While You Were Sleeping

Casting Crowns has an amazing song called "While You Were Sleeping" that I just added to my play list. Gosh, this song has so stirred my spirit this Christmas season. I never intentionally set out to be so self-absorbed that I miss Him...and yet, ashamedly, I must confess, lately I have missed His true message for me. I have allowed outside circumstances to take away my joy instead of realizing who I am and to whom I belong! I have given into anxiety, raw emotions and worry. After slumbering in my flesh, I have finally opened my ears to hear Him. Really hear Him. You see, He never yells or screams but whispers softly. Until I can get me (or the world) out of my head, it's the only voice I can hear. Thankfully, I'm not asleep anymore and He isn't silent! Thank you, Lord, for awakening my spirit through this song.

This is what He tells me: "Do you know how much I love you? Do you know that you were bought with a price? Do you know to whom you belong? You belong to: The King of Kings, the Prince of Peace, the Almighty God! Why do you slumber in your flesh? Don't stay asleep, Tyra. Open your spiritual ears to hear my sweet, gentle voice. The Holy Spirit never leaves you; He is as close as the air you breathe. You are not alone. Cast your cares on Me, my sweet girl. I love you...not because of who you are but because of who I am. Nothing...NOTHING can separate my love for you."

What is He saying to you? Do you need to get the world out of your head so you can hear Him? Don't slumber and miss the message He has for you. Allow Him to love on you...it's just what He does and who He is! It's ALL good....

Thankfulness

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. What an amazing time of reflection to count one's blessings! It warms my heart to think that for one day, we, as a Nation, can stop our busy lives, join together and say "I'm thankful." That is a TRUE reason to celebrate!

I sometimes wonder if the Lord gets so tired of our grumbling; of our complaining; of our ungratefulness. I know as a parent, it's tiresome when I hear ungratefulness from my children. I feel ashamed when I "hear" it from me. Even though my life is far from perfect it's still...so blessed. It's worthy of my gratitude. So...here are my thankful for's:

My Lord...for He has taught me what true love really is.
My husband...for the amazing man he is. He puts up with me! :)
My children...for the way they make me laugh every day.
My mother...for her unconditional love that I know I take for granted!
My relatives...for the memories and life that we have shared.
My health...for the miraculous way God made our bodies.
My friends...for the truly amazing and wonderful women that God has hand-picked just for me!
My home...for it's warmth, coziness and beauty.
My memories...for reflection. Life IS the memories we make...I love making good ones.
My travels...for it's my passion. I LOVE traveling. God always provides a way for me to!
My music...for it's always been my secret desire to be a singer, and in my fantasy world, I'm a good one!
My future...for I know the plans He has for me are good!
My life...for even though I look forward to heaven, I am thankful for this life He has given me.

Dear Lord, thank you for loving me even when I'm unlovable. Thank you for knowing the desires of my heart and caring enough to bless me...even when I don't deserve it. Thank you for turning my sorrow into joy and my pain into gladness! Thank you for never leaving me nor forsaking me....even when I have forsaken you. Thank you for writing on my heart that ALL your plans for me are GOOD! I praise you, Father, for YOU are good! Your blessings are extravagant and your mercies and graces are forever. You are love! I am thankful to be your daughter.

Oh...and I'm also thankful that on Thanksgiving, big thighs are a good thing! :)

My songs

I know, I'm lame. Slowly but surely I am learning new tools to jazz up my blog. Finally, I figured out how to add music, and I'm so excited! A few years ago I discovered the David Crowder Band, and I have to tell you, they really minister to me! Plus, I just adore his voice. What an anointing and blessing to be able to speak into people's lives with music.

The first song on my play list is "How He Love Us" and I passionately believe this is the true testimony of Christians. If we can just remember His love, above everything, nothing else matters; right? Then the second one is "Who Am I?" by Casting Crowns. This reminds me to be humble; after all, who am I that the God of the universe cares to know my name?

Each song is my anthem that gets me through the day and carries me to His throne. I am so thankful for the blessings of these songs.

Confessions of a Mad Housewife

I must confess. Yesterday I had a melt-down. You know, the kind where you just lose it over nothing earth-shattering or life-altering; just one more thing added to your to-do list while the kids are screaming and the dog is barking and the phone is ringing and the dinner is burning... For me, it was the printer. It was just the last straw in another battle of the wills that I had no control over. I just wanted it to print. I thought when we bought a printer that that is what it was created to do: print.

I checked all the major components: Paper tray: full, black ink: brand new, power light: on...the basic needs of the printer were met, and yet, it would not print. The warning message flashed "refill the color ink", but I didn't have or need color ink. I wasn't asking for much; just plain, boring, black and white. Unfortunately, it was not going to print ANYTHING until the color ink cartridge was fully loaded.

"I DON'T NEED COLOR!" I yelled and pulled my hair. It did nothing. Crying didn't help either; I tried that too.

My family didn't understand my melt-down. Really, how could it be explained? I am constantly telling my children to not cry over "spilled milk" so how could I explain my tears of frustration over a printer? As goofy as it sounds, I needed to throw a tantrum. My system was on overload and it was either tears or profanity...or both. I apologized profusely after it was over, but it felt cathartic and cleansing, like a purging of the days' offenses being washed away by my tears.

However, as good as it feels to purge, I'm always left with a nagging feeling that one of these days, in the not-so-far-off future, my boys will be laying on a couch in a sterile office describing their mother's crying melt-downs to a head doctor while he reveals the real reason they can't cry at Hallmark commercials: "It's all your mother's fault!"

So much for tantrums.

A Love that Never Ends

I wonder how many people have truly experienced an unwavering, unending and unconditional love? People hurt, people dissappoint, people break your heart and/or break their promises. I'm so in awe of God's unfailing love. He has never abandoned me; never broken His promises; His loves continues whether I am deserving of it or not (and I'm not, by the way). He wooes me to bask in His love. I am His. Girls, do you realize how freeing that is?

Today in Life Group we were asked to articulate what the Lord means to us. WOW! How do you put that into words? Woman after woman shared their hearts on God's unending and unfailing love. Basically, God's girls say: He is enough. It doesn't matter if we are tall, short, thin, plump, pretty, plain; He thinks we are special. The world may say we don't measure up, but it just doesn't matter. He is enough. We are desperate for Him; we hunger for His precious Holy Spirit; He fills us up. He is our daily bread.

So to all the broken-hearted women who feel useless or used up, seek His love. He is waiting for you. He is enough and His love never ends.

Just sit on the pot

Last Thursday, Aidan awoke me at 4 am complaining of stomach pains. Like any mom of three, I assumed it was nothing and agreed to lay with him while he fell back to sleep. Two hours later, Rod and he were on their way to the emergency room. This felt like deja vu as Aidan has complained and gone to the e.r. before only to discover he needed to pass gas. That was a pretty costly toot.

As Rod pulled up to the e.r., he noticed that Aidan was quiet and calm in his car seat. Rod asked him again if he was sure this wasn't another episode of him just needing to fart. "Dad," he mocked, "I was just being tough." He insisted he was still hurting. Thirty minutes later, after having to wait in a hospital room unseen, Aidan announced: "Let's get out of here, Dad. I just want to go home. It's taking too long." he whined.

After a once over by the e.r. doc on duty, Rod calls me and announces that Aidan has a hernia and needs surgery at Cook's Childrens' Hospital in Ft. Worth. They are coming to get me so I can ride with them. It sounded so serious, but it also didn't feel right. The doctor didn't even take x-rays. After years of watching George Clooney on the tube, I knew that was the first thing a physician should do.

Arriving at Cook's, a female e.r. doc immediately assessed the situation, and within seconds said it wasn't a hernia, but his bladder that was distended. After x-rays were taken (I knew George was right), the problem seemed to be with a huge amount of stool backed-up in his colon that was pressing on his bladder, which was keeping him from urinating. My poor little guy! He was full of crap, literally.

This week we found ourselves back at the doctor's office but this time with our trusted and beloved pediatrician. A day after the e.r. episodes, Aidan had a 102 fever, vomiting and lethargy. Was this all because of the poop or did he pick up a virus in the e.r.? Finally it was decided. An enema was to be performed. Have you tried to do an enema on a four-year-old? Let me just say, it ain't pretty.

So all of this poop business has left me thinking that my favorite comedian, Tim Hawkins, is right: it all boils down to poop. In his act, he makes fun of his southern mother who's remedy for all that ails a person is...to sit on the pot.

Mom: "Just sit on the pot, and you will feel fantastic."
Kid: "But mom, I think I broke my leg"
Mom: "Just sit on the pot!"

Happenings

Wow...it's been awhile since I've written. What can I say? Summer is a beating. Being a person who thrives on a schedule (not to mention a slightly neurotic only-child), the spontaneity of Summer and the abundance of rowdy boys really throws off my balance. I'm comforted by the fact that I'm on the last leg of Summer bliss, and soon my normal routine will restore my equilibrium...or so I'm hoping.

As much as I like to complain about Summer, there have been many wonderful days spent enjoying being lazy and swimming with the boys and friends; Rod and I went on a 5-day, 4 night Jamaican trip, mon; and we got a lot of house projects taken care of. Not too shabby!

Oh, and Andrew lost his first tooth....all is right with the Universe.