I have to admit, I've been thinking about my dad lately. Sadly, not the wonderful, cozy and feel-good memories, but the painful ones. I think having your own children does that to you: you either really appreciate and admire your parents, or you try your hardest not to become them. Don't get me wrong, I love my dad and so many things about him. He had a smile that was irresistible and a wonderfully contagious laugh. Not only was he handsome, but he had so much hidden talent that he never did tap into. So much wasted potential! He was always very gentle and patient with me as a young girl...just absent. Yes, God had such amazing plans for Thomas, but he chose his own destructive path. Haven't we all done this to a certain degree? I'm so thankful for the Lord's mercy and grace!
My biggest regret in life has been the things I would tell him now. Although I was fortunate to have made peace with him before he died, I'm not sure where he really stood in his relationship with the Lord. I wasn't as mature in my faith then, and I think I failed miserably at really explaining God to him. For that I am so ashamed and regretful. Of course, I talked to him about God, but there were so many things that I had yet to discover about our heavenly Father. So many things I would share with him now that I have learned to be true. My regret has to be laid at the feet of Jesus; my tears bottled up and wiped away by my Lord. "If onlies" are futile. Only God knows where my daddy's soul is spending eternity, and I can't and won't dwell on it. I can only share my love and knowledge of God with my three sons and hope that they stay on the course God has planned for them. So much potential that WILL NOT be wasted! Amen.
Happy Father's Day, Tom. I love you.
3 comments:
I have a wonderful memory of your dad. I was very young and staying a week with your parents. At some point I decided I was homesick and hid under the bed. After trying to coax me out, he decided to join me. I still remember his kind, compassionate words as we lay under the bed talking.
I have a wonderful memory of your dad. I was very young and staying a week with your parents. At some point I decided I was homesick and hid under the bed. After trying to coax me out, he decided to join me. I still remember his kind, compassionate words as we lay under the bed talking.
I wish I could remember him more. I wish I could have seen that smile. I remember you speaking of making peace with him and the joy that was in your eyes.
Sometime I will let you barrow my dad. Deal!!
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