Thursday, October 1, 2009

Confessions of a Mad Housewife

I must confess. Yesterday I had a melt-down. You know, the kind where you just lose it over nothing earth-shattering or life-altering; just one more thing added to your to-do list while the kids are screaming and the dog is barking and the phone is ringing and the dinner is burning... For me, it was the printer. It was just the last straw in another battle of the wills that I had no control over. I just wanted it to print. I thought when we bought a printer that that is what it was created to do: print.

I checked all the major components: Paper tray: full, black ink: brand new, power light: on...the basic needs of the printer were met, and yet, it would not print. The warning message flashed "refill the color ink", but I didn't have or need color ink. I wasn't asking for much; just plain, boring, black and white. Unfortunately, it was not going to print ANYTHING until the color ink cartridge was fully loaded.

"I DON'T NEED COLOR!" I yelled and pulled my hair. It did nothing. Crying didn't help either; I tried that too.

My family didn't understand my melt-down. Really, how could it be explained? I am constantly telling my children to not cry over "spilled milk" so how could I explain my tears of frustration over a printer? As goofy as it sounds, I needed to throw a tantrum. My system was on overload and it was either tears or profanity...or both. I apologized profusely after it was over, but it felt cathartic and cleansing, like a purging of the days' offenses being washed away by my tears.

However, as good as it feels to purge, I'm always left with a nagging feeling that one of these days, in the not-so-far-off future, my boys will be laying on a couch in a sterile office describing their mother's crying melt-downs to a head doctor while he reveals the real reason they can't cry at Hallmark commercials: "It's all your mother's fault!"

So much for tantrums.

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