I know, I'm lame. Slowly but surely I am learning new tools to jazz up my blog. Finally, I figured out how to add music, and I'm so excited! A few years ago I discovered the David Crowder Band, and I have to tell you, they really minister to me! Plus, I just adore his voice. What an anointing and blessing to be able to speak into people's lives with music.
The first song on my play list is "How He Love Us" and I passionately believe this is the true testimony of Christians. If we can just remember His love, above everything, nothing else matters; right? Then the second one is "Who Am I?" by Casting Crowns. This reminds me to be humble; after all, who am I that the God of the universe cares to know my name?
Each song is my anthem that gets me through the day and carries me to His throne. I am so thankful for the blessings of these songs.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Confessions of a Mad Housewife
I must confess. Yesterday I had a melt-down. You know, the kind where you just lose it over nothing earth-shattering or life-altering; just one more thing added to your to-do list while the kids are screaming and the dog is barking and the phone is ringing and the dinner is burning... For me, it was the printer. It was just the last straw in another battle of the wills that I had no control over. I just wanted it to print. I thought when we bought a printer that that is what it was created to do: print.
I checked all the major components: Paper tray: full, black ink: brand new, power light: on...the basic needs of the printer were met, and yet, it would not print. The warning message flashed "refill the color ink", but I didn't have or need color ink. I wasn't asking for much; just plain, boring, black and white. Unfortunately, it was not going to print ANYTHING until the color ink cartridge was fully loaded.
"I DON'T NEED COLOR!" I yelled and pulled my hair. It did nothing. Crying didn't help either; I tried that too.
My family didn't understand my melt-down. Really, how could it be explained? I am constantly telling my children to not cry over "spilled milk" so how could I explain my tears of frustration over a printer? As goofy as it sounds, I needed to throw a tantrum. My system was on overload and it was either tears or profanity...or both. I apologized profusely after it was over, but it felt cathartic and cleansing, like a purging of the days' offenses being washed away by my tears.
However, as good as it feels to purge, I'm always left with a nagging feeling that one of these days, in the not-so-far-off future, my boys will be laying on a couch in a sterile office describing their mother's crying melt-downs to a head doctor while he reveals the real reason they can't cry at Hallmark commercials: "It's all your mother's fault!"
So much for tantrums.
I checked all the major components: Paper tray: full, black ink: brand new, power light: on...the basic needs of the printer were met, and yet, it would not print. The warning message flashed "refill the color ink", but I didn't have or need color ink. I wasn't asking for much; just plain, boring, black and white. Unfortunately, it was not going to print ANYTHING until the color ink cartridge was fully loaded.
"I DON'T NEED COLOR!" I yelled and pulled my hair. It did nothing. Crying didn't help either; I tried that too.
My family didn't understand my melt-down. Really, how could it be explained? I am constantly telling my children to not cry over "spilled milk" so how could I explain my tears of frustration over a printer? As goofy as it sounds, I needed to throw a tantrum. My system was on overload and it was either tears or profanity...or both. I apologized profusely after it was over, but it felt cathartic and cleansing, like a purging of the days' offenses being washed away by my tears.
However, as good as it feels to purge, I'm always left with a nagging feeling that one of these days, in the not-so-far-off future, my boys will be laying on a couch in a sterile office describing their mother's crying melt-downs to a head doctor while he reveals the real reason they can't cry at Hallmark commercials: "It's all your mother's fault!"
So much for tantrums.
Friday, September 25, 2009
A Love that Never Ends
I wonder how many people have truly experienced an unwavering, unending and unconditional love? People hurt, people dissappoint, people break your heart and/or break their promises. I'm so in awe of God's unfailing love. He has never abandoned me; never broken His promises; His loves continues whether I am deserving of it or not (and I'm not, by the way). He wooes me to bask in His love. I am His. Girls, do you realize how freeing that is?
Today in Life Group we were asked to articulate what the Lord means to us. WOW! How do you put that into words? Woman after woman shared their hearts on God's unending and unfailing love. Basically, God's girls say: He is enough. It doesn't matter if we are tall, short, thin, plump, pretty, plain; He thinks we are special. The world may say we don't measure up, but it just doesn't matter. He is enough. We are desperate for Him; we hunger for His precious Holy Spirit; He fills us up. He is our daily bread.
So to all the broken-hearted women who feel useless or used up, seek His love. He is waiting for you. He is enough and His love never ends.
Today in Life Group we were asked to articulate what the Lord means to us. WOW! How do you put that into words? Woman after woman shared their hearts on God's unending and unfailing love. Basically, God's girls say: He is enough. It doesn't matter if we are tall, short, thin, plump, pretty, plain; He thinks we are special. The world may say we don't measure up, but it just doesn't matter. He is enough. We are desperate for Him; we hunger for His precious Holy Spirit; He fills us up. He is our daily bread.
So to all the broken-hearted women who feel useless or used up, seek His love. He is waiting for you. He is enough and His love never ends.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Just sit on the pot
Last Thursday, Aidan awoke me at 4 am complaining of stomach pains. Like any mom of three, I assumed it was nothing and agreed to lay with him while he fell back to sleep. Two hours later, Rod and he were on their way to the emergency room. This felt like deja vu as Aidan has complained and gone to the e.r. before only to discover he needed to pass gas. That was a pretty costly toot.
As Rod pulled up to the e.r., he noticed that Aidan was quiet and calm in his car seat. Rod asked him again if he was sure this wasn't another episode of him just needing to fart. "Dad," he mocked, "I was just being tough." He insisted he was still hurting. Thirty minutes later, after having to wait in a hospital room unseen, Aidan announced: "Let's get out of here, Dad. I just want to go home. It's taking too long." he whined.
After a once over by the e.r. doc on duty, Rod calls me and announces that Aidan has a hernia and needs surgery at Cook's Childrens' Hospital in Ft. Worth. They are coming to get me so I can ride with them. It sounded so serious, but it also didn't feel right. The doctor didn't even take x-rays. After years of watching George Clooney on the tube, I knew that was the first thing a physician should do.
Arriving at Cook's, a female e.r. doc immediately assessed the situation, and within seconds said it wasn't a hernia, but his bladder that was distended. After x-rays were taken (I knew George was right), the problem seemed to be with a huge amount of stool backed-up in his colon that was pressing on his bladder, which was keeping him from urinating. My poor little guy! He was full of crap, literally.
This week we found ourselves back at the doctor's office but this time with our trusted and beloved pediatrician. A day after the e.r. episodes, Aidan had a 102 fever, vomiting and lethargy. Was this all because of the poop or did he pick up a virus in the e.r.? Finally it was decided. An enema was to be performed. Have you tried to do an enema on a four-year-old? Let me just say, it ain't pretty.
So all of this poop business has left me thinking that my favorite comedian, Tim Hawkins, is right: it all boils down to poop. In his act, he makes fun of his southern mother who's remedy for all that ails a person is...to sit on the pot.
Mom: "Just sit on the pot, and you will feel fantastic."
Kid: "But mom, I think I broke my leg"
Mom: "Just sit on the pot!"
As Rod pulled up to the e.r., he noticed that Aidan was quiet and calm in his car seat. Rod asked him again if he was sure this wasn't another episode of him just needing to fart. "Dad," he mocked, "I was just being tough." He insisted he was still hurting. Thirty minutes later, after having to wait in a hospital room unseen, Aidan announced: "Let's get out of here, Dad. I just want to go home. It's taking too long." he whined.
After a once over by the e.r. doc on duty, Rod calls me and announces that Aidan has a hernia and needs surgery at Cook's Childrens' Hospital in Ft. Worth. They are coming to get me so I can ride with them. It sounded so serious, but it also didn't feel right. The doctor didn't even take x-rays. After years of watching George Clooney on the tube, I knew that was the first thing a physician should do.
Arriving at Cook's, a female e.r. doc immediately assessed the situation, and within seconds said it wasn't a hernia, but his bladder that was distended. After x-rays were taken (I knew George was right), the problem seemed to be with a huge amount of stool backed-up in his colon that was pressing on his bladder, which was keeping him from urinating. My poor little guy! He was full of crap, literally.
This week we found ourselves back at the doctor's office but this time with our trusted and beloved pediatrician. A day after the e.r. episodes, Aidan had a 102 fever, vomiting and lethargy. Was this all because of the poop or did he pick up a virus in the e.r.? Finally it was decided. An enema was to be performed. Have you tried to do an enema on a four-year-old? Let me just say, it ain't pretty.
So all of this poop business has left me thinking that my favorite comedian, Tim Hawkins, is right: it all boils down to poop. In his act, he makes fun of his southern mother who's remedy for all that ails a person is...to sit on the pot.
Mom: "Just sit on the pot, and you will feel fantastic."
Kid: "But mom, I think I broke my leg"
Mom: "Just sit on the pot!"
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Happenings
Wow...it's been awhile since I've written. What can I say? Summer is a beating. Being a person who thrives on a schedule (not to mention a slightly neurotic only-child), the spontaneity of Summer and the abundance of rowdy boys really throws off my balance. I'm comforted by the fact that I'm on the last leg of Summer bliss, and soon my normal routine will restore my equilibrium...or so I'm hoping.
As much as I like to complain about Summer, there have been many wonderful days spent enjoying being lazy and swimming with the boys and friends; Rod and I went on a 5-day, 4 night Jamaican trip, mon; and we got a lot of house projects taken care of. Not too shabby!
Oh, and Andrew lost his first tooth....all is right with the Universe.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Marriage Warfare
I'm disappointed, and admittedly, angry, confused and saddened. I have few answers to my complicated questions: How does love turn to hate? How does commitment and long-suffering suddenly become replaced with infidelity, betrayal and divorce? Marriage has become such a trivial joke that I fear the next generation won't have a clue what it's really about. Or perhaps it will become obsolete altogether; I mean after all, what is the point of taking vows to love and cherish when the majority only mean unless things get tough...then I'm outta here!
For the past few months I've been shocked. More and more married couples with young children are splitting up. Lately, it's been stories about the cheating husband with the live-in nanny (that doesn't even speak English), or the one who runs off to the Caribbean with his new girlfriend, all of whom leave their wives and children behind to pick up the pieces of their shattered lives. It's not always the husband, since apparently, the latest trend is housewives suddenly deciding they are gay and leaving their families for Susie down the street. And each time, my heart breaks. Surely they know what statistics say about children of divorce. Surely, they realize how selfish, callous and cruel their actions are. Surely, it keeps them up at night.
But more importantly, where is the outrage? Other than a befuddled shake of the head and a good gossip session, there doesn't seem to be any. Another broken family; what else is new? Yawn.
Now, with every tabloid and entertainment show announcing the pending divorce of Jon and Kate (plus 8), I'm disgusted. I've followed the show for years and even read Kate's book. I loved the Christian values and dependency on God they seemed to have. Yes, Kate could be controlling and bitchy at times; yes, Jon could be a clueless doormat at times, but that was okay because they were in it for the long haul. For better or worse. After all, they have EIGHT souls depending on that; right?
Although I truly wish each person good will, I hope their show is cancelled. I hope they are so humiliated and humbled that they lie on their faces broken before Him. After being stripped of their pride, perhaps then, will they be able to hear His voice. My prayer is that they can. My prayer is that they will take up their armour and fight...not like a sissy...but a warrior that belongs to the Great I Am. My prayer is that they stand on the truth of His word and defeat the enemy.
I don't have a perfect marriage by ANY stretch of the imagination...and at times, it's still a work in progress...BUT my best moments are when Jesus heals my brokenness. My best moments are when I put my husband first. My best moments are when I actually make the words of the bible be a living testimony. My best moments are because of who He is, not who I am.
Even though they will never know it, a mighty 5 foot tall warrior is praying for the families and marriages of America. The battle WILL be won!
For the past few months I've been shocked. More and more married couples with young children are splitting up. Lately, it's been stories about the cheating husband with the live-in nanny (that doesn't even speak English), or the one who runs off to the Caribbean with his new girlfriend, all of whom leave their wives and children behind to pick up the pieces of their shattered lives. It's not always the husband, since apparently, the latest trend is housewives suddenly deciding they are gay and leaving their families for Susie down the street. And each time, my heart breaks. Surely they know what statistics say about children of divorce. Surely, they realize how selfish, callous and cruel their actions are. Surely, it keeps them up at night.
But more importantly, where is the outrage? Other than a befuddled shake of the head and a good gossip session, there doesn't seem to be any. Another broken family; what else is new? Yawn.
Now, with every tabloid and entertainment show announcing the pending divorce of Jon and Kate (plus 8), I'm disgusted. I've followed the show for years and even read Kate's book. I loved the Christian values and dependency on God they seemed to have. Yes, Kate could be controlling and bitchy at times; yes, Jon could be a clueless doormat at times, but that was okay because they were in it for the long haul. For better or worse. After all, they have EIGHT souls depending on that; right?
Although I truly wish each person good will, I hope their show is cancelled. I hope they are so humiliated and humbled that they lie on their faces broken before Him. After being stripped of their pride, perhaps then, will they be able to hear His voice. My prayer is that they can. My prayer is that they will take up their armour and fight...not like a sissy...but a warrior that belongs to the Great I Am. My prayer is that they stand on the truth of His word and defeat the enemy.
I don't have a perfect marriage by ANY stretch of the imagination...and at times, it's still a work in progress...BUT my best moments are when Jesus heals my brokenness. My best moments are when I put my husband first. My best moments are when I actually make the words of the bible be a living testimony. My best moments are because of who He is, not who I am.
Even though they will never know it, a mighty 5 foot tall warrior is praying for the families and marriages of America. The battle WILL be won!
Friday, June 19, 2009
Brotherly Love
Since I was raised an only child and missed the wonderful world of "sibling rivalry", I am constantly baffled by the fighting and hateful words that my children use towards one another. In an effort to have a kinder and gentler environment, I've been trying to encourage the boys to use more positive, sweet and nice words with one another. Perhaps they are taking it a bit too far.
As we are driving to camp a few days ago, Andrew announces from the back seat, "Hey, sorry, guys...I just tooted." Alex yells from the front seat, "Gross, that STINKS!" Aidan, remembering my pep-talk on brotherly love, proclaims from his car seat, "Oh, I think it smells good, Andrew!" Andrew says sweetly, "Thank you, Aidan." I roll down the car windows in disgust. Complimenting each other on their gassy explosions was not what I had in mind.
Even as I am writing this, I am once again confronted with the painful fact that my words are spoken in vain. As Andrew and Aidan are playing Lego's, each one is excitedly showing me their new creations. I appropriately ooh and awe over the little blocks of plastic that are supposed to resemble a castle or an airplane. "Do you like it, Mommy?" Andrew asks. "Oh, yes!" I reply enthusiastically. "Do you like mine?" Aidan asks curiously. "No, it's weird." Andrew remarks before I can say anything. Aidan is crushed and I am baffled. I want to shake him and yell, "This is the boy who even likes the smell of your farts, for crying out loud, can't you at least like his stupid Lego airplane?!" So much for brotherly love.
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