Just sit on the pot

Last Thursday, Aidan awoke me at 4 am complaining of stomach pains. Like any mom of three, I assumed it was nothing and agreed to lay with him while he fell back to sleep. Two hours later, Rod and he were on their way to the emergency room. This felt like deja vu as Aidan has complained and gone to the e.r. before only to discover he needed to pass gas. That was a pretty costly toot.

As Rod pulled up to the e.r., he noticed that Aidan was quiet and calm in his car seat. Rod asked him again if he was sure this wasn't another episode of him just needing to fart. "Dad," he mocked, "I was just being tough." He insisted he was still hurting. Thirty minutes later, after having to wait in a hospital room unseen, Aidan announced: "Let's get out of here, Dad. I just want to go home. It's taking too long." he whined.

After a once over by the e.r. doc on duty, Rod calls me and announces that Aidan has a hernia and needs surgery at Cook's Childrens' Hospital in Ft. Worth. They are coming to get me so I can ride with them. It sounded so serious, but it also didn't feel right. The doctor didn't even take x-rays. After years of watching George Clooney on the tube, I knew that was the first thing a physician should do.

Arriving at Cook's, a female e.r. doc immediately assessed the situation, and within seconds said it wasn't a hernia, but his bladder that was distended. After x-rays were taken (I knew George was right), the problem seemed to be with a huge amount of stool backed-up in his colon that was pressing on his bladder, which was keeping him from urinating. My poor little guy! He was full of crap, literally.

This week we found ourselves back at the doctor's office but this time with our trusted and beloved pediatrician. A day after the e.r. episodes, Aidan had a 102 fever, vomiting and lethargy. Was this all because of the poop or did he pick up a virus in the e.r.? Finally it was decided. An enema was to be performed. Have you tried to do an enema on a four-year-old? Let me just say, it ain't pretty.

So all of this poop business has left me thinking that my favorite comedian, Tim Hawkins, is right: it all boils down to poop. In his act, he makes fun of his southern mother who's remedy for all that ails a person is...to sit on the pot.

Mom: "Just sit on the pot, and you will feel fantastic."
Kid: "But mom, I think I broke my leg"
Mom: "Just sit on the pot!"