerable people at risk.

However important these diplomatic efforts may be, Bush's enduring legacy in Africa rests on humanitarian and economic, not political, foundations. More than anything else it has been the revolution in the US government's development assistance that is responsible for Bush's popularity.

The Bush administration doubled foreign aid worldwide over the past eight years, the largest increase since the Truman administration, and used it to encourage poor countries to undertake political and economic reform. Total US government development aid to Africa alone has quadrupled from $1.3 billion in 2001 to more than $5 billion in 2008, and is scheduled to go to $8.7 billion in 2010, principally for education (primary school enrollment in Africa is up 36 percent since 1999), healthcare, building civil society, and protecting fragile environments.
Africa has received $3.5 billion in additional funds from Bush's Millennium Challenge Corporation initiative, which rewards poor countries that encourage economic growth, govern well, and provide social services for their people. The president's HIV/AIDS program, principally focused on providing Africans with anti-retroviral drugs to treat the disease (1.7 million people are on the therapy), has been such a success that the program has been extended to 2015 at $48 billion. His five-year, $1.2 billion effort to combat malaria has provided 4 million insecticide-treated bed nets and 7 million drug therapies to vulnerable people.

The Africa Growth and Opportunity Act, approved in 2000 and reauthorized in expanded form in 2004, provides trade benefits with the United States for 40 African countries that have implemented reforms to encourage economic growth. Since 2001, US exports to Africa have more than doubled to $14 billion a year, while African exports to the United States more than tripled to $67 billion, of which $3.4 billion has been in goods other than oil. USAID has provided more than $500 million in trade capacity building for poor countries to access international markets, which is the only way Africa will escape the poverty that has for too long oppressed the continent.

While Bush's critics have given him little credit for his African initiatives, they will be among his most enduring legacies in a region of the world neglected by policymakers from both parties for too long. Africans will long remember what Bush' critics have ignored."

Andrew Natsios is a professor in the practice of diplomacy at Georgetown University, a senior fellow at the Hudson Institute, and former administrator of the US Agency for International Development.

Watch out DEMS...We got PALIN!

2008-09-04T15:41:00.003-05:00

Sarah Palin...WOW! As I watched Palin give her speech last night at the RNC, I felt so proud to be an American, a Republican, a Christian and a woman. I got tears in my eyes when the cameras focused on the veterans in the audience, and specifically, one of McCain's cell mates at the Hanoi Hilton. I loved her quick wit and biting humor (and secretly hoped Obama, Biden or Clinton(s) were watching and perhaps felt a sting or two). I loved her precious-looking family, and her darling little girl holding her tiny baby brother (did you see her lick her hand to lay down his hair?). I loved how poised, calm, self-assured and intelligent she was. In essence, I'm blown away by her and I have to come clean: I've got a MAJOR girl-crush on Sarah Palin.

After almost two years of the liberal-biased media singing Obama's praises, we finally have someone to whom even they seem baffled by. I am on the edge of my seat, anxiously awaiting the debates. Hopefully, Biden will be packing some heat, because he's going to need it. Palin is no shrinking violet; although, she is quite the looker. This gives her an extreme advantage because it is exactly what men fear the most: a hottie with brains whose not afraid to use her "assets". You go, girl! You give them all you got...oh, and show a little cleavage while you're at it! :)

Baby On Board

2008-09-02T18:34:00.004-05:00

I have to admit, I'm excited about McCain's presumptive Vice President, Sarah Palin. The more I research, listen and read about her, the more I'm impressed. McCain needed to throw a curve ball, and boy, did he ever! I am PUMPED for the first time about the McCain ticket! I can finally support a woman candidate to whom holds sacred the values that I cherish. Sarah Palin, you're my kind of woman!

Amazingly, the liberals (who claim to be so non-judgmental and open-minded) are focusing on Palin's 17 year-old pregnant daughter! Some liberals are saying, "If Palin can't run her family, how can she run the country." Others are saying, "If Palin were for sex education in schools, this wouldn't have happened." Are you FREAKIN kidding me??? Have these people just recently received an upper lobotomy? Did they go from diapers to adulthood and skip their teens? I was raised in a Christian home, went to church, knew that pre-marital sex was wrong and STILL did it! Guess what liberal anti-Christian America...Christians aren't perfect. We don't claim to be. In fact, that's the whole point of Christianity! We know we are sinners and need a savior! Hence the whole Jesus-dying-on-the-cross-for-our-sins idea. It's amazing to me that Clinton, a married adult and NOT a 17-year-old, whom was the President of the United States, could receive oral sex underneath the oval office desk by a 21 year-old intern, received sympathy and pathetic excuses from his leftest counterparts...but Palin...she's quite the monster. She has a teenager that is sexually active and now has to grow up extremely fast because she chose to participate in an adult activity. That's it. End of story. Perhaps if Palin's daughter would have aborted the baby and chained herself to a tree in order to save it, she could have become a heroin to these people. Amazing the hypocrisy.

The older I get, the more I realize that ONLY God's mercy and grace can save us. We are all sinners; we are all imperfect; we are all dysfunctional. Perhaps politics would be better served if we ALL remember that he without sin should cast the first stone.

As for Palin...well, God be with you...you are going to need him.

Happy Birthday, Rod

2008-08-27T16:12:00.006-05:00

Rod's birthday is just days away, and after all these years together, I still don't know what to get him. You see, he's the worst person in the world to buy for because he's too practical. If he needs something, he buys it; if I get him something he doesn't need, he takes it back. Our taste in clothing is very different. I try to pick out a couple of shirts that I think he will like, but more times than not, he doesn't. If I ask him what he wants he usually says..."sleep". Perhaps I could sneak some sleeping pills in his glass of wine on Friday night and run out with the kids on Saturday morning for donuts...except...I kind of need him to finish the tile in the bathroom that he started last weekend...hmmm...such a dilemma. All I can say is: he better like those freakin shirts...

The REAL problem is that he's too handy, too hard-working and too much of a light sleeper. If he were just a lazy, good-for-nothing couch-potato of a husband then we wouldn't have this issue! Seriously, and I don't tell him this often enough (and he's probably not even reading my blog), but he's a really good guy. He works so hard for his family, would cut off his right arm for the boys' and he puts our wants, desires and needs way before his own. I love how he calms us (notice I'm saying "us" because I'm a little high-strung) all down...it's just his way. Even the kids know that Daddy can "fix" it and make it all better. Yep, he's got a big load on his shoulders and he carries it with ease...okay, sometimes, it gets a little heavy...but he does a MUCH better job than most people would. But the most amazing part is that after 12 1/2 years of marriage and 4 years of dating, he can still make me see stars! Oooweee!!!

So...it's his birthday, and although he'll probably take back the shirts I got him, I just wanted him to know...You're a good one and I plan on keeping you...oh, and I kind of love you too. :)

National Black Republican Association - DYK-Unveiled Democrats Racist Past

2008-08-22T22:17:00.000-05:00

National Black Republican Association - DYK-Unveiled Democrats Racist Past

Aidan and Cute Sayings

2008-08-12T19:33:00.002-05:00

Tonight, as I was making dinner, Aidan (3 1/2 year old) comes to me and says seriously, "Mommy, when I grow up, I want to be a Fire Hydrant." Okay...how cute is that?

Yesterday, since the older two boys are in drama camp this week (like we need more drama), Aidan and I are laying down for a nap. We are cuddled under the sheets, our noses touching like Eskimoes and giggling like school girls. He smiles at me and says, "Mommy, I like you." Did I mention he is cute?

Angels Among Us

2008-08-12T13:49:00.003-05:00

I've never had trouble understanding the spirit world. Even as a young girl, I got it. Probably because I was exposed to it at such a young age. Thank you, Mom. Don't get me wrong, this statement is in no way boasting about my supernatural awareness, just my belief in the unseen realm, which to some seems foreign. Most of my adult life was spent trying to deny it's existence, but God, in His glorious patience, has a way of revealing the truth.

For instance, I love the fact that angels are among us. There is no doubt that good angels help protect (Daniel 6:20-23; 2 Kings 6:13-17), reveal information (Acts 7:52-53; Luke 1:11-20), guide (Matthew 1:20-21; Acts 8:26), provide for (Genesis 21:17-20; 1 Kings 19:5-7), and minister to believers in general (Hebrews 1:14). There are many more instances of these angelic activities in Scripture. In the Old Testament, the nation of Israel had the archangel (Michael) assigned to it (Daniel 10:21; 12:1).

I fully believe that I have had encounters with angels in my lifetime, and not all of them were good ones. I have seen and witnessed evil, and at the same time, witnessed random acts of pure goodness and love. Take 1992, Houston, TX, for example. My father was in intensive care again and I was asked to come and help take care of his 2 year old son. Without going into tremendous detail, the week did not go well. After a huge fight with Stepmother #4, on the way to the airport, she left me abandoned at a gas station 30 miles from the airport. My flight home was scheduled to depart in an hour or so, and after the week I endured, I wanted nothing more than to go home. As I sat on my suitcase by a busy intersection, I realized I had no money in my wallet and knew no one in Houston to rescue me. I started crying. Not tears of sadness but of anger. At 22, I was barely 100 pounds and probably looked more like 16 than a young woman. I picked up my suitcase and walked towards the busy gas station, not really knowing what I was going to do, but having nowhere else to go. A nice-looking, well-dressed white man with beautiful thick white hair was pumping gas and I noticed he kept looking at me. He came up to me and smiled and asked if I was in trouble. I told him my dilemma and without batting an eye said he would take me to the airport. I cried most of the 30-45 minute drive (mostly just a release of emotion over my horrendous week) and he never asked me a thing. We just sat next to each other in silence, and even though we were strangers, I felt a peaceful presence was with us. When we arrived at the gate, I turned to him and said, "I don't have any money to give you." He smiled and sweetly said, "That's okay, honey. Just be sure to do something nice for somebody else." I asked his name and he said it was Jake. That was it. We hugged and he drove off.

A random stranger or an angel sent from God? All I know is this: God cares more than we realize about our pain. For believers, He promises He will never leave us. Sometimes He even sends His messengers.

Reflections of a Mad Housewife

2008-08-07T14:27:00.004-05:00

I've got the summertime blues. The newness of sleeping in, swimming, water parks, camp and bbq's has worn off. I'm tired of the heat. The boys and I are soooo done with each other that even breathing the same air has become a chore! The word Mommy, especially screamed in high-pitched stereo, has began to give me a nervous twitch. I've become a sweaty, twitching, mad housewife...something I never aspired to be. It's left me feeling quite sorry for myself and terribly cranky. I'm not sure this is what I signed up for.

I know what you're thinking..."Count your blessings. It could be worse! Life is what you make of it! At least you have your health." Blah, blah, blah. Whomever thought up these sayings must not have stayed home with 3 boys in 106 degree weather for three months. I could come up with some new sayings, but I'm not sure that would be the Christian thing to do.

But, alas, hope is on the horizon...school starts in 2 weeks! It will all be perfect and peaceful and new...until it's not and reality sets in...but it's fun to dream! Happy freakin summer....

For a Loved-One

2008-08-05T10:09:00.004-05:00

God hears your cries, beloved
Protection surrounds you now
Suffering is only for a season
God promises: pain can turn to good

Cling to God's Word, Dear One
For in it there is truth
Life's mysteries can be found
In the pages of that book

I can only offer you prayers
Even though you don't know it
I'm thanking God for your salvation
For your pain to be used for good

You are just a kid in a grown up world
Your childhood was not your fault
We live in a fallen world, you see
Even those we love can destroy us

Jesus was with you during those times
Close your eyes and search for Him
He's with you now in a crowded cell
Draw near to Him and bask in love

Lean not on your own understanding
Wisdom is yours for the asking
Guard yourself with the armour of righteousness
Draw your sword of salvation

God says: This is the way to be free...

For His Glory

2008-07-21T06:33:00.003-05:00

Something has been eating at me for awhile. You see, giving your life to the Lord means dying of one's self; being in this world but not of this world. Everything that the world has taught me is the opposite of what God says...ex: To be strong, you must be weak. To receive, you must give. To win, you must lose. To be rich (in spirit), you must be poor (in spirit). To find joy, you must suffer/sacrifice. The world says: "It's all about ME." God says: "No, it's actually all about ME." When He said, "My ways are not your ways and My thoughts are not your thoughts." boy, did He really mean it!

I must admit, I have been feeling like an alien lately. After studying the book of Daniel I realized how poorly prepared I was to face all these contradictions. I read this scripture early this morning in 2 Cor. 12:9 - "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." I find this to be so true because I desperately need His strength to persevere!

So what has been eating at me? Myself. I want it to be easy. I don't want to suffer/sacrifice. I don't want to be persecuted for His namesake. It's a misconception that being a Christian is easy, but then, nothing of worth ever is, right? Jesus didn't come to bring peace, but to bring a sword (of the spirit) so that believers can fight the enemy. It's a battle, and I feel like a lowly soldier. What's amazing is that's where I find Him the most: in my weakness.

I love that God is so deep! His Word is so powerful that one scripture, one single sentence, can give sustenance to a thirsty soul. Although I have nothing to offer, He wants me anyway. That makes me smile; it makes the battle worth fighting.

Reflection

2008-07-20T21:35:00.003-05:00

Is blogging considered narcissism? I mean, it is ALL about ME and MY life and MY thoughts. I have stopped telling people that I have a blog... it sounds embarrassing to me like I'm trying to brag about my wonderful life and my wonderful kids and ME, ME, ME. It's like those annoying Christmas Letters that people send once a year to people they haven't seen in ages to brag about themselves. It would be refreshing to read about lives full of struggles, joy, sorrow, peace, anger, compassion, envy and triumph. A letter that tells people, "We aren't perfect, we mess up, sometimes big, we have hateful thoughts and we don't always eat healthy but sometimes we have amazing triumphs, unexplainable joy and times of pure bliss...but mostly, we are humble humans just trying to find our way." This is what I want my blog and my life story to be about.
Whether or not anyone is reading it (and it's okay if no one is), I want to look back on each entry and be reminded of my not so perfect life. Mostly, I just want to to be grateful for the little things. To not take life so seriously. To stop being so disappointed with myself when I mess up. To stop being so disappointed with others when they mess up! To just bask in His glory and remember that (quoting Beth Moore) I'm here for ten minutes...there's no time for stinkin thinkin!

Memory Lane

2008-07-09T13:41:00.006-05:00

Having recently been back from our family's summer vacation had me traveling down memory lane, recalling my own childhood summers. Even though coming from a broken home and being raised primarily by a single mom, I loved being a kid. I never wanted to grow up. I still struggle with the Peter-Pan syndrome! From 6-12 years of age, my mom and I lived in a 2 bedroom, 1 1/2 bath studio apartment in Hurst, Texas. For an apartment it was really spacious and cute with harvest gold shag carpeting and appliances (gotta love the 70's). I still dream about this apartment sometimes; always feeling happy and secure there.

My summers growing up usually consisted of me visiting either my cousins in West Texas, my aunt and her family in Arlington, my grandparents in Cross Plains or my dad (wherever he was at the time). I remember when I was 9 my father lived in Miami, Fl and I went to see him. He was staying in a high-rise apartment/condo building that was owned by his wealthy El Salvadorian girlfriend (soon to be wife #2) whom was out of the country at that time. It was pretty close to the beach and the building had it's own pool and tennis courts. The apartment was on the 7th floor. I remember this because I spent most of my days, unless at the pool, in the elevator riding up and down the different floors. I guess my father went to work during the day and left me to my own devices??? I remember getting to know the staff in the lobby and the maids pretty well. Being in Miami, there were a lot of Spanish-speaking or elderly Jewish residents, but not very many kids. Perhaps my father asked the elderly Jewish lady next door to keep an eye out for me, or perhaps we ran into each other in the elevator, but I remember her inviting me over to have lunches and sometimes dinners with she and her husband. Their apartment was very clean but smelled stuffy and musty...like moth balls. Our meals mostly consisted of "pickled" something or an olive loaf or some other concoction that my Texas pallet wasn't accustomed to. I remember not liking the food, but the sweet woman would always give me a chocolate bar or other treat to take home. I remember talking with the Puerto Rican maintenance man who commented on how well I spoke English. I just thanked him and smiled, secretly glad that he assumed I was something other than what I was. I loved making up new identities for myself (different names and accents) when meeting strangers. I was always in my own little fantasy world.

Recalling this childhood memory, I should be appalled, but yet, I smile. I like the little independent girl I remember. I can't even imagine leaving my 9 year old alone all day to wonder around a huge apartment building, but yet, it was like an amazing adventure for me. I didn't feel lonely or sad, but grown up and worldly. I always felt God was watching out for me and boy, was I right!

Why is it that I could write a book (a rather comical one) of all my childhood memories but find it difficult to sometimes recall yesterday? Hmmm....perhaps the Peter Pan in me is still alive and well...

Viva Las Mexico

2008-06-29T22:34:00.007-05:00

Spending a week in Nuevo Vallarta was amazing, fun and full of adventure. Boogie boarding, zip-lining through the mountains, swimming with the dolphins, kissing the sea lions, eating good food, snorkling, kayaching and jet skiing! No wonder we're so pooped! Can we take a vacation from our vacation?

The Battlefield Victory

2008-06-18T20:01:00.002-05:00

Laughter and crying are almost synonymous in our household. You see, what is hysterical one minute suddenly becomes extremely offensive the next. It's a very thin line between love and hate with children giddy on emotion! The contagious sound of giggling boys floating through the air is so joyous, yet sadly, becomes a precursor of what is to follow...ear numbing screaming and crying so wrought with pain and strife that one would think limbs were actually being cut off! Upon further investigation, it becomes apparent that limbs are still intact and only feelings have been bruised. Our once happy household is now a battlefield and I become the referee.

This picture is a perfect example of our daily dilemma. Andrew being our clown, making his brother's laugh and then suddenly, as if on cue, it all turns terribly wrong! The soap bubbles on top of his head are hysterical until, of course, he puts them on someone else. This offense cannot go unnoticed! Screaming, name calling and pushing turns into a full blown war. My drill-Sergeant instincts kick in and I yield my invisible armour as I step into battle. I'm out-numbered and exhausted, but I see a tiny glimpse of hope on the horizon...bedtime is near! While barking orders, I rinse, dry, clothe, brush teeth and send them to their beds...silence falls upon our noisy dwelling. Peace at last! Today's battles are over...but then there is always tomorrow!

Happy Father's Day!

2008-06-14T08:53:00.002-05:00

I have to admit, I've been thinking about my dad lately. Sadly, not the wonderful, cozy and feel-good memories, but the painful ones. I think having your own children does that to you: you either really appreciate and admire your parents, or you try your hardest not to become them. Don't get me wrong, I love my dad and so many things about him. He had a smile that was irresistible and a wonderfully contagious laugh. Not only was he handsome, but he had so much hidden talent that he never did tap into. So much wasted potential! He was always very gentle and patient with me as a young girl...just absent. Yes, God had such amazing plans for Thomas, but he chose his own destructive path. Haven't we all done this to a certain degree? I'm so thankful for the Lord's mercy and grace!

My biggest regret in life has been the things I would tell him now. Although I was fortunate to have made peace with him before he died, I'm not sure where he really stood in his relationship with the Lord. I wasn't as mature in my faith then, and I think I failed miserably at really explaining God to him. For that I am so ashamed and regretful. Of course, I talked to him about God, but there were so many things that I had yet to discover about our heavenly Father. So many things I would share with him now that I have learned to be true. My regret has to be laid at the feet of Jesus; my tears bottled up and wiped away by my Lord. "If onlies" are futile. Only God knows where my daddy's soul is spending eternity, and I can't and won't dwell on it. I can only share my love and knowledge of God with my three sons and hope that they stay on the course God has planned for them. So much potential that WILL NOT be wasted! Amen.

Happy Father's Day, Tom. I love you.

My Grandmother's Pearls

2008-06-09T07:24:00.003-05:00

After a recent visit with my 86 year-old grandparents on their farm, it left me feeling nostalgic. Watching my children play, explore and discover the same things and places that I had once enjoyed as a girl brought back so many happy memories. It was surreal and wonderful; the circle of life unfolding before my eyes.

My grandmother, perhaps sensing that time was precious, gave me a wonderful gift: her pearl necklace, given to her by my father, as a birthday gift. She kept them in a red jewelry box and carefully placed the box in my hands. "I wanted to make sure you got these because your father gave them to me. I had them restrung; they are pretty, don't you think?" My eyes swelled with tears as I ran the tip of my finger over the lovely strand of pearls. "I love them. Thank you." I said and we hugged, noticing the fragility of her petite body. It was a perfect moment. A memory to be filed away and reflected upon years later. Perhaps someday I will sit with my granddaughter and give her this precious keepsake; completing the circle of life.

Although my life-style doesn't present itself with many opportunities to wear my cherished pearls, perhaps I can imitate June Cleaver and wear them while vacuuming or washing dishes. I could greet my husband with high-heels and pearls, my hair perfectly coiffed and a lightly starched apron tied around a sleeveless sundress...Rod might wonder if he's in the twilight zone or if I gulped down all the cooking sherry! In the meantime, my pearls will represent a cherished keepsake given by those we love.

Catching Up

2008-05-26T17:37:00.004-05:00

Since my computer was down for 2 1/2 weeks, I feel like I'm playing catch up this week. It's amazing how once we were all perfectly content without the Internet, and now, we don't know what to do when we can't surf. After pilfering through my 250 emails, and catching up on my usual sites, I decided to sit down and write. The guys are out swimming at Mam-maw's and it's quiet. Just me and the animals doing laundry and picking up from a weeks' worth of overactive lives leaving their mark on our dwelling.

It's been quite busy in the Newcomer household...where does one start? The first catastrophic event was Alex accidentally whacking his younger brother, Andrew, in the head with a golf club. Of course, I was inside at the time, and Alex runs in crying and yelling babble about blood and an eye out. I follow him outside to discover my 5 year old screaming and holding a wound which is pouring blood onto the concrete driveway. Honestly, my first instinct was to pray, and loudly; secondly, to figure out where the blood is coming from...his eye, his head, his hand? I moved his blood-soaked hand and realized, thank God, that it was his temple, not his eye that was cut. I yelled to get my neighbor, Julie, who is an RN, and ran inside to get a rag to soak up some of the blood running out of his head like a garden hose. Like a pro, Julie runs over barefoot and dressed in her work clothes, scoops Andrew up and stops the bleeding. She was so awesome in calming us all down, especially Andrew, and took us to the emergency room. Andrew got the surgical-glue treatment, which is so much better than stitches, and was sent home like nothing had happened. It took me until the next afternoon to get over it....my insides were still shaking! I had Alex water-hose the driveway down...I just couldn't look at the blood. Of course, Andrew is fine, and at school, he proudly presented his battle wound to his classroom. Kids are so resilient!

Since this post is mostly about Andrew, I must mention that his 6th birthday was Saturday! We had family and neighbors over for a cookout. Happy Birthday, my big, tough guy! I love you!

Clean Hands!

2008-04-27T20:06:00.004-05:00

Aidan, my 3- year old, is obsessed with washing his hands. I'm not sure if it's classified as OCD, but it has become a little obsession. He will spend several minutes lathering and lathering the soap into a bubble Mecca, and when I recommend rinsing, he freaks out like I've committed some carnal sin of hand washing. It's a little disconcerting. We were at my in-laws a couple of weeks ago, and I announced to my boys to go wash up before dinner. Of course, Aidan was still in there as we were all sitting down to eat since his hand washing episodes take several minutes longer than the average person. My mother-in-law, concerned with whether or not his food would get cold, asked if we should wait for him and I explained our daily dilemma of unusual hand washing behavior. I said, "He even sometimes washes his forearms." Andrew, my 5-year old declared, "He doesn't have 4 arms, only two, Mommy!" We all had a good laugh and Aidan finally joined us, germs fully killed by the Goddess of Soap and Lather! I blame his father.

A New Season

2008-04-23T12:57:00.002-05:00

Last Fall I joined a women's bible study group through my church and, I must admit, at first I wasn't really "clicking" with most of the women. I felt too worldly, like perhaps I had too much baggage, and just wasn't on their level Spiritually. Due to my own insecurities, I felt somewhat judged. Since women can be such critical, petty and jealous beings, it takes me awhile to let my guard down. Then something amazing happened. Slowly, I began to allow these women into my heart. I began to realize how much their love for God and doing His will had nothing to do with me and everything to do with Him. I started to feel at home in their presence and welcomed in their hearts. The leader told me the other day how much she loved me and what a blessing I was to the group. Me? A person with too much baggage and not enough grace a blessing? No, it's not me, I realize now, it's Him.

Just like God changes the seasons on our planet, so does he change the seasons of our lives. Adding and taking away friendships, jobs, success and failures, peace and sorrow. It's all apart of His divine plan. To finally be able to lay it all at His feet and humbly admit that we are NOTHING without His mercy, grace and love. To be able to not only praise Him during the quiet and peaceful times, but praise Him through the storm. To stand still and bask in His Glory! To know that He alone is God.

Beth Moore says she can't wait to meet the ultimate Drama King, Our Lord...for He must really like a good drama...just look at the creatures He created. I'm so thankful God has His divine eye on me and praise Him during this peaceful and spiritually growing season. I'm on the edge of my seat, anxiously awaiting the next season....get a bowl of popcorn and join me for the drama, won't you? It's going to be a wild ride.

Becoming a Man

2008-04-17T16:23:00.006-05:00

Since I'm a woman, I have never really pondered the age-old question: "What makes a man a man?" However, my 7 year old was convinced that armpit hair would make him a man, until of course, my mother pointed out that she had armpit hair. He was devastated! What? How could a grandmother have armpit hair...that isn't MANLY! That's just gross!

Secretly, though, his heart's desire is to have just a few sprigs to jump-start his "manhood". While I was making his breakfast yesterday morning, he was complaining about his armpits. My first thought was towards something like lymph-nodes or swollen glands and asked him with concern what it felt like. He responded in his most serious and deepest sounding voice, "Yeah, I think I'm growing some hair there" as he sauntered off with his best John Wayne gape towards the kitchen table. Oh, dear, next month, he'll want to start shaving his beard!

Don't Drink the Koolaid!

2008-04-13T09:42:00.004-05:00

Obama The Antichrist? Hmm....
Commentary by Daniel T. Zanoza, Executive Director

Are these the end times? Judeo-Christian Scripture tells us there will be signs and wonders at the end of the age, but I'm not sure the Bible had hard core politics in mind.

Some may be shocked at the title I have given this piece. To be honest, it took me about ten seconds to decide whether asking the ultimate question would violate some kind of Christian ethic. Let's just say I wrote this column with my tongue almost firmly planted in cheek.

The truth is, during the last six months, I have been searching for a rationale to describe the phenomenon concerning the meteoric political rise of Barack Hussein Obama. I have heard Republicans say they could vote for the junior Senator from Illinois in the November presidential election. I have witnessed the veritable dismantling of the Clinton political machine by a man who does not have the experience of most serving in the U.S. Congress. I have heard of women swooning just by being in Obama's presence and, quite frankly, I don't get it. I won't even admit Obama gives a good impression of the late Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr., as some people swear he does.

It's as if a significant portion of the American public is under some sort of ungodly spell when it comes to Obama and someone needs to give me a good explanation for it. There is one thing I do know and that is Obama's popularity is similar to the cult of personality which surrounded a number of past leaders, many of whom were not exactly perfect citizens of the world. But I'm not going to go there. Let's stick with some striking comparisons given to us in Scripture.
The antichrist is mentioned in 1 John 2:18-19, 1 John 2:22-23, 1 John 4:2-3 and 2 John 1:7. Without going into the darker meaning of the antichrist's existence, for a moment let us talk about how he will come to power. Judeo-Christian teachings tell us the antichrist is a man who will have unbelievable charisma. This man of perdition will claim he is an emissary of peace and hope. The entire world will buy into his lies and deception. The antichrist will be given great spiritual powers by dark forces. However, he will also be given great political power by men who see him as a type of secular messiah. Eventually, the antichrist will reveal his true nature--after he has assumed authority over the entire world--and it will take God's intervention alone to defeat him.

Scripture goes one step further by saying, even those who know the truth will have the potential to be deceived by the antichrist--and some will. Now many will scoff at my commentary, saying I'm just another goofy Christian, playing out some sort of forecast of spiritual gloom and doom at the expense of a great man.

That's just it. Though a lot more would have to happen before I would truly believe Sen. Obama was a key player on the road to Armageddon, the nay-sayers would still have to "show me" even though I don't hail from Missouri.

Obama talks about bringing our nation together, but he doesn't explain how he would accomplish this lofty goal. For example, those who support abortion rights believe women should have access to this procedure upon demand. In contrast, people like myself actually believe the taking of an innocent unborn child's life is murder--or something very close to it. Indeed, Obama seems to be the person least qualified to bring unity over this subject because he and Hillary Rodham Clinton were arguing about which one of them would allow the killing of more unborn children.

Obama would grant "amnesty" or "a path to citizenship" to over 12 million who are in this nation illegally. Meanwhile, over 75% of Americans are against such a plan and want our nation's borders with Mexico secured. The Senator from Illinois has lofty aspirations regarding health care that would cost American taxpayers billions of dollars. Most Americans oppose any tax hike. Therefore, such a plan would be impossible to implement.

The litany goes on and on. Obama offers hope and change, change and hope, but, in reality, the political atmosphere in the United States says something completely different. There would be "hope" if only all Americans would agree with the practice of abortion. Will we finally experience change when a vast number of U.S. citizens say there should be no border with Mexico? Will we all come together, if we simply create dialogue with people who have sworn to kill us, like Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, as Obama suggests?

These are some of the reasons why I have made the Obama antichrist analogy. It would take some sort of mesmerism to get me to believe that killing babies in the womb is a Constitutional right. But I don't think that is the way the antichrist will operate. Those who fall under his spell won't think about such subjects; the world will simply look at an aura which exists around an individual, but the aura will have no substance. There will be light, but no heat. There will be mass, but no form. The message will have a spiritual resonance, but be lacking in spiritual quality.

Doesn't this describe Barack Hussein Obama to the nth degree? No, I don't really think Obama is Satan's main man on the planet Earth. But until someone gives me a reasonable explanation for his popularity, I'm going to leave the door to this thought open, just a crack. Even if I am wrong, at least this will let some light shine through.
Author's Note: For more on the subject, go to: http://rffm.typepad.com/republicans_for_fair_medi/2008/03/christians-need.html

Praises to My King

2008-04-10T22:02:00.006-05:00

My eyes are on You...

God of my Days

King of my Nights

Lord of my laughter

Sovereign in Sorrow

The Prince of my praise

The love of my life

You never leave me

You are faithful!

God of my Days

My eyes are on You...

Thank you for keeping your eyes on me and never letting go

I have nothing of worth to give You but myself...

Like you spilled your blood; I spill my heart

As an offering to my King....

Here I am, take me, as an offering

Here I am, giving every heart beat for Your Glory

Take me...

I love you, Precious one!

Oprah...The Antichrist?

2008-04-08T15:40:00.002-05:00

It's interesting how subtle and clever the deceiver is in counterfeiting Christ. Oprah Winfrey now has a new "church" called the New Earth. Apparently, it's supposed to bring the world closer by unifying us spiritually and calling God whatever one chooses. "All path's lead to God", "You are the light; therefore, God", "There is no sin", "Heaven isn't a place...don't concern yourself with it". Unfortunately, this doctrine is nothing new. In researching the New Age Movement, everything the New Earth stands for mimics this philosophy. It appeals to the egos of individuals leading them to think that that they are God and can enhance their lives through their own person. If this is thought through, it becomes quickly apparent that this is impossible. We are born, grow up, live awhile on planet earth and die. Humans are finite. We can never be God. Since I am an imperfect, fallible and a mortal human being (using only 8% of my brain capacity), thinking of myself as God is scary, ridiculous and foolishly narcissistic.

Through my spiritual journey, I have studied other religions and philosophies. I came to realize that the ONLY truth is the Holy Bible. No other "religion" has a savior who died for our sins, and through grace, not works, a person is saved. Romans 1:19-21 contains the biblical explanation for why there are so many religions: "...what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them. For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities—His eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse. For although they knew God, they neither glorified Him as God nor gave thanks to Him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened.” The meaning of these Scriptures is clear. The truth of God is clearly seen and known by every human being because God has made it so. Instead of accepting the truth about God and submitting to it, most human beings reject it and seek their own way to understand God instead. But this leads not to enlightenment regarding God, but to futility of thinking. Here is where we find the basis of the “many religions.” Many people do not want to believe in a God that demands righteousness and morality, so they invent a God who makes no such requirements. Many people do not want to believe in a God that declares it impossible for a person to earn his/her own way to heaven by his/her own good deeds. So they invent a God who accepts people into heaven if they have completed certain steps, followed certain rules, and/or obeyed certain laws. Many people do not want a relationship with a God who is sovereign and omnipotent.

The decision to embrace the truth about God is an important one for a simple reason: eternity is an awfully long time to be wrong. This is why right thinking about God is so critical. My suggestion to Oprah's followers is to ask the Holy Spirit to help you recognize a counterfeit philosophy. Jesus warned us that “false Christs and false prophets” will come and will attempt to deceive even God’s elect (Matthew 24:23-27; see also 2 Peter 3:3 and Jude 17-18). To best guard yourself against falsehood and false teachers - know the truth. To spot a counterfeit, study the real thing. Any believer who is, “rightly dividing the word of truth” (2 Timothy 2:15), and who makes a careful study of the Bible, can identify false doctrine. For example, a believer who has read the activities of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit in Matthew 3:16-17 will immediately question any doctrine that denies the Trinity. Therefore, “step one” is to study the Bible and judge all teaching by what the scripture says. Jesus said “a tree is known by his fruit” (Matthew 12:33). When looking for “fruit,” here are three specific tests to apply to any teacher to determine the accuracy of his or her teaching: What does the teacher say about Jesus? Does this teacher preach the gospel? Does this teacher exhibit character qualities that glorify the Lord? For further study, review those books of the Bible that were written specifically to combat false teaching within the church: Galatians, 2 Peter, 2 John, and Jude. It is often difficult to spot a false teacher / false prophet. That is what a “wolf in sheep’s clothing” is all about. Satan and his demons masquerade as “angels of light” (2 Corinthians 11:14), and his ministers masquerade as servants of righteousness (2 Corinthians 11:15). Only by being thoroughly familiar with the truth will we be able to recognize a counterfeit.

Click here to find out more about the counterfeit New Earth: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JW4LLwkgmqA

The Dream

2008-04-01T15:44:00.004-05:00

I never dream anymore but for two nights my dreams were vivid, detailed and somewhat disturbing. As I enjoyed my morning coffee, I tried to analyze what it all meant. Perhaps doing a study on the book of Daniel, which is very prophetic and full of dreams and visions, was starting to rub into my self-conscious. I was sharing my dreams with my family over our breakfast and my 7 year old was listening intently. The second dream went like this:

I was sitting outside at a banquet table full of people. Two of them were my relatives (I will not name) and one was a relative of a friend. Sometimes my mom was there, and sometimes she was not. The other people I did not know, but it was jovial and relaxing. A net screen was hung over the arbor and it was right at dusk; a few candles were lit on the table and a faint breeze was stirring the air. Dark-skinned little girls dressed in white with no shoes on were serving us bread, cheese and drinks. A white man approached the table, eloquently dressed and extremely hospitable. I knew who he was, but he did not know me. I somehow realized that I was in South Africa. I then asked our host about the little girls and he said they were orphans that he adopted and they helped with the restaurant. In the distance I could see one of the girls killing a pig and roasting it over a BBQ pit; another was chopping off the head of a chicken. Our food was being killed and then cooked before our eyes! All of a sudden, someone yelled to me to watch out. I ducked my head and felt a hard object hit my shoulder and then warm liquid poured onto the left side of my body. When I looked down at my hands, they were filled with blood. Blood was dripping from my hair and eyelashes. This was all happening in slow motion, and it was like I was observing what was happening to me from above. I looked to see what had hit me and it was the head of a goat that one of the girls killed. Apparently, I was the only one at the table who got hit by the animal and the only one that got covered with blood.

After I finished telling my dream, Alex (my 7 year old) says he thinks he knows what it means. "Mom, you are the only Christian at the table; that is why you got covered with the blood, because there is power in the blood." The ironic thing is I was thinking the same thing....and the people who were at the table are not believers and have been on my mind and prayers lately. WOW! I'm continually amazed at the depth of Alex's thinking. God is going to use him miraculously! I am blessed to be his mother.

A Missed Opportunity by Rev. Wayne Perryman

2008-03-31T14:06:00.003-05:00

A Missed Opportunity In Obama’s Speech on Race By Rev. Wayne Perryman -March 22, 2008

I was asked to review and analyze Obama’s inspirational and fascinating speech on Race. Many believe it is one of the best speeches we have heard on the subject since the I have A Dream speech. I agree. But I have one problem - he missed the opportunity to set the record straight on two issues that he brought up.

1. His first missed opportunity came one minute and thirty-four seconds into his speech, when he refers to the Declaration of Independence and how it was “stained by “this nation’s original sin of slavery…”
Although he follows up and talks about how slavery “divided the Colonies and brought the convention to a stalemate,” he failed to point out that as a nation we were always divided over the issue of slavery from the time the first slave ship arrived in Jamestown, Virginia in 1619, to the end of the Civil War 246 years later.
He should have told the audience, that there has never been a universal endorsement of slavery by the white citizens of this country and that white America has always been split over the issue of slavery. He could have mentioned that 175 years before the Emancipation Proclamation was signed, the Mennonite Quakers (white folks) of Germantown, Pennsylvania passed an anti-slavery resolution in 1688. It was the first formal protest against slavery in the Western Hemisphere.Under this resolution, Quakers who participated in the slave trade were threatened with expulsion.
He should have mentioned that in 1711, 65 years before the Declaration of Independence was signed, that our white founding fathers passed colonial legislation to outlaw slavery, but their law was overturned by the British Crown.
He should have said the issue of slavery was so divisive that white churches split, white families splits (some fighting for the Union and other for the Confederacy) and eventually our nation split, which resulted in the Civil War.
He should have told his audience that the greatest obstacle in finalizing our Constitution was the issue of slavery. Pro-slavery members (who eventually became the Democratic Party) wanted to count slaves as full citizens (of their state) for the sole purpose of gaining more seats in the House, but they had no interest in giving their slaves the same rights afforded their white citizens of their(southern) states. The anti-slavery members (who eventually became the Republican Party) strongly opposed this racist proposal. To finalize the Constitution and not give in totally to the pro-slavery members, they reached a compromise with the three-fifths clause. Stating that since the pro-slavery members did not offer their slaves citizenship (under “State’s Rights”) they could only count the slaves as 3/5 of a person when determining how many seats they could have in Congress.
In proving that our “nation” (meaning all of white America) never really endorsed slavery, he should have told his listening audience that in 1835 the anti-slavery movement had over 435,000 members and these white abolitionists fought and gave their lives to express their opposition to slavery and the mistreatment of African Americans.
He should have said that Harriet Beecher Stowe and John Brown weren’t the only whites that opposed slavery, there were countless of other individuals such as Republican Senator, Charles Sumner, who was nearly beaten to death on the Senate floor by Democrats for his speechopposing slavery. There was Levi Coffin, the originator or the conductor of the Underground Railroad and several thousand other whites who eventually left the Democratic Party and formed the Republican Party to put an end to slavery.
By failing to point out the massive number of whites who not only opposed slavery but literally gave their lives to end it and racism, he merely perpetuated the myth and lie that our nation (implying thatevery white in America) endorsed or approved of slavery and Jim Crow. He should have made it clear, that is wasn’t every white - it was primarily the white members of the Democratic Party - the party that became known as the Party of White Supremacy.

2. His second missed opportunity came 21 minutes and 14 seconds into his speech when he made the following reference to slavery, Jim Crow and the anger of his pastor:
• ‘We do not need to recite here the history of racial injustice in this country. But we do need to remind ourselves that so many of the disparities that exist in the African-American community today can be directly traced to inequalities passed on from an earlier generation that suffered under the brutal legacy of slavery and Jim Crow….’
• ‘…The anger is real; it is powerful; and to simply wish it away, to condemn it without understanding its roots, only serves to widen the chasm of misunderstanding that exist between the races….”
In order to foster a better understanding of the roots of racism Obama should have told his audience that the roots of racism rested in the soil of the Democratic Party, not in our nation as a whole. As a Harvard law scholar, Obama should have cited Case No. 06-1107, a case that was before the United States Supreme Court in 2007 where the Plaintiffs argued that:
“It was the Supreme Court’s decisions in key Civil Rights Cases that gave the Democratic Party the legal authority to inflict the alleged injuries on those whom the Federal District Court referred to as “the entire African American community. Those cases include, but are not limited to: The Dred Scott Decision, the Slaughterhouse Cases, Plessy v. Ferguson and the Civil Rights Cases of 1881, which convinced the Court that the 1875 Civil Rights Act was unconstitutional (Civil RightsCases 109 U.S. 3 (1881)….’
[All of the landmark Civil Rights cases cited above were designed to deny blacks their rights as citizens and all were the legal actions of Democrats]
[The Plaintiff went on to argue] ‘In the Slaughterhouse cases and other subsequent cases including Plessy v. Ferguson, it was the court’s narrow interpretation of the 14th Amendment that allowed many racist practices to go unchallenged and unpunished under what the Democrats claimed as “States Rights,” including their right to own slaves and treat them as property and not as people….”
[The Plaintiffs cited Professor Bernard Schwartz of New York University School of Law who said] “Upon Plessy was built the whole structure of segregation that has been at the heart of the Democrat’s southern system of racial discrimination…”
[In their final arguments the Plaintiffs said]
“The court must understand that racism in America was politically driven. Without the political backing of those who made up and formed the powerful Democratic Party, a Party that gave their lives and spent billions to preserve the institution of slavery and the system of Jim Crow, slavery would have ended 100 years earlier, and Jim Crow would have died in the womb of those who conceived it. Contrary to public opinion, racism was not something that the entire white race engaged in. Racism was the political agenda of a powerful political party – made up of individuals who chose to use the deadly disease of racism to cover their own insecurities, in their relentless quest for wealth and power.’ [The entire brief of this case can be found in Rev. Perryman’slatest book entitled: Unveiling the Whole Truth]
Had Obama seized the opportunity to emphasize that our nation as a whole never endorsed slavery and that the roots of racism rested in the soil of his party, he would have narrowed what he called: the chasm of misunderstanding that exists between the races.
It is most unfortunate that Obama took the time to publicly denounce Rev. Jeremiah Wright’s “wrong” statements, but he has never taken the time to publicly denounce his party’s racist past which was far more devastating and divisive than his pastor’s sermons or his grandmother’sfears.

Rev. Wayne PerrymanP.O. Box 256Mercer Island, WA 98040(206) 860-6880
Rev. Wayne Perryman is a scholar, author, historian and minister who is African American and leads an inner city ministry in Washington state

House of Destiny

2008-03-31T08:10:00.002-05:00

Below is an excerpt from a ministry that we support and have such a heart for. A few years ago, 20/20 (I think) did a story on the sex slave industry in Thailand that literally made my stomach churn. Recently, I became aware of James Robison's Ministry efforts called "House of Destiny" which is a "compound" being built to rescue and house these children. Unicef estimates that 1 million children annually have been or will be sold as sex slaves in Thailand. Mostly girls, but some boys, as young as 4 or 5 bought or kidnapped from their impoverished families to live in a brothel! On 20/20, the news team that went to Thailand had hidden cameras and posed as "customers" to capture what went on in these brothels. These precious little sisters (around 8 and 6) were standing, looking up at these adult men with their angelic faces, asking them if they wanted "yum-yum". The brothel owner explained that they had been recently taught and have practiced oral sex ("yum-yum") but that they were still virgins. The brothel owner was excited and pleased to sale their virginity or even let the men have them for a few days to take back to their hotel rooms! My heart breaks for these precious children. Please read the excert below and consider saving a child from this evil and cruel practice.

http://www.lifetoday.org/site/PageServer?pagename=out_Thailand"Children and teens are the targets of human traffickers in Thailand. The UN estimates only the sale of illegal drugs and weapons generate more money than the underground market for human slaves. In a cruel twist of deception, children raised in poverty are lured to the city with offers of good jobs. Instead, they become enslaved by their “owners” who used them for forced labor, or worse, use them in the sex slave industry. (Watch the video: "Village Kids")
We cannot look away from this evil. We must lift our voices to make a difference and we will with your help. Together we can establish The House of Destiny a place of refuge and safety where children can learn of God’s love for them and develop vocational skills so vital for their future.
We must rescue them “for a new destiny” and give them hope. Their lives can be redeemed, renewed and restored at the House of Destiny. Our total project goal is $1,280,000 a huge goal beyond our normal ministry and mission outreaches. It includes the support needed to construct and equip the House of Destiny as well as the support for the needs of the children.
With our plan to help rescue 10,000 children over the next 10 years and our project cost of $1,280,000, that’s just $128 per child! Every $128 we invest in this outreach means we can help another child escape a hellish existence and find new life in Christ."
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Love and Logic...???

2008-03-14T12:47:00.004-05:00

I just completed a 6 week parenting seminar called "Love and Logic". I even got a certificate with my name on it that proudly states I am now ready to raise my children with confidence! Out with the old ineffective way of parenting and in with the new! I am on the road to successful, respectful, kind, loving and pleasurable kids! The only problem is...ME! I'd like to trade myself in for a better model...

Even though I haven't been at this parenting-thing for very long, I'm already set in my ways. You see, I was raised an only child. I didn't have siblings to fight with or toys that I constantly I had to share. When I wanted the last ice cream sandwich, I didn't have to manipulate my younger brother into eating a Popsicle instead. No negotiations were needed when my favorite t.v. show came on and my siblings wanted to watch something else; I just watched it. There was no need to secretly wonder if I was Mom's favorite or if my brother was smarter than me. Being an only child does have its advantages. However, what I've learned through watching my children interact with each other and me trying to guide them in their decision making is: I wasn't prepared for the REAL world of parenting!

Love and Logic says: "Empathy, not anger." We spent a whole session practicing our "empathy" phrase. Like: "How sad" or "Oh, bummer" or "Awwww...". The second rule is "give choices". I went home that day armed with my empathy phrase at the ready...if anybody could be empathic, it was a mom like me! I was prepared to give my children a plethora of choices..."Would you like to wear your blue shirt or your green one?" I was ready for my first test of real parenting!

Finally, just a mere two minutes after I picked up my 5 and 3 year olds from school, I had my first opportunity to use my new skills. Aidan was not in a good mood and he wanted me to carry him, along with his backpack, nap mat and lunch bag, to the other end of the church to get his brother. I immediately knelt down beside him and said sweetly, "Aidan, would you like to carry your backpack or your lunch bag?" A scowl appeared on his face. "You carry me," he demanded. "No. Mommy has too much to carry and we have a long way to walk. Could you help me and choose to carry your backpack or your lunch?" again, I asked sweetly and with a fake smile on my face. The tears started coming, his voice grew louder, his arms held high above his head, "No. You carry me!" Hmmmm? Okay, no problem, I thought, I'll try empathy. "Oh, bummer. Mommy can't carry you. I know that makes you sad, I feel your pain, I really do!" I again said, my words dripping with honey. I felt very confident in my empathy phrase, after all, I had practiced it all morning! The loud wailing and stomping of tiny feet filled the church halls. Aidan refused to budge and a full-blown temper tantrum was his apparent choice. My memory quickly scanned the "Love and Logic" manual. He didn't like empathy nor my choices....I started to panic, which is yet another rule...to stay calm! As the wailing grew louder and the "I'm-glad-that's-your-kid-and-not-mine" looks from the other mothers caught my eye, my mind drew a complete blank. I did what any mother would do in a situation such as this: I left him. I could hear him screaming after me like I had abandoned him on the side of a busy freeway. I nonchalantly called back to him..."Come on, Aidan. Mommy has to get brother, follow me if you want too." I was proud of myself. I conquered at least one rule...I was calm...well, I appeared to be anyway. I held my head high and walked with a false stride of confidence. This was just a minor set-back, I convinced myself. Finally, half way to my destination, a weary, red-faced, drippy-nosed three year old started running after me. I knelt down, and he ran into my arms. I hugged him, wiped his nose and said, "Would you like to carry your backpack or your lunch bag?" He chose his lunch bag, and with defeat written all over his face, we walked to Andrew's classroom. Wow! It had worked! I passed my first test! I was a Love and Logic Parent!

Since winning this battle, I have lost far too many. I find myself growing irritated with my empathy words and instead hear myself barking commands like a drill Sergeant...."Because I said so!" or "Now! We're late! Do you need a spanking?" My instructor would probably rip up my new certificate with profound empathy and sadness for failing so miserably. Thankfully, I'm not alone. My friend, Jennifer, and I ask each other weekly how "Love and Logic" is going like it's a new diet we're trying to conquer. I'm so glad she is as set in her ways as I am.

Why Kids Should Not Be Left Alone!

2008-03-13T15:36:00.003-05:00

This was sent to me by a friend a couple of years ago and I saved it to remind me how funny kids can be. I don't know this little boy or his parents but I feel a kinship with them...it's like we've met before! I especially like the perfect detail and placement of the pantyliner on the private area, and the top of the feet, no less. Bravo, for a job well done, kiddo!

Aidan (my 3 year old) looked at this picture and then asked, "Is this me, Mama?" Ah, it takes one to know one, right?

Captivating

2008-03-07T16:11:00.003-06:00

My mom gave me a wonderful, beautiful and touching book called "Captivating...Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman's Soul". Ahhh....isn't the title nice? It's the kind of book you want to get cozy and eat chocolate truffles with. The whole book is about women's miraculous beauty. Not just the beauty that is seen (although, we are quite stunning to look at) but the inner beauty that radiates from our spirit. After reading it, I felt so loved, so admired and so content. I was so grateful that God created me (chubby thighs and all) just the way I am! I wanted to dance and sing and celebrate my womanhood with all the joy I could muster. Just think how much God loved us to have shared His own amazing beauty with His beloved daughters...to have breathed into our very soul the essence of a captivating, indescribable beauty....WOW!

My sisters, if you are needing a little spiritual stroking, I recommend this book. It's a delightful little read written by John and Stasi Eldredge.

China??

2008-02-29T16:27:00.003-06:00

Since I have no privacy, my three-old asked me the other day..."Mama, where's your weinah?" I told him I was a girl and girls don't have "weinahs" but vaginas. My husband looked at me like I said a curse word. "What? It's the proper word for it. What else do you want me to call it?" I asked him. He shrugged.

A couple of days later, in the middle of bed-time stories, Aidan said, "Mama, boys have weinahs and girls have chinas, right?"

After laughing and hugging him tightly, I said, "You got it!" I decided I like his pronunciation better.

Politics

2008-02-26T14:28:00.002-06:00

I've decided I can no longer discuss politics. It turns me into someone I do not want or like to be. I used to think a good political debate was fun, interesting and challenging. However, the closer I get to God, the more I realize it only brings out the worst in people. Accusations start flying, tempers flare and hurtful or sarcastic things are said. Is this glorifying to God? Would he be proud of this? "No," I hear the voice inside my head say.

So, although, I still stand firm in my convictions and will vote for whomever meets those standards, I will keep it to myself...or perhaps a chosen few who I know agree with me. I will take it to God when my voice wants to be heard. After all, isn't He the only one that really counts?

Cleansing

2008-02-24T09:09:00.003-06:00

This Friday and Saturday my soul got a good washing! It was the most amazing, cathartic, humbling, glorious, divine experience of my life. Our church has (along with so many other ministries) a freedom ministries called, Kairos. It's a Greek word meaning "A time when God acts". My friends, God acted in ways that are indescribable and incomprehensible to our human minds. I went there anxiously and desperately wanting to totally immerse myself with God's love...oh, I received that but so much more. I let go of past wounds that had left my broken soul heavy and burdened. Things that I thought were dealt with, were really just swallowed and buried in my gut. God, in His wonderful mercy, grace and love, totally released me from burdens that only He can bear. I am so thankful for His love and I fell in love with Him all over again! My intimate encounter with Him left my heart bursting with His joy and peace.

To whomever reads this, please run into His arms...I promise you, it will change your life. He's waiting for you, in fact, He's always been there with open arms. Bury your wounds in His love.

Mike Huckabee for President - Blogs - Cinderella Man 2.0

2008-02-12T11:22:00.000-06:00

Mike Huckabee for President - Blogs - Cinderella Man 2.0

Growing

2008-01-31T16:10:00.001-06:00

As I grow spiritually, I realize now all the growth I had missed out on when I wasn't walking with the Lord. How ignorant I was. Thankfully, He can meet us right where we are; ignorance and all! It's amazing how awesome God is in working so intricately in our lives. It's humbling to know that He cares about me...after all, who am I? To quote one of my favorite songs: "I am a flower quickly fading, here today and gone tomorrow, a wave tossed in the ocean, a vapor in the wind...still, You hear me when I'm calling. Lord, You catch me when I'm falling and You told me who I am...I am Yours". Such annointing and powerful words from Casting Crowns. Their songs really minister to the spirit.

The last several weeks I've been challenged to study and read the book of Jeremiah. As I was reading I kept thinking...what does this have to do with me, Lord? Then I went to Women's Night at my church and bought the prophetic guest speaker's book about her prison experience. After finishing the book, our sermon that Sunday was on "Adversity". All three of these messages were on this very topic: Adversity. The Websters definition is: Great affliction or hardship. My spirit keeps wondering if the Lord is preparing me for something. I've learned so much these last weeks through prayer, reading and songs that adversity is not only character building, but a growing process that ultimately brings glory to God. Isn't that what a spirit-filled life entails? Growing stronger; growing closer; dying of one's self and letting Christ live in us?

A heroin of mine is a Christian woman by the name of Corrie Ten Boom (1892-1983). In 1944, she and her family successfully hid many Jews from the Nazi's in their home in Holland. Once their secret was discovered, her family was taken to concentration camps in Holland and Germany but she emerged the sole survivor to tell her amazing story. Her incredible testimony of tremendous adversity reminds me that once again, God's purpose for us on this Earth isn't about us at all but about Him. Corrie witnessed to thousands the incredible strength, love, grace and power that the Holy Spirit gave she and her sister during their horrific years of imprisonment and she ultimately discovered, they were her best years. After all, she was given the most incredible gift...to realize that no pit is deep enough that you can't find God.

Of course, I'm in awe of women such as this because I'm not in a pit. I'm in a warm, comfortable home in Middle-class America. My family is healthy, my husband is employed, we have plenty of food and material things. So where is my adversity? Is God preparing me for times to come when only He can bring me through it? To quote another favorite song: "I pray: Bring me joy, bring me peace, bring the chance to be free, bring me anything that brings You Glory. I know they'll be days when this life brings me pain, but if that's what it takes to praise You, please bring me rain." Whew! I am growing and I am thankful.

Uh-oh...Girls!

2008-01-17T08:10:00.001-06:00

My oldest son, who is 7, has discovered girls. I thought the hormonal surge didn't happen until at least 5th grade, but I was wrong...trouble is starting to brew! He came home one day in December and proudly announced that he had two girlfriends. As he was telling me this, he casually added that he chased them down in recess and kissed them too. "Where?" I asked, trying not to sound too horrified. "On the hand" he stated proudly. My first thought was "whew", my second thought was "what's next?". I began to explain to him that it was definitely okay to kiss a girl on the hand, but only if she wants him too...and nowhere else, I quickly added! Apparently, the first girl said "yuck" and the second girl said "do it again!". I'm a little scared of the second one! I've met her several times and she's quite the sassy little looker...even I want to kiss her hand.

Several days later, he received his first love note from a brunette with glasses. Alex was not sure why this girl loves him since he claims they have never spoken. I asked him if he thanked her for the sweet heart-filled letter and he rolled his eyes and said, "No, mom, she's not one of my girlfriends. She just wants to be!" Oh, dear.

At Christmastime, as my boys were visiting with their much older teenage cousins, the conversation turned to dating and girls. One 17 year-old cousin stated he has been dating his girlfriend for 5 months now; the 15-year old cousin said he has had his for three months. Alex piped up, "I have 2 girlfriends...I got them 5 days ago," he exclaimed with glee. He had a puzzled look on his face when everyone started laughing.

As of today, he has broken up with the sassy looker and brooding red-head. Apparently, the girls in 1st grade are quite fickle! The drama has just begun....

The Pure Heart

2008-01-09T17:02:00.000-06:00

The pure heart reveals her anguish
When tribulation comes to steal
The peaceful serenity inside her soul
And the intoxicating aroma of quiet bliss

Entangled in the web of deceit
Bitterness has not yet found
The calm voice inside has surrendered
To a place of solitude and rest

To feel the warmth of love
Among the wolves that devour
Joy cannot be squelched
Pain cannot be found

The pure heart finds the secret place
The armour is worn to guard the attack
Spirits move but do not harm
Love, truth and light win the battle within

Joy is found again....

Whew, it's over!

2007-12-26T07:47:00.000-06:00

The difficult part about Christmas is that the preparation is so exhausting! The decorating, shopping, mailing, preparing, baking, organizing, cooking, eating, cleaning...it's overwhelming! Even though I might be five pounds heavier, and our pocket book five pounds lighter, it's definitely worth it!

The highlights of the Christmas 2007 season were: Alex learning so many Christmas songs on the piano. He filled our home with the sounds of the holiday and the joy music can bring. The many charities we participated in with our time or gifts. The decorating of the Gingerbread Houses, which was messy, but cute! The Holiday parties! The baking of cookies that we handed out to our neighbors. The adorable family-picture Holiday Cards. I love getting mail this time of year and proudly display all of the cards! The searching for the perfect gifts (I did a lot of shopping this year on the Internet). The Holiday programs, either at school or church. Visiting with relatives or friends that you only see once or twice a year (and sometimes realizing that once is enough)! :) The magic of Santa Claus! The overwhelming feeling of gratefulness to my Lord. The spirit of goodwill that fills the air.

As enjoyable as it all was, I'm glad it's over. I'm glad I can get back to my regular schedule. I'm glad I can finally find more time to go to the gym. I'm glad I can start writing in my blog again! Now, the reality of normal, daily activities are ahead, and surprisingly, I find that comforting.

Happy New Year and blessings to all! 2008...here we come!

The Reason for the Season

2007-11-28T17:31:00.000-06:00

The holidays are here and it's such a busy time. I have a so many projects and to-do-lists that I feel my head is spinning. In my quiet time, when I'm writing this, I stop and reflect upon life's craziness. The good and the bad of it all seems to intertwine together. There is so much beauty, and yet, so much pain as well.
Christmas brings out the "giving attitude" in us all, and also the realization of how many others in the world that need to be given too. I am overwhelmed this time of year with charity after charity needing donations; each one with its own story and crisis; each one touching and pulling at my heartstrings. However, as much as I would love to, I can't give to each one. My heart feels burdened for all the lost and suffering souls that are on this earth. Just this morning, while I was eating my bowl of Frosted Flakes, I opened an envelope that said "EMERGENCY!". It was from World Vision, a Christian Organization that is dedicated primarily to children in Third World Countries. We sponsor a little girl in Indonesia named Butet who has lost her parents to AIDS. Anyway, this particular emergency is about the cyclone that just hit Bangladesh and the thousands of people left homeless and without anything. As I was reading about the devastation, I felt guilty sitting at my kitchen table, in my warm p.j.'s, in my warm home, filling my belly with food. When I feel myself feeling overwhelmed by life's issues, I can only turn to God. I can only lay my burdens (and the rest of the world's atrocities) at Jesus' feet. If I don't, I get depressed.
How does one teach children, who grow up in an affluent neighborhood and school, about the realization of another world? Already materialism is shoved down their throats at such an early age. My son, who's in the first grade, has already made a comment about his 7-year old friend who has a flat screen t.v. in his bedroom. I told him not to worry because he was never going to have a t.v. in his bedroom...flat, round or triangular! He didn't think it was as funny as I did.
We talk to our boys, especially at the dinner table, about other children around the world that don't have any food tonight to fill their bellies, or parents to tuck them in to sleep, or warm clothes or shoes to protect their bodies. It is starting to sink in. My five year-old always includes in his prayers..."Please give the people that don't have food something to eat." It makes a mother proud to know that they are listening to something I am saying.
My prayer for all of us living such blessed lives is to remember to be thankful this holiday season. Remember the true meaning of Christmas. Remember, as my husband always says, "It could be worse." And, of course, remember to tell those people in your lives how grateful you are to have them share this journey with you. Happy Holidays!

Relationships

2007-11-20T08:03:00.000-06:00

Relationships are the fiber that threads us together. We all want them. We all need them. Why, then, are they so complex? In reading the book 1st John, it's all about relationships and loving each other. God knew how vital relationships were going to be to human beings (and to Himself) but He also knew how each one was going to mold us into the person we are today. People have so much affect on each other, both positive and negative. Without even realizing it, every gesture, statement, smile or frown can make an impact on those around you.

Raising children allows you to recall your own childhood memories. For instance, when I feel my child is being bullied, it turns me into a fanatic over-protective mom. I HATE bullies! Sometimes as a child I was the target of bullying, but more often, I watched in horror many children being bullied. I felt helpless to do anything about theirs or my terrible predicament. It left a tremendous impact on me. Since I was a tiny girly-girl and an only child, I didn't know how to fight. I didn't want to. The result of that experience (along with others) left a rage growing inside me. To fight to the death for justice! In my 20's I thought I was bad-ass...all 100 pounds of me! Rod used to call me a "Chihuahua" because my bark was definitely louder than my bite. I felt the rage cool in my 30's, but sometimes it sneaks up on me every now and then. PMS, for instance, doesn't always bring out the best in me, especially when children are whiny, argumentative, uncooperative and fighting each other.

Girlfriends are an essential part of my human need for relationships. Since I don't have a sister, and always wanted one, I have searched for surrogate sisters along life's journey. I am so grateful that I have found some along the way. Each "sister" has had a unique affect on me as a person, sometimes good and sometimes bad, but each relationship has left an impression on my spirit. I am so thankful to God that he brought each one of these women into my life to help me grow as a person.

What I have recently discovered is that if my relationship with God is good, then my human relationships are good as well. If I can see people through God's eyes and not mine, then I can truly love that person. I forget about their shortcomings, but focus on their positive traits. I can laugh at my child's trantrum; I can love my husband even when he leaves his clothes on the floor; I don't get offended when a friend calls only when she needs something; I can smile at the stranger I pass on the street; I can love the unloveable.

I'm thankful for relationships. God is good!

Andrew's cool trick!

2007-11-11T13:20:00.000-06:00

Yes, folks, what you are about to witness is real! This video has not been altered in any way! My 5 year old has discovered the fascinating world of Science. We are thrilled he is so talented...

Super Heroes Unite!

2007-11-10T10:56:00.000-06:00

What a concept: Once a year, we all get to dress up as other people and go to strangers' houses and ask for candy. Halloween reveales our alter-egoes...the Super Heroes inside us all! With mom's birthday being on Halloween, it's even more reason to celebrate! Our neighbor friends joined us for chili, bobbing for apples, cake and trick-or-treating in the neighborhood.

Does life get any better?

Judgment Day

2007-11-01T12:22:00.000-05:00

Sadly, the top news stories this morning was about Westboro Baptist Church in Kansas which was ordered to pay $10.9 million to a deceased soldier's father who recently sued the members for ruining his son's funeral. Apparently, the protesters were going to military funerals and displaying hateful and erroneous signs all in the name of God. Reading the posters with the words: "God Hates Fags" and "Thank God for Dead Soldiers" made my heart hurt and my blood boil. What really got me was a boy around 10 held another slanderous sign, not up above his head, but down at his feet, his eyes looking at the ground and his head held in shame. What future lies ahead for this boy? A life filled with anger, hatred, lies and confusion?

I found myself praying for these misguided and terribly confused people, but my heart ached for the boy. My prayer is that someday someone is going to come into his life and minister to him the real message of God. If God "hates" anything it's sin, not the sinner, but the sin itself. Why this particular group decided to fixate on soldiers and homosexuals is beyond me, but everything they are "protesting" is poison and certainly not biblical.

The bible does speak against homosexuality and says it is sinful; however, so is judging others, pride, gossip, over-indulgence, lying, stealing, blaspheme, bitterness, unforgiveness, hatred, foolishness, etc... God does not rank sin like we do, but considers ALL sin equal. Therefore, none of us can escape it. I must confess, and I'm not boasting, I can sin hourly without even trying. Truth be told, we ALL can! God in his unyielding and overwhelming love for us, saved us from ourselves and sent His son to carry that burden for us! All He asks in return is to love Him; to honor Him; to try to follow Jesus' example; to spread the message about His love.

I want to scream to the protesters until I'm blue in the face that God loves them. Yes, them; He even loves them. He "hates" the venom and evilness they are spewing, but He loves them. I mourn for the lost souls who don't experience the love of our Heavenly Father, for it's a love so pure, so undeniable, so strong. And it's because of that love from God that I am able to say, "Father, please forgive them; for they know not what they do."

Withdrawl from the Fires!!!

2007-10-30T09:23:00.000-05:00

There is a website I go to often called "Laugh at the Liberals" that posted this commentary on how the Democrats view America and the fire situation in Southern California. I think the most frustrating thing about Democrats is that they are so un-American! Everything is Bush's fault, from Global Warming to the Katrina Disaster to the Immigration Problem to the War. The point this caller makes is so appropriate and fitting of how illogical their thinking is.

Sen. Barbara Boxer was all over the media yesterday talking about how the war in Iraq was causing the California fire to burn out of control due to the lack of equipment and manpower available because of National Guard troop deployment. Of course the commander of the National Guard in Calinfornia said they had all the equipment they needed and have received everything they asked for. (I guess he’s a liar just like Petraeus?)

Sen. Harry Reid said global warming was one of the causes of the California fires and of course we all know thats Bush’s fault.

Have these people no shame? Can honest Americans look at this obvious politicization of a horrible disaster and not be disgusted?

A caller to Rush Limbaugh’s program said it best when he asked, Why are’nt the Democrats calling for withdrawl from the fire, just like Iraq? The situation seems similar. A raging fire being pushed by an unstoppable wind. There’s no way we can defeat the fire. Fires have been burning for thousands of years. All we are doing is occupying the fire’s native land. The fire was their first. We’re only there because real estate (oil). All we want to do is control this valuable commodity. GET OUT! Get out now. Our firefighters (troops) are being needlessly sacrificed in a battle they can’t possible win…I mean they’re the best firefighters in the world, don’t get me wrong, I support them 100%, but they are needlessly putting out small, innocent civilian fires, hundreds of them…and in some cases using water to torture the fires until they reveal where other fires are burning….ALL OF THIS APPROVED BY BUSH!….

While thousands of Marines stand-by in Camp Pendleton, waiting for orders to go out and fight the fire, Barbara Boxer (D), wants to bring troops out of Iraq to fight the fire.
Brilliant Barbara, Brilliant!

Global Warming....the new "Religion"

2007-10-27T17:30:00.000-05:00

A dear friend of mine watched an episode of "20/20" the other night about Global Warming. There's another story that the extremists don't want to believe or even be debated. Here's a sample of what 20/20 discovered about Global Warming:

The globe is warming, but is it really all our fault? And is it true the debate is over? No. What you think you know may not be so.

In the movie, for example, Gore says that if we allow the globe to warm, "sea levels worldwide would go up 20 feet." Then he shows his audience terrifying maps of Florida and San Francisco submerged under rising sea levels. But the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, which shared last week's Nobel Prize with Gore, said that would probably take thousands of years to happen. Over the next 100 years, sea levels are expected to rise seven to 24 inches, not 20 feet.
Gore also implies that polar bears are dying off, because receding Arctic ice has forced them to swim longer distances. The kids I interviewed were especially worried about the fate of the polar bears. But the polar bears appear to be doing all right. Future warming may hurt them, but right now data from the World Conservation Union and the U.S. Geological Survey show most populations of polar bears are stable or increasing.

The most impressive demonstration in Gore's movie is that big graph of temperature and carbon dioxide levels stretching back 650,000 years. Carbon dioxide is thought to amplify temperature increases, but his graph seemed to show clear cause and effect: When carbon dioxide levels rose, so did temperature. It suggested that carbon levels controlled temperature. But a real inconvenient truth is that the carbon increase came after temperatures rose, usually hundreds of years later. Temperature went up first.

I wanted to ask Gore about that and other things, but he wouldn't agree to an interview. According to Gore, the "debate is over."

I interviewed some scientists who say the debate is by no means over. John Christy and Roy Spencer won NASA's Medal for Exceptional Achievement for figuring out how to get temperature data from satellites.

"We all agree that it's warmed," Spencer said. "The big question is, and the thing we dispute is, is it because of mankind?"

Climate changes, they say, always has, with or without man. Early last century, even without today's huge output of carbon dioxide, the Arctic went through a warming period.
Greenland's temperatures rose 50 percent faster in the 1920s and reached higher average temperatures in the 1930s and 1940s than today's temperatures.
Some scientists argue the warming might be caused by changes in the sun, or ocean currents, or changes in cloud cover, or other things we don't yet understand. The debate is not over.

But who's to say that yesterday's temperature is the perfect one?

"The fact is, when climate changes, there are gains and there are losses," said Tim Ball, who studies the history of climate change. But, he points out, all we generally hear about is the bad news from the IPCC — that massive group of climate scientists.
Paul Reiter of the Pasteur Institute participated in one of the IPCC drafts and Christy was a contributing author. Both say that this Nobel Prize-winning group is not what people think it is.

"The IPCC is the Inter-governmental Panel on Climate Change," Reiter said. "It is governments who nominate people. You'll find in many chapters that there are people who are not scientists at all." Reiter claims that some of these scientists are "essentially activists" and there are some members with affiliations to groups like Greenpeace.

When the IPCC report came out, not all its members agreed with what was said. "We were not asked to look at a particular statement and sign our names, at all," Christy said.

Reiter felt his objections were ignored and says he resigned in frustration. But in a draft of the report, the IPCC still listed Reiter as a "contributing author" — part of the so-called consensus.
"I contacted the IPCC and I said, 'Look, I've resigned. I don't want to have anything more to do with this.' And they said, 'Well, you've been involved, so you're still on the list.'" Reiter says he had to threaten to sue to get his name removed from the report, although the IPCC denies that.

In all the confusion surrounding the global warming debate, one thing is clear: Global warming activists don't welcome the skepticism.

Those who call their extreme projections into question are compared with Holocaust deniers and accused of being paid off by big business. I've questioned the extreme global warming predictions in the past, and for that I've been branded a "corporate toadie" and a "flat-earther."

I don't mind being called names, but is this what the global warming debate has come to? One side saying, "Shut up. Dissent should not be heard?"

The truth is, that while everyone agrees that the earth has warmed, lots of good scientists don't agree that it's mostly our fault, and don't agree that it's going to be a catastrophe. So when Gore says, "The debate is over," I say, "Give Me a Break!" John Stossel, 20/20

Before I get any hate mail, I just want to add that I'm very pro-green! I recycle (my 17 year old brother accused me of trying to save the Rain Forrest because he saw how much recycling my family contributes); I ask for paper sacks when I grocery shop and sometimes even bring my own sacks; I conserve energy via energy-efficient light bulbs, ceiling fans, car pooling, etc... I totally get that God gave us this Earth to take care of and wastefulness is sinful...but I'm with John Stossel on this one...give me a break! I'm glad that he had the guts to come out and speak on an issue that is so controversial. It's refreshing to hear the flip-side of the story, and fiestiness is always a good thing in my book.

What's wrong with "Prosperity Preaching"?

2007-10-25T15:54:00.000-05:00

When I read or hear about "Prosperity Preaching" I cringe. This particular website called "desiringGod" puts it this way:

"Paul said, 'There is great gain in godliness with contentment, for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world. But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content.' But then he warned against the desire to be rich. And by implication, he warned against preachers who stir up the desire to be rich instead of helping people get rid of it. He warned, 'Those who desire to be rich fall into temptation, into a snare, into many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs' (1 Timothy 6:6-10). So my question for prosperity preachers is: Why would you want to develop a ministry that encourages people to pierce themselves with many pangs and plunge themselves into ruin and destruction?"

Amen, brother! I don't watch very many t.v. Evangelists but I do like to watch Joel Olsteen on occasion. It alarmed me to learn that recently he has been offered $13 million for his new book, plus he drives a Ferrari and lives a lavish lifestyle. I brought this topic up today to some of the woman I do a bible study with. I got some mixed opinions, and quite a few responses that disappointed me. They were of the opinion that if he earned that money outside of the church (like in his book sales) that it was okay that he lived a lavish lifestyle, and they argued, that he could have been given the Ferrari by a church member, and he could be giving most of that $$ away anonymously. Basically, who was I to judge (my words, not theirs). They are right about the judgment part, but I keep going back to scripture on this one. God wants our needs to be met; he wants us to blessed but He never said material possessions, that will rot and rust when we leave this Earth, were particularly apart of His blessings. Here's more of what "finding God" says:

'What is it about Christians that makes them the salt of the earth and the light of the world? It is not wealth. The desire for wealth and the pursuit of wealth tastes and looks just like the world. It does not offer the world anything different from what it already believes in. The great tragedy of prosperity-preaching is that a person does not have to be spiritually awakened in order to embrace it; one needs only to be greedy. Getting rich in the name of Jesus is not the salt of the earth or the light of the world. In this, the world simply sees a reflection of itself. And if it works, they will buy it. '

After pointing the finger at preachers and Evangelist for living a lifestyle I don't feel is Godly, I have to take a look at myself. Can I scale back on my spending? The answer is: absolutely! Can I give more? The answer is: absolutely! Can I be homeless like Jesus? No, because I have a family to raise, but I can desire His ways and not the worlds, which are pure, unselfish, and certainly unmaterialistic! My flesh desires material things and the physical and temporary comfort that money can bring, but my spirit desires Jesus. The next time I desire to spend when I should be giving it away, I need to be reminded that if I died tomorrow is God going to care about the car I drove or the house I lived in or is He going to care how many souls I touched; how much I loved Him; how much I tried to be like Jesus?

I don't know what Joel Olsteen's financial situation is; that's between he and God. I do know that scripture says..."What is hidden, will be revealed." However, I personally think that if you are in a "service-oriented" field, such as a police officer, fireman, teacher, doctor, and preacher or rabbi, etc...you are held to a higher standard. I expect police officers to obey the law because they represent the law. I expect teachers to not seduce their students because they are entrusted with children. I expect preachers to live a lifestyle that is conducive to biblical teachings....aren't they telling the world, via the television and radio, about God and the bible? Is it wrong for me to expect more from them, after all, they are only men/women, flesh-and-blood? Perhaps. All I can do is pray that the men and women who are called into ministry stay grounded in the Word and do what is pleasing to the Lord....and I pray that prayer for myself as well.

What Little Boys Are Made Of

2007-10-18T21:39:00.000-05:00

"And he grew and grew strong as a boy must grow who does not know that he is learning any lessons, and who has nothing in the world to think of except things to eat." ... Rudyard Kipling, "The Jungle Book"

"There comes a time in every rightly constructed boy's life when he has a raging desire to go somewhere and dig for hidden treasure." Mark Twain

"Oh, the eagerness and freshness of Youth! How the boy enjoys his food, his sleep, his sports, his companions, his truant days! His life is an adventure, he is widening his outlook, he is extending his dominion, he is conquering his kingdom. How cheap are his pleasures, how ready his enthusiasms! In boyhood I have had more delight on a haymow with two companions and a big dog -- delight that came nearer intoxication -- than I have ever had in all the subsequent holidays of my life." John Burroughs

I came across this book of quotes about boys that my mother-in-law gave me, and as I read through it, I remembered this picture of Andrew with a frog on his head. He's my all-boy, get-dirty-dig-in-the-dirt, kind of kid. He loves to eat, sleep, laugh, play, to capture bugs or lizards, to dig in the dirt, to pee outside, to strip-down-butt-naked outside on the front lawn not caring who sees him, to burp, to toot (and announce it just in case you didn't hear)...all these things make him so happy!

I have many funny stories about my boys. One in particular sums up the "testosterone-induced-craziness" I'm dealing with. A saleswoman recently came to the house to show me samples of ceramic tile for our hall bath. As she was leaving, and I'm helping her carry her samples to her van, as if planning her exit, Andrew and Aidan simultaneously decide to give her this farewell: Aidan sweetly waves and yells, "Bye-bye Poopie-head" while Andrew pees on the front lawn with his shorts down around his ankles. Alex just stands at the door laughing. I tried to say something clever to the woman like, "Do you know these kids? Who are they and why are they calling me mom?" Good thing she had a sense of humor.

Since I was a girly-girl, and hid in the closet when my boy cousins would chase me with bugs or light fire-crackers just to freak me out, it has been quite an adventure raising boys....but I wouldn't trade it for anything!

Reunion Survivors

2007-10-15T09:26:00.000-05:00

My flash-back in time to 1987 was a wild trip. While 80's music filled the air, familiar faces (and not so familiar ones) took me on a journey to a different era when hair was permed and big, shoulder pads and leggings were hot and Madonna and "The Bangles" were our idols. As I made my way through the crowd, comparing name tags to faces and stopping along the way to hug and chat with an old friend, I realized something: we all grew up! No one had pimples on their faces, braces on their teeth or felt self- conscience that they didn't fit in. We all fit in. The women that I shared childhood with had grown to be beautiful and confident with careers and motherhood under their belts. The guys weren't the boys I remembered but men with pot-bellies, facial hair and (some) bald or grey heads with all of life's experiences written on their faces. I love the grown-ups we had all become!

I wasn't sure what to expect or anticipate, but I left the reunion feeling very thankful that I went. I realized that I had many more good memories than bad. And as I laughed with the friends I shared the 80's with, I realized that we all have a commonality that will forever bind us together....memories. Thanks, class of 1987, for the good times. Go Trojans!

Mercy and Grace

2007-10-12T07:31:00.000-05:00

Self-examination is always a hard process. This week's journey has involved a look inward and whether or not my heart and motives for saying and doing the things I do are always pure. Since I am a mere mortal, I can honestly say, no, they are not. I get angry/irritated when I should be patient. My words aren't always kind. My thoughts aren't always "heavenly". My actions aren't always "Christ-like" but "worldly". It's a daily struggle. I am, after all, a product of two very vocal, opinionated and unique individuals...and I live in this world.

What I've realized is that I'm forgiven. I don't have to be perfect. I should strive to have a pure heart, but I'm going to stumble from time-to-time. When realizing my short-comings, I should make every effort to correct them, ask for forgiveness, and then move on. In reading scripture, I'm reminded over and over about God's mercy and grace. I'm in complete awe of Jesus' example of mercy. Even when being crucified on the cross his thoughts were on forgiveness... "Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do." His compassion towards others, even as they were torturing Him, is the ultimate testimony of love.

"The unfailing love of the Lord never ends! By His mercies we have been kept from complete destruction. Great is His faithfulness; His mercies begin afresh each day." (Lamentations 3:22-23)

A Blessed Day

2007-10-02T20:27:00.000-05:00

My day from 9:30 - 1:45 was spent hand-addressing invitations at Church for a fundraiser/banquet for "Marriage Today", which is a Christian-based-marriage-enrichment program and TV show. The creator and host has preached at our church and was also one of the speakers at the marriage seminar we attended this summer (which, by the way, was the best thing we have done for our marriage).

Thinking that I was going there to serve God really ended up blessing me. Isn't God always like that? I met the most amazing women who had wonderful and miraculous testimonies to share. I left there with three phone numbers, e-mails, hugs and a wealth of knowledge. Since May, God has led me on a journey that only He could do. He seems to always put the right people in my path, to help guide me, encourage me and validate my beliefs and faith. In a world that's so cynical and lost, my spirit has been so thirsty for the comfort that only Jesus can fill. I'm starting to feel differently, think differently and hopefully, act differently. When I was getting impatient with my children this afternoon, clenching my teeth and about to "go off" on them, I felt this small voice inside me say, "Tyra, I am so patient with you. Can't you be patient with them?" I stopped, unclenched, and thought, "Yes, Lord, I can."

My biggest obstacle seems to be talking with non-believers. What has become so apparent to me, is so foreign to them. They think I've gone mad. Being among these women today made me realize how much I needed their encouragement and their wisdom. Some were older than me and some were younger, but they all seemed to have so much faith and trust in the Lord. God knew where my spirit needed to be.

Thursday is a new journey. I'm doing a study called, "Loved By God" with a different group of women from our church. It's a learning process that I'm so thankful God has been so patient in teaching me. It was a good day.

What God Can Do

2007-09-30T21:30:00.003-05:00

Today at church I heard the most amazing testimony by James Robison. It's worth retelling.

James' conception was the result of rape. His father was an alcoholic who raped his 40-year-old single mother. His mother tried to abort him, but the doctor she went to refused so she gave birth and decided to give him to a preacher and his wife. He lived his first 5 years with the preacher (whom he called Daddy) and his wife (Mommy) and visited his mother off and on. Even though the couple wanted to adopt him, his mother refused, and at 5 decided that she was going to take James away from them. James said it was the scariest and saddest moment of his life. He remembers his mommy collapsing and sobbing on the floor and his daddy begging his mother to not take him away. He ran to hide under the bed, but his mother drug him out by his ankles and took him away from the only home he had ever known.

Since his mother didn't have a job, money or a home, they hitchhiked across the country staying with various relatives, friends, or anyone that would open their doors to them. He would sit on the side of the highway on a brown cardboard suitcase that he, to this day, displays in his office. He moved 17 times before he was in the 6th grade, so he never had any friends. His Daddy and Mommy tried to keep in touch with him, sending him letters and gifts, but one day, it all stopped and he didn't know why. He decided that it was because they didn't love him anymore. He grew to trust no one. Later he learned that his mother, because of her jealousy, returned all the gifts to his "adopted" parents and asked them not to send anymore.

It gets worse before it gets better; at 14 his alcoholic father reenters their lives and becomes abusive and one night tries to choke his mother to death. He grabs his rifle, tells his father that if he moves an inch, he will blow a hole into him...and he means it. Shortly after that, his father is sent to prison. At 16 his mother gives him an incredible gift. She says he can go visit the preacher and his wife for a week. Apprehensively, he calls them, not sure if they want to see him, thinking that they have forgotten about him. They both start sobbing on the phone and tell him they will come the next morning to get him. They arrive in an air-conditoned car (which he had never been in) and take him back to the house where he had lived 11 years ago. They shower him with their love and tell him that they never stopped praying for him. In fact, the whole church had been praying for him.

That week, on Sunday night, at his Daddy's church, James listened to the testimonies of the various youth get up and talk about what Jesus meant to them. Sure, James had heard of Jesus, he had tried church and religion before, but these kids were talking about Jesus as if they had a relationship with him. Later his Daddy asked if anyone wanted to ask Jesus into their heart and come to the alter. James wanted to, but he was scared. He looks up and sees his mommy walking down the isle towards him, holding onto her glasses because she is crying so hard, and she grabs James' hand and says, "I'll go with you." For the first time, James felt a love that was indescribable wash over him. He wasn't the bastard child of a rape victim, but a wanted and loved child of God. His life meant something; Jesus was willing to be crucified on a cross and shed his blood so that James could have eternal life. He was free of shame, of anger, of bitterness and unforgiveness because Jesus took that burden on himself; he didn't have to carry it anymore.

By 19, James was a preacher and was traveling and evangelizing with the likes of Billy Graham in football stadiums, coliseums and the largest churches in America. He has led thousands to know Christ. For 20 years he has founded and ran an organization called Life Outreach International that has fed thousands of starving children and since 2000 has drilled more than 1500 wells in villages worldwide.

I had to retell this story because it touched me so much. The power of the holy spirit is so awesome and inspiring! God has used James to fulfil the promise that he has for us all; that we are here for a reason. To love each other; to reach out to the sick, needy, broken souls; to share the good news of Jesus.

Now I have shared it with you.

20 years???

2007-09-30T07:43:00.000-05:00

My 20 year high school reunion is fast approaching. I'm amazed it's been that long...can I really be this old? What happened to the girl that could eat anything and never gain a pound? Those days are long gone, but actually, I wouldn't trade places with her. My high school memories leave me feeling sad for that girl I remember. She was unsure of herself; she was searching for love in all the wrong places (isn't that a song?); she wasn't happy. If I could take a time capsule backwards to 1985-1987, I would do it all so differently. Even though painful, I suppose that time in my life were growing pains that needed to be experienced.

So on October 13th I will relive some of those memories, and hopefully, find some good ones along the way. I will see familiar faces that were apart of that experience for me and wonder how many I will recognize. For some reason, I want to vindicate that teenage girl and show them the woman I have become. In actuality, I'm sure that's why a lot of people go to their high school reunions; not to relive the good ole days, but to prove that they survived.

Here's to the survivors! I'll see you soon.

2007-09-27T21:36:00.001-05:00

Click and watch! So cute!
http://flagrantdisregard.com/index.php/2007/09/17/parenting-in-d/

A Mother's Love

2007-09-26T11:36:00.000-05:00

After reading my cousin's blog on her parents, it inspired me to write something about my mom and motherhood. So mom, this is dedicated to you.

I feel so blessed to be a woman. How amazing it is that God gave us the ability to give life; to feel a child kicking in your womb and knowing that he/she is growing inside you. There is no greater gift, but with that gift comes great responsibility. I sometimes wonder if I am up for the task. I worry that I'm not wise enough, patient enough, playful enough. I spend my days reinventing ways to discipline my children using charts, checks, threats, bribes. I read all the latest child-rearing books, and yet, I still feel inadequate as a mother. One thing I know for sure: I love them. I hope they know how much they are truly loved.

Having my own children made me appreciate my mother so much. It has taken me a long time to realize just how wise my mother is; how strong she is; how unconditional her love is. Except for God's love, I will never experience another love so devoted and pure. My mother gives herself fully to me and is always my biggest champion. She believes I can do anything! She once said that she was put on this earth to be my mother; I gave her a purpose. I feel so blessed that she raised me to love God, and although I haven't always lived my life for Him, she never stopped praying for me. She sacrificed so much as a single mom, worked so hard and always had my best interest at heart. I regret not taking all the advice she gave me because most of the time, she was right. Now, I value her opinion so much and learn from her daily. She is my friend, my rock, my Spiritual mentor, but most of all...she is my mother.

Thank you, mom, for giving me life and for your unconditional love. I hope you know how much you are truly loved.

The Big "7"

2007-09-19T07:53:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, we celebrated Alex's 7th birthday! It proved to be a sensational event for us all...and I got some good lessons to boot. Here's how it unfolded:

Alex's day was to begin with a birthday announcement and dance on the O.C. Taylor Morning Show! He was very excited and gave me a sample of his birthday dance while I was preparing his breakfast. I tenderly explained that he might not want to flail his arms about as to not hit the kid next to him...I wonder if he took my advice? Rod and I promised we would meet him for lunch in the cafeteria, and after careful and precise instructions, I brought him some Chick-Fe-Le chicken strips, honey-mustard sauce, fries and a Sprite. Rod was a big hit with the first-grade girls that joined us at our table...he has such a way with the ladies! While the boy sitting next to Alex decided to put his cucumber slices on his eyes, which promptly fell into his tomato soup, the girls sitting across from me told me their life-stories (apparently, a lot has happened in their 6 years of life). Whew, girls can talk! When asking boys about their day, I usually get one-syllable answers such as: "nah", "yeah", "fine", "good". I received a good lesson about little girls that day: they are just as silly (if not more) as boys and they like bathroom humor just as much. It was an eventful lunch!

The rest of my afternoon was spent cleaning, wrapping presents and baking a cake, which Aidan decided to stab with the butter knife when I left to answer the phone. Another good lesson: Icing and sprinkles can disguise any imperfections.

I had made reservations for Alex's favorite Italian Restaurant, and the boys and I met Rod, Mam-maw and Grandma Pat and Pa promptly at 6:00 pm. Lesson number three: Always drink wine when going out to eat with three boys.

Afterwards, we came back to our house for cake, ice cream and opening presents. We invited our neighbors and their children over too. Lesson number four: don't bother mopping the kitchen floors before company arrives; it's a waste of time.

After tucking my older boys into bed last night, I was dog tired, but happy. I kissed my husband and said, "We have a good life." We are blessed.

Happy Birthday, Alex!

Back to Reality

2007-09-06T07:16:00.000-05:00

!Hola Amigos y Amigas! We safely arrived yesterday from our vacation rendezvous in Playa Del Carmen...and back to reality! We were so elated to see the boys, my mom, Liza, Maggie and our house...but three temper tantrums later, I woefully said to Rod, "I think our vacation is over!"

Our time spent in Playa was the most disgusting display of laziness one has ever witnessed. We slept late, ate breakfast, laid out on the beach or pool, drank cocktails, took naps, ate lunch, laid out some more, drank some more, ate dinner, took a midnight stroll or gab fest on the beach, played ping pong or pool in the game room, went to bed and started it all over again the next day. We varied our meals, our clothing and bathing suits and we did go to the local markets to barter and to get massages (the best I'd ever had); otherwise, we relished every moment of degeneracy that we could muster. Rod and I discovered we were quite skilled at doing nothing and decided that we could definitely get used to our new lifestyle. Perhaps we held the winning $369 million lottery ticket we purchased before we left for vacation...our return marked the beginning of a new life where we could retire to a secluded tropical paradise...but, alas, it was not meant to be...a man in Houston (and 3 out-of-staters) claimed our prize. Hopefully, they are as skilled as we are at doing nothing.

Besides our slovenness, we laughed...and I mean we laughed a lot. It was as cleansing to my soul as the R&R. Our trip mates were my in-laws, Pat and Van, and our friends and neighbors, Allen and Mette. This unique combination of individuals, including ourselves, made for quite a humor-filled 5 days. It started when we arrived at the airport and Van and Mette were singled out as "Special Security Check". They both look very suspicious; after all, most terrorists are grumpy 68 year-old bald men and fair, petite women from Norway. They didn't fool anyone. I, however, was offered to be accompanied on my trip by one of the stellar security guards who was standing by a sign that read "No jokes, please" while poor Van and Mette were being stripped searched and put into a capsule that shot fast and loud puffs of air all over their bodies. I later learned that this was to detect any chemicals or powders that they could have been using to make a bomb. Their shoes, belts, glasses, wallets, etc...were tested for residue. I now felt extremely confident my companions were not going to hijack our plane. However, I was somewhat suspicious of "Gus" in airport security....he was still smiling at me.

Some other highlights were, of course, Van's amazing "9-lives" that he continues to tempt fate with. He tends to be accident prone, but even with a fall down the resort lobby stairs and a backward somersault out of his beach chair, he only got a sprained ankle. Which we somehow have several pictures of.

Rod decided to liven up our party by daring Allen to do embarrassing, dangerous, or ridiculous acts for a nominal fee. We dubbed Allen "Rod's Dare-Whore". I finally had to put an end to this after I realized Rod was throwing our money away so he could watch Allen jump into a waterfall and pose for pictures like a super model. I mean, enough was enough!

Awww such memories! It was the best of times....:)

You Can't Take It With You....

2007-08-29T20:30:00.000-05:00

Soon Rod and I will both be out of the country, so we decided to get our Will updated. Even though one knows that death is an inevitable part of life, it's a strange thought to ponder...especially when you have young children. Thinking about leaving my mom and children behind makes my heart ache; however, I'm not afraid to die. After listening to the recent series on heaven at church, it actually gives me great comfort and anticipation towards my afterlife. It is the people I would leave behind that makes me want to cling to life.

The day after we updated our Will, Leona Helmsley died. The headlines read: "Leona Helmsley leaves $12 million to her dog." Upon reading the rest of the story, you realize that this woman went to her grave with hatred, bitterness and unforgiveness in her heart. How unfortunate that a person chooses this path. The starving children in Africa, the homeless lying on the streets of America, all abused and neglected souls surely could have used some of that $12 million, but instead a dog named "Trouble" will reap the rewards. It made me sad for Leona Helmsley that she lived 87 years on this Earth and obviously never"got" it...that is, the true meaning of life. It also made me look inward and ask myself, "Are YOU getting it?" What am I doing to make the world a better place? When I meet my maker, will I struggle to tell Him about my kindness, my humility, my service or my forgiving heart? I hope not. I don't want to waste this precious life He gave me; and at the end of it, I want to really get it!

To all my 5 readers...bonvoyage...I'll update my blog next week!