In April, my husband and I got a brilliant idea: we would put our house up for sale. Even though naysayers would try to discourage us to not tread this delicate real estate climate, we decided to take the plunge. After all, we weren't desperate to sell and our only reason for doing so was to give our boys a pool. Yes, we would buy a house with a pool and give our boys (and me) some refuge from the long, hot summers of Texas. It was the plan.
If only life were that easy.
In a nutshell, it has been a wild, emotional (for me, not Rod) roller coaster ride dealing with buyers and real estate agents. I have, once again, been faced with the harsh reality that we have very little control over our lives. This is why it is so important to be totally in God's will because whether we like it or not, His will will be done. But some of us have to be beaten over the head to get it....like me.
It started out great. We put our house up for sale, had a few showings and in a matter of 3 weeks, had an offer. However, we soon found ourselves in a web of brutal negotiations and even the buyers' real estate agent was cursing out our real estate agent. (I had no idea bullying was part of an agent's repertoire...but I'm naive that way.) We were threatened with "termination of the contract" if we didn't give into the buyers demands. We didn't budge. They moved forward. Now, with only two days left in their "pending" status on securing their financing, they "may" terminate yet again. It seems that these buyers have decided to put 3 families (ours, the sellers of the house we want to buy and the sellers of the house they need to rent) lives on hold until they make up their minds. The worst part is that I (and the occupants of the house we want to buy) have already started packing! While I am tripping over boxes in my house, and feeling completely sorry for myself, I'm reminded of this certainty: I am not in control.
However, these buyers don't know to whom they are dealing with. For I serve a God who is sovereign. As with ALL things, He works it ALL out for good for those who love Him. This is His personal promise to me, and so, if I do have to unpack, I will thank Him. I will praise Him for knowing our future and directing our paths. AND...this is a big one: I will pray for His mercy and grace on the buyers and the bully real estate agent. For perhaps this is the sole reason why He allowed these people to cross our paths; so that they would be prayed for.
"Thank you, God, for these buyers. Only you know their true intentions, their hearts and their situation. Bless them, Lord. Pour your loving mercy and grace over them. Please help keep my thoughts pure and loving towards them. Show them your love in a huge and substantial way. Give them peace and wisdom as to what to do in this situation. Thank you, God, for the real estate agent. Forgive her for her foul words and manipulative ways. Pour your blessings out on her. Love on her in a such a way that her heart softens towards you. I ask that your mercy and grace overflows for all the families involved. That no bitter feelings will take root. That your sovereign will will be done, in your Holy and precious Name. Amen."
For this I am certain: His mercy and grace is sufficient.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Saturday, March 27, 2010
No Worries...Just Trust
I've been mourning over America this week. Since the signing of the new "health care bill", which will possibly bankrupt us as a Nation and undoubtedly lead us further down the road towards socialism, fear and despair have so gripped my heart. Grief, too, for a nation that was founded under God...for the people...and by the people. We are so far from these ideologies that we scarcely look like the same country. Irresponsible Government bail-outs and sky-rocketing job losses further plague our economy. Furthermore, our relationship with our one true Middle Eastern ally and, most importantly, the Apple of God's eye...Israel...is on the verge of collapse. Our circumstances as a Nation do indeed look bleak.
Since grief is a natural process that is needed to heal aching wounds, I will go there awhile. Ultimately, though, I kneel before my Heavenly Father and ask Him what His truth's are. I talk to Him about my fears, my sadness, my anger, my disappointments. I love His direct and no nonsense response: "Do you trust ME?"
I recently read a friend's blog that pointed out that perhaps Americans have leaned too much on our Nation, on man, on modern medicine, on Government, to be our comforters, security and hope. In other words, we have worshiped the created, not the Creator. WOW! That is powerful stuff! Our greatest sin has been to take our eyes off of the only One who can provide for ALL of our needs! We have become complacent Christians enjoying our freedoms, our full bellies, our lavish lifestyles (compared to 90% of the world) and have forgotten our true callings. He has called us (the body of Christ) to do so much more than what He even did when He walked this earth! That is empowering! He has given us authority (through the Holy Spirit) over sickness, over fear, over grief, disappointment, anger, unforgiveness, etc... We don't have to claim it because it's not ours to claim! How freeing that is to me!
So my answer to his question is: "Yes! I trust you! I have no worries, no fear, no grief. I lay that at your feet, Lord. You, alone, are my refuge, my shelter, my strength. Amen."
"I desire to dwell in the shelter of You, the Most High. I will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of You, Lord, 'You are my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.' " Psm 91: 1-2
"Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze." Isa 43:1-2
"Praise be to You, Lord, for You showed Your wonderful love to me when I was in a besieged city." Psm 31:21
"One thing I ask of You, Lord, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon Your beauty and to seek You in Your temple. For in the day of trouble You will keep me safe in Your dwelling; You will hide me in the shelter of Your tabernacle and set me high upon a rock." Psm 27: 4-5
"Lord of heaven and earth, help me to be still and know you are God; You will be exalted among the nations. You will be exalted in the earth. You, Lord Almighty, are with me; the God of Jacob is my fortress." Psm 46:10-11
"My Father, please help me always to know You are near and not to be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present my requests to You. If I do, Your peace, which transcends all understanding, will guard my heart and mind in Christ Jesus." Phil. 4:5-7
Blessed be His Name!
Since grief is a natural process that is needed to heal aching wounds, I will go there awhile. Ultimately, though, I kneel before my Heavenly Father and ask Him what His truth's are. I talk to Him about my fears, my sadness, my anger, my disappointments. I love His direct and no nonsense response: "Do you trust ME?"
I recently read a friend's blog that pointed out that perhaps Americans have leaned too much on our Nation, on man, on modern medicine, on Government, to be our comforters, security and hope. In other words, we have worshiped the created, not the Creator. WOW! That is powerful stuff! Our greatest sin has been to take our eyes off of the only One who can provide for ALL of our needs! We have become complacent Christians enjoying our freedoms, our full bellies, our lavish lifestyles (compared to 90% of the world) and have forgotten our true callings. He has called us (the body of Christ) to do so much more than what He even did when He walked this earth! That is empowering! He has given us authority (through the Holy Spirit) over sickness, over fear, over grief, disappointment, anger, unforgiveness, etc... We don't have to claim it because it's not ours to claim! How freeing that is to me!
So my answer to his question is: "Yes! I trust you! I have no worries, no fear, no grief. I lay that at your feet, Lord. You, alone, are my refuge, my shelter, my strength. Amen."
"I desire to dwell in the shelter of You, the Most High. I will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of You, Lord, 'You are my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.' " Psm 91: 1-2
"Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze." Isa 43:1-2
"Praise be to You, Lord, for You showed Your wonderful love to me when I was in a besieged city." Psm 31:21
"One thing I ask of You, Lord, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon Your beauty and to seek You in Your temple. For in the day of trouble You will keep me safe in Your dwelling; You will hide me in the shelter of Your tabernacle and set me high upon a rock." Psm 27: 4-5
"Lord of heaven and earth, help me to be still and know you are God; You will be exalted among the nations. You will be exalted in the earth. You, Lord Almighty, are with me; the God of Jacob is my fortress." Psm 46:10-11
"My Father, please help me always to know You are near and not to be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present my requests to You. If I do, Your peace, which transcends all understanding, will guard my heart and mind in Christ Jesus." Phil. 4:5-7
Blessed be His Name!
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
The Game That NEVER Ends
Aidan, my 5-year-old, has always been into games. Between the ages of 2 and 3, it was CandyLand. I played CandyLand even in my dreams, because during my waking hours spent with Aidan, it just wasn't enough! (Perhaps this is why I gained 5 pounds during that time...hmmmm?) At 4, he moved on to "Guess Who?" and Dominoes, which were a bit more challenging, but equally as consuming, since this also required my undying devotion. (Moms are such suckers.) Now, it's UNO. I must admit, it's a card game that the whole family is enjoying, but like anything that is overdone, it has started to grate on my nerves. You see, Aidan is very passionate about the games he loves. He must play them over and over and over until he gets the very essence and being of the game itself. It is exhausting. I find myself daydreaming about joyfully shredding each and every card until there is nothing left but a pile of UNO confetti...um...sorry...did I say that outloud?
Anyway, the best part of the madness is observing he and my mom play these games. Linda is a barracuda when it comes to competitive sports, games or challenges. She plays to WIN! (Never mind that her opponent is her 5-year-old grandson...that's not the point...or so I'm told.) Aidan is equally competitive, and so the battle of the wills actually becomes my comedic relief with this twisted but hilarious duo. Battle cries are sung throughout the house as the two duke it out for the very last card to be laid down. Screams of joy, anger and "you cheated!" (mostly by my mom) are yelled out in angst! All the while, I'm doing the happy dance in the bedroom, singing praises to the Lord that he has given me a reprieve, and thanking Him for grandmothers! (Apparently they are suckers too!)
And then, the inevitable happens...my mother goes home. As if on cue, a sweet, smiling face with Cheezit crumbs still stuck to his lips and a stack of cards held tightly in his chubby little hands, comes looking for me with a longing in his eyes. Never mind that I'm in the shower...this is an UNO emergency! The game must go ON...and on...and on...and I am once again...a SUCKER!
Anyway, the best part of the madness is observing he and my mom play these games. Linda is a barracuda when it comes to competitive sports, games or challenges. She plays to WIN! (Never mind that her opponent is her 5-year-old grandson...that's not the point...or so I'm told.) Aidan is equally competitive, and so the battle of the wills actually becomes my comedic relief with this twisted but hilarious duo. Battle cries are sung throughout the house as the two duke it out for the very last card to be laid down. Screams of joy, anger and "you cheated!" (mostly by my mom) are yelled out in angst! All the while, I'm doing the happy dance in the bedroom, singing praises to the Lord that he has given me a reprieve, and thanking Him for grandmothers! (Apparently they are suckers too!)
And then, the inevitable happens...my mother goes home. As if on cue, a sweet, smiling face with Cheezit crumbs still stuck to his lips and a stack of cards held tightly in his chubby little hands, comes looking for me with a longing in his eyes. Never mind that I'm in the shower...this is an UNO emergency! The game must go ON...and on...and on...and I am once again...a SUCKER!
Saturday, January 16, 2010
OOPS...I did it again!
If anyone knows me, they know I'm the queen of blunders....so it's not too shocking that I did it again! I will be the first person to admit...I am completely flawed, and by His grace, do I try daily to lay down my flesh and be in this world but not of it. It's a hard and humbling process! But ultimately, it brings me closer to Him. Isn't that what the true meaning of life is?
So my mistake was: I sent out an email to what I thought was only for my Lifegroup sisters (aka...wawa sistas), and accidentally sent it out to EVERYONE in my email address. When I discovered my mistake, I panicked. What I wrote wouldn't be understood by the secular world and I felt almost immediate scrutiny would follow. So I tried to solve the problem by sending out another email stating my mistake and that it was ONLY for my bible study. Unfortunately, not everyone complied and my sweet sisters hit "return all" in their response to me. The result was not good; hurtful words were expressed by some. I felt terrible! This was in no way shape or form meant to be a debate, but a question and an understanding to my sweet sisters who know my heart and who also know the Lord and His word. What a mess! Thankfully, my bible study leader and God put an end to it. No one else commented after her email. Thank you God! Not surprisingly, (since Stacey and Cathy both prayed that the Lord would block or take back most of these emails) several people didn't even get them! God, always shows up, doesn't He?
Here's what I have learned through this process...God is merciful and gracious! Also, that He turns EVERYTHING into good for those who love Him...which just happens to be my favorite scripture; one that is written on the soul of my heart. I also saw God's hand throughout this whole process. Endless, countless, amazing words and prayers were spoken over me....reminding me that mistakes happen and that those who truly know me and my heart, understand that I search for answers about Him. It's just what I do. I also realized how many people love me! That's ALWAYS a good thing! To my amazing friends who I have so much respect, love and gratitude for, here's a shout out to you: Stacey, Jennifer A., Anna, Cathy, Terri, Robin, Darlene, Dottie, Crissie, Beth, my mom, aunt Sandra, cousin Georgia, Jacqueline, Kristi, Pat, Melissa, Jennifer G., and countless of others to whom I felt I owed an apology to for bringing them into this awkward situation. You inspire me beyond belief! You breathed life and love into my spirit the last couple of days which I can honestly say was the BEST thing that could have happened to me! Thank you doesn't even begin to express my gratitude!
Regarding my email...well, I am not ashamed about it. For those of you who know my heart (and apparently most do), you know that I was in no way, shape or form, trying to imply that I want something tragic to happen to anyone. What I do know is this: God's ways and thoughts are not ours. I don't believe in coincidences; so therefore, I search for answers as to why things happen; not just blow them off as random circumstance. I search the bible and what His word says about His ways. I ask people whom I trust to help me understand Him and His ways. I am not ashamed of that. And most importantly, God isn't ashamed of me, but is so happy that I look for answers about Him. I also know that God sometimes allows trials to bring us closer to Him.
For those who were upset that you received my email, I am truly sorry. I am not sorry for my email, but I am sorry that I accidentally sent it to you. That is a mistake I hope I never make again. But guess what? I will make another blunder because I am an imperfect, flawed person. So if I do, please forgive me in advance. Please try to understand the true intentions of my heart and give me the benefit of the doubt. I promise, I will do the same for you. I love you, sweet ones, and NEVER want to cause you pain! There are no hard feelings on my part.
Lastly, the most important thing about this trial was: we all prayed fervently for the Haitans. Isn't that what God really wanted to happen? His glory was revealed in the end.
So my mistake was: I sent out an email to what I thought was only for my Lifegroup sisters (aka...wawa sistas), and accidentally sent it out to EVERYONE in my email address. When I discovered my mistake, I panicked. What I wrote wouldn't be understood by the secular world and I felt almost immediate scrutiny would follow. So I tried to solve the problem by sending out another email stating my mistake and that it was ONLY for my bible study. Unfortunately, not everyone complied and my sweet sisters hit "return all" in their response to me. The result was not good; hurtful words were expressed by some. I felt terrible! This was in no way shape or form meant to be a debate, but a question and an understanding to my sweet sisters who know my heart and who also know the Lord and His word. What a mess! Thankfully, my bible study leader and God put an end to it. No one else commented after her email. Thank you God! Not surprisingly, (since Stacey and Cathy both prayed that the Lord would block or take back most of these emails) several people didn't even get them! God, always shows up, doesn't He?
Here's what I have learned through this process...God is merciful and gracious! Also, that He turns EVERYTHING into good for those who love Him...which just happens to be my favorite scripture; one that is written on the soul of my heart. I also saw God's hand throughout this whole process. Endless, countless, amazing words and prayers were spoken over me....reminding me that mistakes happen and that those who truly know me and my heart, understand that I search for answers about Him. It's just what I do. I also realized how many people love me! That's ALWAYS a good thing! To my amazing friends who I have so much respect, love and gratitude for, here's a shout out to you: Stacey, Jennifer A., Anna, Cathy, Terri, Robin, Darlene, Dottie, Crissie, Beth, my mom, aunt Sandra, cousin Georgia, Jacqueline, Kristi, Pat, Melissa, Jennifer G., and countless of others to whom I felt I owed an apology to for bringing them into this awkward situation. You inspire me beyond belief! You breathed life and love into my spirit the last couple of days which I can honestly say was the BEST thing that could have happened to me! Thank you doesn't even begin to express my gratitude!
Regarding my email...well, I am not ashamed about it. For those of you who know my heart (and apparently most do), you know that I was in no way, shape or form, trying to imply that I want something tragic to happen to anyone. What I do know is this: God's ways and thoughts are not ours. I don't believe in coincidences; so therefore, I search for answers as to why things happen; not just blow them off as random circumstance. I search the bible and what His word says about His ways. I ask people whom I trust to help me understand Him and His ways. I am not ashamed of that. And most importantly, God isn't ashamed of me, but is so happy that I look for answers about Him. I also know that God sometimes allows trials to bring us closer to Him.
For those who were upset that you received my email, I am truly sorry. I am not sorry for my email, but I am sorry that I accidentally sent it to you. That is a mistake I hope I never make again. But guess what? I will make another blunder because I am an imperfect, flawed person. So if I do, please forgive me in advance. Please try to understand the true intentions of my heart and give me the benefit of the doubt. I promise, I will do the same for you. I love you, sweet ones, and NEVER want to cause you pain! There are no hard feelings on my part.
Lastly, the most important thing about this trial was: we all prayed fervently for the Haitans. Isn't that what God really wanted to happen? His glory was revealed in the end.
Saturday, December 26, 2009
A Mother's Love
One of the hardest thing about being a parent is having to walk with your children during their hurts. Whether it's nursing them back to physical health, or mending their spirit through a heart ache, it's a painful process. When they hurt, I hurt. Motherhood truly keeps me on my knees and humble before the Lord!
My mother has always been my best champion. No matter what my pain is, whether physical or emotional, I've always run to my mom to nurse me back to health. When I was a little girl, I loved listening to my mother's fervent prayers. I still do. At 41 years of age, the little girl inside me still needs her to cheer me on, pray for me or mourn with me while my heart breaks. It's just what most moms do....or, more specifically, it's what she does. What an amazing blessing that I know I take for granted!
The last three years I have been on a spiritual quest. At 38, I finally found the Lord of my childhood, but it hasn't been an easy road. Walking in the spirit but living in this world can be challenging....and heart breaking at times. At the end of the day, though, I know that it's my mother's early teachings, her fervent prayers and her unconditional love for me that ultimately helped me see God's true face.
What an amazing influence we mothers have on our children's lives! How incredibly important it is that we get it right...because one day they may need to see God's face through our unconditional love for them.
Since it's the day after Christmas, I can't help but think of the ultimate mother...Mary. What incredible heartache she endured being the mother of Jesus. Unfathomable, unspeakable heartache...even though she knew the outcome was for good, her mother's heart had to have been broken many times. Even Jesus, dying on the cross, worried about his mother's emotional pain. He hurt because she hurt. True love is like that, though. It's not always carefree and easy; sometimes there is tremendous pain involved; sometimes there is sacrifice and selflessness, but that's what makes it real.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
While You Were Sleeping
Casting Crowns has an amazing song called "While You Were Sleeping" that I just added to my play list. Gosh, this song has so stirred my spirit this Christmas season. I never intentionally set out to be so self-absorbed that I miss Him...and yet, ashamedly, I must confess, lately I have missed His true message for me. I have allowed outside circumstances to take away my joy instead of realizing who I am and to whom I belong! I have given into anxiety, raw emotions and worry. After slumbering in my flesh, I have finally opened my ears to hear Him. Really hear Him. You see, He never yells or screams but whispers softly. Until I can get me (or the world) out of my head, it's the only voice I can hear. Thankfully, I'm not asleep anymore and He isn't silent! Thank you, Lord, for awakening my spirit through this song.
This is what He tells me: "Do you know how much I love you? Do you know that you were bought with a price? Do you know to whom you belong? You belong to: The King of Kings, the Prince of Peace, the Almighty God! Why do you slumber in your flesh? Don't stay asleep, Tyra. Open your spiritual ears to hear my sweet, gentle voice. The Holy Spirit never leaves you; He is as close as the air you breathe. You are not alone. Cast your cares on Me, my sweet girl. I love you...not because of who you are but because of who I am. Nothing...NOTHING can separate my love for you."
What is He saying to you? Do you need to get the world out of your head so you can hear Him? Don't slumber and miss the message He has for you. Allow Him to love on you...it's just what He does and who He is! It's ALL good....
This is what He tells me: "Do you know how much I love you? Do you know that you were bought with a price? Do you know to whom you belong? You belong to: The King of Kings, the Prince of Peace, the Almighty God! Why do you slumber in your flesh? Don't stay asleep, Tyra. Open your spiritual ears to hear my sweet, gentle voice. The Holy Spirit never leaves you; He is as close as the air you breathe. You are not alone. Cast your cares on Me, my sweet girl. I love you...not because of who you are but because of who I am. Nothing...NOTHING can separate my love for you."
What is He saying to you? Do you need to get the world out of your head so you can hear Him? Don't slumber and miss the message He has for you. Allow Him to love on you...it's just what He does and who He is! It's ALL good....
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Thankfulness
Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. What an amazing time of reflection to count one's blessings! It warms my heart to think that for one day, we, as a Nation, can stop our busy lives, join together and say "I'm thankful." That is a TRUE reason to celebrate!
I sometimes wonder if the Lord gets so tired of our grumbling; of our complaining; of our ungratefulness. I know as a parent, it's tiresome when I hear ungratefulness from my children. I feel ashamed when I "hear" it from me. Even though my life is far from perfect it's still...so blessed. It's worthy of my gratitude. So...here are my thankful for's:
My Lord...for He has taught me what true love really is.
My husband...for the amazing man he is. He puts up with me! :)
My children...for the way they make me laugh every day.
My mother...for her unconditional love that I know I take for granted!
My relatives...for the memories and life that we have shared.
My health...for the miraculous way God made our bodies.
My friends...for the truly amazing and wonderful women that God has hand-picked just for me!
My home...for it's warmth, coziness and beauty.
My memories...for reflection. Life IS the memories we make...I love making good ones.
My travels...for it's my passion. I LOVE traveling. God always provides a way for me to!
My music...for it's always been my secret desire to be a singer, and in my fantasy world, I'm a good one!
My future...for I know the plans He has for me are good!
My life...for even though I look forward to heaven, I am thankful for this life He has given me.
Dear Lord, thank you for loving me even when I'm unlovable. Thank you for knowing the desires of my heart and caring enough to bless me...even when I don't deserve it. Thank you for turning my sorrow into joy and my pain into gladness! Thank you for never leaving me nor forsaking me....even when I have forsaken you. Thank you for writing on my heart that ALL your plans for me are GOOD! I praise you, Father, for YOU are good! Your blessings are extravagant and your mercies and graces are forever. You are love! I am thankful to be your daughter.
Oh...and I'm also thankful that on Thanksgiving, big thighs are a good thing! :)
I sometimes wonder if the Lord gets so tired of our grumbling; of our complaining; of our ungratefulness. I know as a parent, it's tiresome when I hear ungratefulness from my children. I feel ashamed when I "hear" it from me. Even though my life is far from perfect it's still...so blessed. It's worthy of my gratitude. So...here are my thankful for's:
My Lord...for He has taught me what true love really is.
My husband...for the amazing man he is. He puts up with me! :)
My children...for the way they make me laugh every day.
My mother...for her unconditional love that I know I take for granted!
My relatives...for the memories and life that we have shared.
My health...for the miraculous way God made our bodies.
My friends...for the truly amazing and wonderful women that God has hand-picked just for me!
My home...for it's warmth, coziness and beauty.
My memories...for reflection. Life IS the memories we make...I love making good ones.
My travels...for it's my passion. I LOVE traveling. God always provides a way for me to!
My music...for it's always been my secret desire to be a singer, and in my fantasy world, I'm a good one!
My future...for I know the plans He has for me are good!
My life...for even though I look forward to heaven, I am thankful for this life He has given me.
Dear Lord, thank you for loving me even when I'm unlovable. Thank you for knowing the desires of my heart and caring enough to bless me...even when I don't deserve it. Thank you for turning my sorrow into joy and my pain into gladness! Thank you for never leaving me nor forsaking me....even when I have forsaken you. Thank you for writing on my heart that ALL your plans for me are GOOD! I praise you, Father, for YOU are good! Your blessings are extravagant and your mercies and graces are forever. You are love! I am thankful to be your daughter.
Oh...and I'm also thankful that on Thanksgiving, big thighs are a good thing! :)
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