If anyone knows me, they know I'm the queen of blunders....so it's not too shocking that I did it again! I will be the first person to admit...I am completely flawed, and by His grace, do I try daily to lay down my flesh and be in this world but not of it. It's a hard and humbling process! But ultimately, it brings me closer to Him. Isn't that what the true meaning of life is?
So my mistake was: I sent out an email to what I thought was only for my Lifegroup sisters (aka...wawa sistas), and accidentally sent it out to EVERYONE in my email address. When I discovered my mistake, I panicked. What I wrote wouldn't be understood by the secular world and I felt almost immediate scrutiny would follow. So I tried to solve the problem by sending out another email stating my mistake and that it was ONLY for my bible study. Unfortunately, not everyone complied and my sweet sisters hit "return all" in their response to me. The result was not good; hurtful words were expressed by some. I felt terrible! This was in no way shape or form meant to be a debate, but a question and an understanding to my sweet sisters who know my heart and who also know the Lord and His word. What a mess! Thankfully, my bible study leader and God put an end to it. No one else commented after her email. Thank you God! Not surprisingly, (since Stacey and Cathy both prayed that the Lord would block or take back most of these emails) several people didn't even get them! God, always shows up, doesn't He?
Here's what I have learned through this process...God is merciful and gracious! Also, that He turns EVERYTHING into good for those who love Him...which just happens to be my favorite scripture; one that is written on the soul of my heart. I also saw God's hand throughout this whole process. Endless, countless, amazing words and prayers were spoken over me....reminding me that mistakes happen and that those who truly know me and my heart, understand that I search for answers about Him. It's just what I do. I also realized how many people love me! That's ALWAYS a good thing! To my amazing friends who I have so much respect, love and gratitude for, here's a shout out to you: Stacey, Jennifer A., Anna, Cathy, Terri, Robin, Darlene, Dottie, Crissie, Beth, my mom, aunt Sandra, cousin Georgia, Jacqueline, Kristi, Pat, Melissa, Jennifer G., and countless of others to whom I felt I owed an apology to for bringing them into this awkward situation. You inspire me beyond belief! You breathed life and love into my spirit the last couple of days which I can honestly say was the BEST thing that could have happened to me! Thank you doesn't even begin to express my gratitude!
Regarding my email...well, I am not ashamed about it. For those of you who know my heart (and apparently most do), you know that I was in no way, shape or form, trying to imply that I want something tragic to happen to anyone. What I do know is this: God's ways and thoughts are not ours. I don't believe in coincidences; so therefore, I search for answers as to why things happen; not just blow them off as random circumstance. I search the bible and what His word says about His ways. I ask people whom I trust to help me understand Him and His ways. I am not ashamed of that. And most importantly, God isn't ashamed of me, but is so happy that I look for answers about Him. I also know that God sometimes allows trials to bring us closer to Him.
For those who were upset that you received my email, I am truly sorry. I am not sorry for my email, but I am sorry that I accidentally sent it to you. That is a mistake I hope I never make again. But guess what? I will make another blunder because I am an imperfect, flawed person. So if I do, please forgive me in advance. Please try to understand the true intentions of my heart and give me the benefit of the doubt. I promise, I will do the same for you. I love you, sweet ones, and NEVER want to cause you pain! There are no hard feelings on my part.
Lastly, the most important thing about this trial was: we all prayed fervently for the Haitans. Isn't that what God really wanted to happen? His glory was revealed in the end.
