Something very strange has happened to me....I just turned 40. Gulp. I've moved into a new "age bracket" and have officially become an adult. Soon mammograms and colonoscopies will be on my "to do" list. How did this happen? Just yesterday I was a young woman in her 20's with plenty of time to worry about growing up. Even though I knew the inevitable milestone was just around the corner, I somehow managed to delude myself into believing that it couldn't happen to me. Two weeks later, as I ponder over 4 decades of living, I realize I'm still a girl on the inside. I keep trying to convince my metabolism and the wrinkles under my eyes of this, but so far they are acting like a 40-year-old.
Fortunately, I have grown wiser, stronger in spirit, more passionate and definitely more confident in who I am. This, I'm convinced, is the only good thing about aging...but like good cheese and wine, somethings only get better with age...or so I'm told.
Here are some things I've learned along my journey:
1. Living for today, while forgetting yesterday and worrying about tomorrow. God is the God of this moment and His plans for me are for now.
2. Be grateful for EVERYTHING.
3. Stay humble.
4. Love never fails. True love is loving someone more than yourself.
5. Accept people for who they are while realizing that we all struggle with some inner challenges.
6. Contentment and happiness are a choice because, after all, perception is reality.
7. Children are such a miracle and should be treated as such.
8. Guard and protect your heart, eyes and ears. Be careful that what is being fed to you will produce good fruit.
9. A good marriage is a blessing and should be handled with loving care.
10. Prayer works! God always answers: yes, no or wait. Be content with His decision.
So...I have grown up after all! I am blessed; I am grateful; I am loved...what more could I ask for?
Monday, October 27, 2008
Sunday, October 19, 2008
I'm In Love With Fall
My favorite season has blessed us with her presence....Fall! After many long hot days of sweltering heat, the cool, brisk air has finally settled on our land. I love being outdoors this time of year where I can actually fill my lungs with crisp, cool, fresh air. The month of October, to me, symbolizes the beginning of subtle changes: Change in the weather/climate, change in the wardrobe, change in my age (it's my birthday month) and change of my frame of mind. I feel more upbeat; more energized; more content.
The Northerners living here complain of lack of seasons, but I like the subtle differences Fall gives Texas. One morning I wake up with the covers under my chin and a couple of little boys snuggled against me because they woke up cold. "Oh," I think to myself, "It's time to pull out the jackets." The sun is still brilliantly shining but the crispness in the air is subtle...I can still wear my Capri pants and sandals but perhaps tug on a long sleeved shirt and carry a light jacket, just in case. This is the perfect weather for me.
So here's a toast to Texas Fall! I love you...I'm grateful for your presence and a little sad when you leave...but I will enjoy you immensely while you are here!
The Northerners living here complain of lack of seasons, but I like the subtle differences Fall gives Texas. One morning I wake up with the covers under my chin and a couple of little boys snuggled against me because they woke up cold. "Oh," I think to myself, "It's time to pull out the jackets." The sun is still brilliantly shining but the crispness in the air is subtle...I can still wear my Capri pants and sandals but perhaps tug on a long sleeved shirt and carry a light jacket, just in case. This is the perfect weather for me.
So here's a toast to Texas Fall! I love you...I'm grateful for your presence and a little sad when you leave...but I will enjoy you immensely while you are here!
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Andrew - My Funny Guy!
This blog has become a diary of sorts of my thoughts; my days; my life; my story. I want to remember my boys' precious childhood even though I sometimes find myself wishing they would grow up! As I reminisce through their baby photos, I find myself wanting to squeeze and kiss those fat little cheeks and thighs...and I know that someday, I'll remember these days fondly too.
Andrew has always been our comedian. Since elementary school has officially started for him, he is always doing things to give us a laugh. For instance, trying to buy his lunch in the school cafeteria when I already packed him one. The problem was, he didn't have any money nor did he have any in his account. When I picked him up from school he very adamantly said, "Mom, why do I not have any money in my account? The cafeteria lady let me buy my lunch on a loan!" My response was to roll my eyes and try to jog his memory on the mornings' Q & A session of items he would take in his lunchbox. "Oh, I forgot." his added nonchalantly. The problem is, he has since done this twice! The cafeteria ladies probably think his poor parents can't afford to buy his lunch.
Another recent incident happened on the playground during recess. Apparently he and three other boys got into a confrontation. When I questioned him about what happened he said, "I tried to do all the right things, Mommy. I told them to stop. I tried to walk away, but then one of them hit my back and my temper lost." Needless-to-say, I don't think we will have to worry about Andrew being bullied. Hmmm....I wonder where he gets that from?
As a volunteer in his classroom on Tuesdays, during reading and tub time, I get a glimpse of what his day is like. His teacher announced one morning that since everyone has been in school for 5 weeks, she is expecting them to remember to turn in their red folder and blue book bag daily in the appropriate bins. She then proceeded to announce which children were not doing this. Andrew was one of them. They all had to turn in a "snap cube" as their punishment. The other children took this news well; Andrew did not. He immediately started crying, and while he pointed at me from across the room, he yelled, "It's all your fault!" Everyone looked at me while Andrew continued to carry on like a victim of the most heinous crime. I quietly knelt down in front of him and began to whisper how I'm not responsible for his duties at school. His punishment for me was the silent treatment, for which I was secretly thankful. At least he was being quiet.
Even though at times my little guy can sometimes be clueless and immature, he has a way of doing things that just make us laugh. Alex says he just knows Andrew will have his own comedy show someday...I mean, after all, how many boys on career day decide to dress up as Peter Pan? Only one...and that's my Andrew! I love you silly goose; you are one of a kind!
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
A Bitter Taste
This election year has had me up in arms. With the arrival of Sarah Palin, as well as her unfair and hateful treatment by the media, I feel I'm on a battle field. Not to mention the fact that I'm having construction done in my house, and with all the dust and debris, I'm physically getting ill. I have had a headache everyday for a week, I'm coughing, and I have no bed to sleep in. The combination has left me feeling very drained and tired.
Tonight is another presidential debate, and although I will watch it, there are some things I won't be doing. I've decided certain blogs, websites and television viewing are over for me. I just can't take the vileness in which they express their opinions. It leaves me with a bitter taste in my mouth and a hatred in my heart. This is certainly not what a servant of Jesus is supposed to feel or even think. There is a reason why the bible tells us over and over again to guard our hearts. It's not because we are supposed to keep ourselves uninformed, but to keep ourselves from developing a sense of cynicism that only comes from being too worldly. Jesus says you can't love the world and love me too. I choose Him.
Goodbye and good riddance. Prayers and blessings. Have a wonderful life.
Tonight is another presidential debate, and although I will watch it, there are some things I won't be doing. I've decided certain blogs, websites and television viewing are over for me. I just can't take the vileness in which they express their opinions. It leaves me with a bitter taste in my mouth and a hatred in my heart. This is certainly not what a servant of Jesus is supposed to feel or even think. There is a reason why the bible tells us over and over again to guard our hearts. It's not because we are supposed to keep ourselves uninformed, but to keep ourselves from developing a sense of cynicism that only comes from being too worldly. Jesus says you can't love the world and love me too. I choose Him.
Goodbye and good riddance. Prayers and blessings. Have a wonderful life.
Sunday, October 5, 2008
If You Call My Name
The Lord is good! Sarah did great in the debates and held her own. She's got on her spiritual armor, and even though the liberal media and dysfunctional Hollywood elite keep trying to attack her, those arrows are bouncing right off. So bring it on world...the battle has just begun.
Today was such an awesome day! Worship at church today was so filled with the Holy Spirit that I left there with such gladness and peace; with such a humble spirit before the Lord. Even at a child's birthday party today, I had a conversation with a father so passionate for the Lord and our country. Lately, I am meeting more and more people with such a passion to speak out for Christ and to save our country. We talked about how we need more Christians to boldly and earnestly stand on the Word Of God. Here stood a very successful business man, an educated man, a wealthy man, and yet his first love isn't what the world has to offer but only God's truth. This is a man to whom heads would turn and ears would listen. We need more like him, I decided, and will pray for his calling.
Another encounter recently confirmed what I've been feeling...like we need a rival of sorts...not just a "Come to Jesus" meeting but a "Put on your spiritual armour because it's about to get ugly" meeting. I recently met a new lady in my bible study that literally packed up her family, quit her job, sold all she had because the Lord told her to move to Texas. I listened intently to her testimony of growing up in California (a Godless place, she claims) and feeling a sense of despair and longing so strong that she could only obey God's voice. As she spoke of how different her life has been living in Texas, what she called God's country, I felt so blessed to live and raise my children in a State that still holds so strongly to it's roots. Even though I look around me and see destruction, I am finding that there are more lovers of the truth than there are haters. For that I am so thankful; it gives my soul rest knowing God's people are my neighbors. That they are on their knees praying for the very things I am; that my passion is not in vain.
Take my tile guy. This is a guy I got out of the phone book to rebuild our master shower and Rod and I have had the most amazing conversations with him about the Lord. He has become an instant friend, something that can only happen when there is a spiritual connection, and I am so proud that God brought him into our lives!
I am so thankful; my joy is overflowing; my heart is full. God is Good!
Today was such an awesome day! Worship at church today was so filled with the Holy Spirit that I left there with such gladness and peace; with such a humble spirit before the Lord. Even at a child's birthday party today, I had a conversation with a father so passionate for the Lord and our country. Lately, I am meeting more and more people with such a passion to speak out for Christ and to save our country. We talked about how we need more Christians to boldly and earnestly stand on the Word Of God. Here stood a very successful business man, an educated man, a wealthy man, and yet his first love isn't what the world has to offer but only God's truth. This is a man to whom heads would turn and ears would listen. We need more like him, I decided, and will pray for his calling.
Another encounter recently confirmed what I've been feeling...like we need a rival of sorts...not just a "Come to Jesus" meeting but a "Put on your spiritual armour because it's about to get ugly" meeting. I recently met a new lady in my bible study that literally packed up her family, quit her job, sold all she had because the Lord told her to move to Texas. I listened intently to her testimony of growing up in California (a Godless place, she claims) and feeling a sense of despair and longing so strong that she could only obey God's voice. As she spoke of how different her life has been living in Texas, what she called God's country, I felt so blessed to live and raise my children in a State that still holds so strongly to it's roots. Even though I look around me and see destruction, I am finding that there are more lovers of the truth than there are haters. For that I am so thankful; it gives my soul rest knowing God's people are my neighbors. That they are on their knees praying for the very things I am; that my passion is not in vain.
Take my tile guy. This is a guy I got out of the phone book to rebuild our master shower and Rod and I have had the most amazing conversations with him about the Lord. He has become an instant friend, something that can only happen when there is a spiritual connection, and I am so proud that God brought him into our lives!
I am so thankful; my joy is overflowing; my heart is full. God is Good!
Thursday, October 2, 2008
You Are Called For Such a Time As This...
I've been so burdened for Sarah Palin lately. The media and Hollywood have been attacking her with such a ferocious vileness that literally, my stomach has churned. Planned Parenthood's spokesperson recently said she wants to thank Sarah Palin because their donations have doubled since she has been the v.p. nominee and donors are actually giving money "in name the name of Sarah Palin". They are playing countless videos of Sarah in a beauty contest that took place over 20 years ago where she is playing a flute and wearing a one-piece bathing suit...insinuating that she has nothing more to offer than a pretty face. Hollywood stars are using their media influence to bash and demean her credibility, her intelligence, her experience, her faith, her values and her integrity.
I have never felt more ashamed of our media and entertainment industry than I do right now...but then, I realized, the world is just acting like the world...why should I expect it to act any differently? The "feminist movement" has become more about the liberal cause than about women's rights. Somehow a woman's rights become nonexistent if the woman doesn't follow a certain liberal doctrine...which is exactly the type of bias that I thought feminism was supposed to be against. Turns out, I'm wrong.
Thankfully, I have some sister's in Christ to whom I can voice my frustration. My mom reminded me that God told Esther "I have called you for such a time as this." As I was telling my ladies about this, someone shares this amazing story about a small town pastor whom God uses to speak those exact words to Sarah. Below is Pastor Mark Arnold's story of how amazing God is:
From~ Pastor Mark Arnold (Ohio)
"This past Tuesday, the McCain/Palin Bus came through a little town called, Lebanon, Ohio. The LORD allowed me to go to the Rally giving them a message that He wanted me to personally deliver. Sunday Night - a burden hit me that would only shake me to my knees - I prayed and wept for our Nation. Never has my heart been so broken before God. I literally interceded for these wonderful people who do not deserve all the hate against them. . . . Monday and into Monday Night - the burden of prayer was so heavy that I was literally shaking and could not stop weeping. ( I didn't know that they were coming to Ohio.) I prayed and walked and wept and walked. . . . on and on.Tuesday at 2:00 A.M. - God spoke these words to me - "Go turn the Radio on!" Immediately the Reporter's Words were - "McCain & Palin Bus to be in Lebanon later this morning for a 10:00 A.M. Rally!"Immediately on hearing that news, I heard God again...God said, "You are to go. You will meet them and give them a message for Me!". . . . .I didn't stop praying until I drove over to the town and parked the car. The News would later report they were expecting 5,000 people and the actual head-count of those who had been scanned was more than 10,000 people. I simply obeyed...and God actually told me where to stand, who to talk to...and when to be on the move. . . and even those standing beside you may just be an Angel. I struck up a conversation with an agent on the ground - he simply said, "I can't allow you to stand here!" Here is where the bus was going to actual pull up. They had to make a much larger perimeter so the entire area was now being moved back several blocks. . . He told me to go through the metal detector zone and just watch from the back. So, that's what I did. Looking over the shoulders and backs and heads of all those people...I knew it would take a miracle for what GOD told me to do. As I was standing there, two Boy Scouts came running up my back...literally, they almost knocked me to the ground because they were running so fast behind me. Their Scout Leader and several smaller boys were behind them...but as the first two were trying to push through the crowd, saying they were late...the smaller scouts were left in their dust. The Scout Leader who was with a McCain Rep from the State grabbed me and told me to bring the other Scouts up front as they continued to push through. As the Rep was shouting back at me...the people parted just like God parted the Red Sea! When I got there I was fifteen feet from the podium. GOD said, "Stand here, and don't move from this spot." Within five minutes...the bus pulled up and around the other side McCain, Sarah Palin and her husband Todd stepped up and the speeches took off. I was where God placed me...and even Sarah Palin and Todd were standing on my side of the stage. I made eye contact, I gave them thumbs up gestures...and I knew they were just happy to see me standing there. Ha Ha. A little lady who stood by me, reached up and told the Rep that they had promised a picture with her because she was the one who had lost a son in Iraq, recently. The Rep confirmed she would get a picture with them and they would talk to her. When McCain came to hug her... he immediately shook my hand following his moment with her. I shook his hand . . . . I said, "God wants you to know that I'm praying for you, Sir!" He thanked me and kept smiling. I repeated that phrase to him five times! He grabbed my hands and looked right into my eyes and said, "I won't make it without prayer. Sir, Thank You for praying for me, and don't let one day go by that you don't pray for me. I need all the prayers that I can get. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!" As he moved to my right, Sarah Palin, came over to my left side...standing over the crowd and then looking at the little lady who had lost the son. . . Sarah came and got on her hands and knees on that side of the stage and hugged that little Mom, telling her, "...it was not in vain.. . . . . . . It was at this moment Sarah Palin, reached out for me to help her up and as I was assisting her to stand I was now face to face with her and GOD said,"Open up your Mouth and I will fill it." Here is what came out... "God wants you to know that you are a present day Esther!" [She immediately began to cry]! "God wants to tell you that you are Chosen for such a time as this!" "You are called, and chosen to be a leader." "Don't lose heart and don't fear man." "The news and nay-sayers and criticizers are going to be very hateful toward you... and in the days ahead they are going to turn up the heat...but do not fear." "You are a present day Esther." You are an Esther. You are an Esther! "Keep your eyes on GOD and know that He has chosen you to Reign!" "Stay strong...be strong...don't tire. Don't be weary in well-doing. Be strong." Her husband Todd came over and I told him what I told her. He began to cry. I emphasized the fact that he was to guard her at this time...and know that "...she is GOD-CALLED and GOD-ANOINTED." ...this is a GOD-THING and your wife is a Present day Esther...she is for God to use at this time...She is an Esther...she is an Esther...she is an Esther." You will be hated...but stand strong...GOD has called both of you to stand!" "We are praying and I am praying for you...!" At this moment, McCain came right to where I was finishing talking to Todd and I told Mr. McCain exactly what I told to Sarah and Todd Palin. "Mr. McCain, ...they are called of God and she is an Esther." "Don't lose hope and don't lose heart." We are praying for all of you!" He shook my hand and with a deep look of understanding what I had just said, he said, "Thank you for your prayers and support...I really do mean that!" And he turned and shook more hands...and I watched them as they went through the crowd. When I got to my car I sat there for quite a long time...knowing the GOD of the Universe had just used me to deliver a message confirming to Sarah and Todd to realize they are truly chosen vessels of God. I wept. I have not stopped praying and crying. My heart is full knowing they had to have all the staging and all the hype and all the crowd...but the GOD of Heaven and Earth...wanted to give them a Divine-God-Appointment! To God be all the GLORY and HONOR. Do you want to know if I believe God can speak. Yes...Absolutely! Burdened for all of our Leaders!" Pastor Mark Arnold (Ohio)
Wow! I still get chill bumps reading it! My God is saying: "I've got her, keep praying, but don't be burdened; she is anointed; she is chosen for such a time as this." Tonight are the debates, and I can't wait to see what the Holy Spirit is going to do. No matter what happens, Sarah is not alone and the battle she is fighting cannot be seen with human eyes. Thankfully, she is wearing her spiritual armour that NO man can touch! God be with you, Sarah! Glory be to God!
I have never felt more ashamed of our media and entertainment industry than I do right now...but then, I realized, the world is just acting like the world...why should I expect it to act any differently? The "feminist movement" has become more about the liberal cause than about women's rights. Somehow a woman's rights become nonexistent if the woman doesn't follow a certain liberal doctrine...which is exactly the type of bias that I thought feminism was supposed to be against. Turns out, I'm wrong.
Thankfully, I have some sister's in Christ to whom I can voice my frustration. My mom reminded me that God told Esther "I have called you for such a time as this." As I was telling my ladies about this, someone shares this amazing story about a small town pastor whom God uses to speak those exact words to Sarah. Below is Pastor Mark Arnold's story of how amazing God is:
From~ Pastor Mark Arnold (Ohio)
"This past Tuesday, the McCain/Palin Bus came through a little town called, Lebanon, Ohio. The LORD allowed me to go to the Rally giving them a message that He wanted me to personally deliver. Sunday Night - a burden hit me that would only shake me to my knees - I prayed and wept for our Nation. Never has my heart been so broken before God. I literally interceded for these wonderful people who do not deserve all the hate against them. . . . Monday and into Monday Night - the burden of prayer was so heavy that I was literally shaking and could not stop weeping. ( I didn't know that they were coming to Ohio.) I prayed and walked and wept and walked. . . . on and on.Tuesday at 2:00 A.M. - God spoke these words to me - "Go turn the Radio on!" Immediately the Reporter's Words were - "McCain & Palin Bus to be in Lebanon later this morning for a 10:00 A.M. Rally!"Immediately on hearing that news, I heard God again...God said, "You are to go. You will meet them and give them a message for Me!". . . . .I didn't stop praying until I drove over to the town and parked the car. The News would later report they were expecting 5,000 people and the actual head-count of those who had been scanned was more than 10,000 people. I simply obeyed...and God actually told me where to stand, who to talk to...and when to be on the move. . . and even those standing beside you may just be an Angel. I struck up a conversation with an agent on the ground - he simply said, "I can't allow you to stand here!" Here is where the bus was going to actual pull up. They had to make a much larger perimeter so the entire area was now being moved back several blocks. . . He told me to go through the metal detector zone and just watch from the back. So, that's what I did. Looking over the shoulders and backs and heads of all those people...I knew it would take a miracle for what GOD told me to do. As I was standing there, two Boy Scouts came running up my back...literally, they almost knocked me to the ground because they were running so fast behind me. Their Scout Leader and several smaller boys were behind them...but as the first two were trying to push through the crowd, saying they were late...the smaller scouts were left in their dust. The Scout Leader who was with a McCain Rep from the State grabbed me and told me to bring the other Scouts up front as they continued to push through. As the Rep was shouting back at me...the people parted just like God parted the Red Sea! When I got there I was fifteen feet from the podium. GOD said, "Stand here, and don't move from this spot." Within five minutes...the bus pulled up and around the other side McCain, Sarah Palin and her husband Todd stepped up and the speeches took off. I was where God placed me...and even Sarah Palin and Todd were standing on my side of the stage. I made eye contact, I gave them thumbs up gestures...and I knew they were just happy to see me standing there. Ha Ha. A little lady who stood by me, reached up and told the Rep that they had promised a picture with her because she was the one who had lost a son in Iraq, recently. The Rep confirmed she would get a picture with them and they would talk to her. When McCain came to hug her... he immediately shook my hand following his moment with her. I shook his hand . . . . I said, "God wants you to know that I'm praying for you, Sir!" He thanked me and kept smiling. I repeated that phrase to him five times! He grabbed my hands and looked right into my eyes and said, "I won't make it without prayer. Sir, Thank You for praying for me, and don't let one day go by that you don't pray for me. I need all the prayers that I can get. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!" As he moved to my right, Sarah Palin, came over to my left side...standing over the crowd and then looking at the little lady who had lost the son. . . Sarah came and got on her hands and knees on that side of the stage and hugged that little Mom, telling her, "...it was not in vain.. . . . . . . It was at this moment Sarah Palin, reached out for me to help her up and as I was assisting her to stand I was now face to face with her and GOD said,"Open up your Mouth and I will fill it." Here is what came out... "God wants you to know that you are a present day Esther!" [She immediately began to cry]! "God wants to tell you that you are Chosen for such a time as this!" "You are called, and chosen to be a leader." "Don't lose heart and don't fear man." "The news and nay-sayers and criticizers are going to be very hateful toward you... and in the days ahead they are going to turn up the heat...but do not fear." "You are a present day Esther." You are an Esther. You are an Esther! "Keep your eyes on GOD and know that He has chosen you to Reign!" "Stay strong...be strong...don't tire. Don't be weary in well-doing. Be strong." Her husband Todd came over and I told him what I told her. He began to cry. I emphasized the fact that he was to guard her at this time...and know that "...she is GOD-CALLED and GOD-ANOINTED." ...this is a GOD-THING and your wife is a Present day Esther...she is for God to use at this time...She is an Esther...she is an Esther...she is an Esther." You will be hated...but stand strong...GOD has called both of you to stand!" "We are praying and I am praying for you...!" At this moment, McCain came right to where I was finishing talking to Todd and I told Mr. McCain exactly what I told to Sarah and Todd Palin. "Mr. McCain, ...they are called of God and she is an Esther." "Don't lose hope and don't lose heart." We are praying for all of you!" He shook my hand and with a deep look of understanding what I had just said, he said, "Thank you for your prayers and support...I really do mean that!" And he turned and shook more hands...and I watched them as they went through the crowd. When I got to my car I sat there for quite a long time...knowing the GOD of the Universe had just used me to deliver a message confirming to Sarah and Todd to realize they are truly chosen vessels of God. I wept. I have not stopped praying and crying. My heart is full knowing they had to have all the staging and all the hype and all the crowd...but the GOD of Heaven and Earth...wanted to give them a Divine-God-Appointment! To God be all the GLORY and HONOR. Do you want to know if I believe God can speak. Yes...Absolutely! Burdened for all of our Leaders!" Pastor Mark Arnold (Ohio)
Wow! I still get chill bumps reading it! My God is saying: "I've got her, keep praying, but don't be burdened; she is anointed; she is chosen for such a time as this." Tonight are the debates, and I can't wait to see what the Holy Spirit is going to do. No matter what happens, Sarah is not alone and the battle she is fighting cannot be seen with human eyes. Thankfully, she is wearing her spiritual armour that NO man can touch! God be with you, Sarah! Glory be to God!
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